newhope01

I think I need to learn how to be grateful for my sobriety. Fighting the AV right now and it's no fun.

CAPTAINZING2000

I spend most of my free time at cancer treatment for my mom

splendra

My mother recently passed away and there has been a lot of chaos in my family. My siblings are fighting tooth and nail over who gets what.
I am just going to lay back and see what happens. I am not going to fight or get greedy. Nothing is worth loosing the peace of mind I have fought so hard to get and maintain.

Wholesome

Sorry to hear about your mom....... no other relationship like that one...... my mother is still with me but I have a hard time even thinking about the day when I will lose her.

I remember when my grandmother passed and my aunts all fighting over her money and possessions, it was distasteful. Good for you for not being a part of that.

splendra

Thank you for the support. Every condolence heals my heart. Now I truly understand why it is necessary to console and to be consoled.
I am very close to my mom and I am sure she wants me to get past the BS my siblings are producing.

Rusty Zipper

my sincere condoleneces splend

being in the antiques/estate sale business

i see this quite frequently

it even happened when my grandparent passed

best wishes to you and all the family

SoberNunn

I love this...How do we save favourite posts to easily access later?

Arpeggioh

I was four pages into reading this thread before I realized it was started nine years ago! It's a good one, full of hope and practical advice and inspiring thoughts, and I'm very happy it's still active. Thanks, Splendra...

splendra

Nine years my the time has flown. Nothing like getting over it . Thank you so much for reading it. All three of my siblings are active addicts. I can't begin to express how important my recovery is to me at this time. It really began when I realized I had to get over it. Fortunately I sober recovery gave me a solid foundation.

shockozulu

I saw the dancing girl in another thread and did a double take: is that Splendra? So glad to see you again after so long.

My mother passed away a few years ago. My sister and only sibling was in active addiction. So everything fell on me to get it done if it needed to be done. The one thing I asked of her was to drive me to Mom's celebration of life . The one I planned, ordered the sheet music for, arranged the singer etc. Sis couldn't even do that and and she was telling me how it was too much emotionally for her to go while my good friend the opera singer was calling me asking why I was half an hour late!

The crazy thing was my sister was never close to my mother. This period of time in my life, as well as the fact I learned during the two weeks before her death that my mother was dying of a deadly neurological disease I likely had myself (since confirmed).

AT this point I put my foot down and stated to myself and the world this is MY recovery and everyone else can kiss my butt. Best thing I ever did.

splendra

Grieving a loss has made me think a lot about getting over stuff. I have lost 3 really important people to me in the past year. Family issues have been magnified to highly painful proportions. I am sitting here thinking about how can I get over this terrible yucky stuff. I found a quote that goes with how I feel

Rusty Zipper

(((splend)))

splendra

(((((Rusty))))) I hope you are doing well.

Rusty Zipper

splend

i've had to "get over it" quite a few times this year! lol

happy thanksgiving

splendra

Happy Thanksgiving to you as well. I think the holidays gives us tremendous opportunity to
Get Over It:

least

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-8l8v3h1Bg

Spider

I think I understand the point of this post; I believe it was written with only good intentions.

The danger is that it conflates self-pity with depression. Advising someone to get over self-pity is ok; telling someone to get over depression is irresponsible and leads to getting people dead. People who suffer (the ones I know and have read of) do not blame others, conditions, or any other tangible outside agent for their malaise. Depression is an emotional injury born from chemical imbalances that are yet to be fully understood, but are universally recognized to be real by the finest scientific and medical minds. So to any who suffer, I encourage seeking help. I do; I force myself even when the idea of a pre-born state seems to be the only kindness available.

So, I apologize if this has already been addressed in this thread. I could only make it though a few pages.

splendra

I know a lot of people who are depressed. Thoughts can change the chemistry in our brains. If someone is stuck in a hole of depression there is a lot of help for it but not all try to find help and some times the help does not reach the person. At that point someone is going to have to get over something.
I have a sister who talks about her depression a lot some times she calls me to threaten suicide I feel like I take the appropriate action and call 911 because I know I can't deal with it . They give her meds and a bed to sleep in for a few days and then she is back out falling down the same hole. She has called me threatening suicide 4 times in less than a year. It appears to be a pattern for her when she is not getting what she wants. I hate to say she is trying to emotionally blackmail me but is does appear that she is. God knows I feel for her and I have tried to help her many times but, I have had to get to a point where I am over it.
I have had to have a support group around me for years because of the members of my own family have so many issues and they will take me down in a heart beat if I am not extremely careful. My addiction is in trying to help these people out and it is very easy for me to get tangled up in their web.
I think she needs to get over something I don't know what it is but, I do know I can't make her. I believe that people can heal from depression and it begins with the right therapy and the right kind of brain management from the person.

Bunker

Yeah it is ok to get over yourself. Not so easy to plod on though.

nogard

I don’t agree with the ‘get over it’ for me that’s an old message denying me myself

but I understand that recovery is about healing and moving back Into life one step at a time.

that’s what I did and continue to do and without apportioning blame I have also been able to look at my childhood trauma, heal that and release old behaviours that no longer serve me.

i am daily grateful to be drug free, have a great life and choices about everything.