dave47

Pick yourself up Matt, being honest with yourself and others means there is always hope, best wishes.

PebblesJ

Matt I know and understand where you are at. I made the decision to use again last week. I know it was a BAD decision but it was the decision I made. Do I regret it? YES! I know going straight wasn't going to be easy for me but I am willing and wanting to be clean. Back to square one for both of us. There has to be a starting point and I feel having the desire to quit is it!!! Love to you and to all the wonderful and supportive people here! XOXOXOXOXO


YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT -- BUT IF YOU TRY SOMETIME YOU JUST MIGHT FIND YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED!

Captain Kirk

How are you Matt? I know you're here but you're not saying much. Maybe you might want to share your thoughts and feelings. When I'm like that it makes me feel better just to know that someone knows what I'm feeling, even if they may not understand exactly what's going through my mind.
I was thinking, I relapsed at the weekend too. Like you I wanted to drink, no struggle - as you said.
I was in the shower this morning and I suddenly realized. Last weekend I choose (sp?) to have the first one. But after that I didn't make a choice about the subsequent drinks. I was powerless over alcohol. So I ended up drinking untill I was hands and knees.
So I was wondering after you had the first, which you wanted, did you really want - as in, did you decide - to have the subsequent ones or did the just come as a matter of course?
Take care. :ghug3

Captain Kirk

P-S: I just found out, I didn't relapse. I slipped too. From wikipedia: A slip (also sometimes called a lapse) is a psychological term that denotes a particular action during or after (most usually after) a psychological or medical treatment. It happens when a patient, during or after a treatment to modify a maladaptive behaviour pattern or habit (such as a drug addiction), does an action characteristic of the problem for which he/she went to therapy. It is different from a relapse in that a slip is something puntual, that happens once, and does not imply a regression to previous (maladaptive) behaviour patterns. Slips are somewhat expected after a treatment, depending on the problem the patient presents. Don't be too hard on yourself.

nodrinkingzone

Hey Matt,

thanks for being honest - we'll keep a seat in the 3 months and under thread for ya, keep coming back.

Mattcake

I guess I'll come out of hiding. Thank you everyone for your support, it does mean a lot to me. I'm taking good care of myself, not drinking, trying to get my bearings. Will post more later.

Love to all, thanks again

Matt

Rob B

The insanity of active alcoholism is the notion that you actually made a decision about your relapse. Here's an exercise: Read Chapter 3 in the Big Book: More about Alcoholism. Read Jim's Story, The Jaywalker, and Fred's Story. Can you find yourself identifying? The last paragraph in this chapter contains life saving information if you are anything like our above mentioned friends.

tay-lyn

Hey Matt;
So glad to see you stuck around and are trying again. Everyone slips. Whatever sobriety you can accumulate is better than nothing. So you haven't thrown anything away. You don't need to start over. You just pick up with your sobriety where you left off, maybe this time you'll learn a little more and get a bit more sobriety under your belt....and hey, if you work hard enough...maybe you won't have another slip. Just keep trying.
Hope to hear from you more.
Tay.

Aysha

Rob B

This is a generalization and certainly not true for everyone. If relapse is part of your story, so be it. Learn from it, in particular what you didn't or were not willing to do. Sadly the notion that relapse is a manadatory part of recovery has become prevalent. I wish to say not only to Matt, but to everyone new and struggling you never have to drink again.

Dee74

welcome back Matt
no, relapse isn't mandatory - but it does happen.
You're not alone, and I think that's the point best made here

D