1CountryBoy

My mother was an alcoholic but has been sober for several years now. She has never looked back and wanted to drink again the way she once did. She quit with the help of her family and sheer will power. And her grandchildren had a lot to do with it. When she had been stone sober for almost a year, one of her friends who was also a recovering alcoholic told her that she was a "situational" alcoholic. That because she was depressed about her job, and her home, and lonely, she drank to excesses to fill the void. My mom quit drinking when she moved to a new town, found a new home there, and became involved with the people that she worked with. So it was as if she turned a corner and no longer needed the crutch of alcohol. I should say that she drank heavily for the better part of 15 years before that point. To this day she is sober, and never mentions alcohol at all unless someone brings it up, but then she really talks about her decade and a half of alcoholism with disgust. Is there such a thing as a situational alcoholic? I was around her the whole time when she gave up the bottle and it was almost miraculous. Are there just those who can quit on the spot and walk away from that life and never look back? She did, but I wonder how rare this is. Anyone else been able to accomplish this task and can shed some light on why it may have seemed so effortless for her?

Dee74

I quit on the spot and walked away, but only after 15 years of trying to stop, with varying degrees of determination....

...dunno about never look back tho...the first few months were hard - real hard.

Looking back I realise I finally reached the point of despair, of hopelessness, of fear, where I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink, and I thank God I did.

I find talk of 'situational' alcoholics and 'real' alcoholics pretty tiresome...it's like grading papers to me...there are real people with real problems - however they find the path back, and for whatever reasons, I say 'great work'

D

29a

I'm a situational alcoholic, every situation makes me drink ;-)

It's hard to give things labels, she may have just been a heavy drinker.

CarolD

The God I believe in can do miracles.
The biggest one He did for me was to remove my drinking obcession.

Not in the same manner as you described
Miracles are very personal IMO

Glad your Mom is enjoying sobriety.

gutterman317

Usually if that happens it is God given. People try to accomplish that their whole lives, I am living proof. There was a book wrote back in 1939, called the big book of AA, and that's the only goal it had in mind, was total recovery of alcoholism through a spiritual awakening.

indigo

Congratulations on your moms sober time and welcome to SR.

Captain Kirk

Interesting thoughts going into this thread.
But, in my humble oppinion, does it really matter? I mean: "occasional drunk"; "weekend warrior"; "problem drinker"; "heavy drinker"; "situational alcoholic"; "alcoholic"; "chronic alcoholic" etc. etc. What's the point of measuring the quantity of our illness? Is the outcome not the same? When the alcohol is damaging our lives and the lives of thoese around us does it really matter how ill we are? We're ill and we need to focus on getting better.

nogard

great responses, no need to add more

Welcome to SR CB

dave47

One of the lads i used to drink with did it when he became a father. He was as bad as me, if not worse and he made a decision and walked away. Seven years later, with two daughters he couldn't be happier and has no interest in drink. You can do it if you really want to.I think that in his priorities alcohol wasn't important anymore. Welcome to SR, by the way.

29a

The big book says something to the effect of "a hard drinker will be able to stop or moderate if he has sufficient reason to do so"

1963comet

I have known a few people that did what your mother did. My step dad told my mother one day he was going to quit the next friday and he did it. He was sober 10 years before he died.

I have done the same thing. I thought if my sted dad can do it, so can I. Today the thought of drinking just makes me ill. Have not touched it in over seven years. I love my life today and would not change a thing.

Mattcake

Countryboy, my father heavily abused alcohol for several years, then suddenly stopped because "it is bad for me"; no AA, no support, no nothing. He has never looked back. He keeps beer in the fridge for me.

My personal belief is that, as each one of us is unique and irreplaceable, so it our drinking behaviour (among countless other things). I feel there are as many types of alcoholism as there are alcoholics.

Matt

NoelleR

One other thing has crossed my mind.....perhaps she wasn't an alcoholic....

I believe that there are: 1) alcoholics; and 2) folks who drink alcoholically for a time, but are not alcoholics.

There are many folks out there who, to look at, one might think they were alcoholics....they drank alcoholically.....but it could have been due to their situations.....and when the situations changed, or the person's perception of the situations changed, the drinking was no longer necessary.

I've known some folks who were going thru tough times, and turned to drink for a while.....but after a while they saw the error of their ways and changed. Some have even been able to drink on occasion, as a normal drinker.....go figure..... just cause it may walk like a duck, or quack like a duck, it may just be an impersonator.....

Just a thought..... (o:


NoelleR

22NGONE

I know a guy at Church who after I announced I was an Alcoholic in AA said he quit cold turkey after 25 years of heavy drinking and black outs. I think I am learning from AA that there is a difference between not drinking and recovering. I'm opting for recovering and working the steps. John

bugsworth

Country, It's just a word game! You say your mother drank heavily for 15 years...nothing "situational" about that!! It boils down to being sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know many people who have quit just this way. Human beings are powerful, so many things are possible!

mle-sober

My brother was a horrible drunk for 20 yrs - DUIs, violence toward his girlfriend, finding himself in dumpsters, etc. We thought he would never quit. And then one day - he says there was nothing different about it - he realized he was going to die. And he sat down in a chair and put one hand one one arm and the other hand on the other arm and said, "If I keep my hands on this chair, I can't hold alcohol." Obviously, he still had to get up to eat and use the facilities. He called in sick for 1 week while he detoxed. A friend brought over some things he needed. But when his hands were not busy with other essential tasks, he kept them on the chair and made that his mission. He has been sober for 10 yrs. Five yrs or so ago, when I first heard him tell that story, I cried. It was so painful. Alcohol is a demon to me. Now, what I think that story reveals is (1) that we *can* quit if we are sufficiently motivated and (2) that my brother is a stubborn mule who can do whatever he sets his mind to.
I have no idea how that pertains to being a situational drunk, sorry.

sugErspun

I too believe that some people can quit if they really want to or really need to - that point is different for each of course.

Please understand though - you may come across alcoholics who cannot stop no matter what, they will drink themselves to death and it isn't lack of will power. They pretty much need 'God' to intervene - it takes a miracle for them to stop and stay stopped.

It is folks like this who wrote Alcoholics Anonymous, the medical field had pretty much written them off as hopeless and doomed to alcoholic death or the insane asylum.

Herein lies the problem - how can you help this type of alcoholic if you quit on willpower alone, and that won't work for them? I need to be able to relate to the worst possible case if I am to be of any use to them.

mle-sober

I don't think anyone quits on willpower alone - not even my brother. What I meant is that he didn't need to use AA or a hospital program. He did need to use God. He said he prayed constantly. I guess I left that little detail out - sorry. I think quitting, for any real alcoholic, requires a *radical transformation* of self and that God (however you expereince God) is an essential part of that. I tried and tried and tried to quit. I used every idea I had. But it wasn't until I surrendered and started praying that suddenly, I was given this enormous gift of sobriety. That day, I actually said to God, sobbing and asking for help, "I am a hopeless drunk. Please hlep me. I cannot do it on my own."

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Yes, Mle, your bro had a spiritual experience.

Powerful posts..thank you.

Lily

Country boy,

I think it can happen....sometimes.....w/out support from AA, but in most cases, a person general needs support from others who are in recovery.

I can remember thinking "hey, I am that person!" So I continued on with my life and stayed clean and sober for a full 8 years diving into my church, my son, my job, but then when something BIG happened in my life...(my husbands brain cancer) since I had no support and didn't even know ppl in recovery anymore....i started drinking secretly.

So I am all for support. I need ppl in recovery because for me, when I isolate away from others in recovery for long periods of time my mind plays tricks on me like I am normal like others and for me, I know I am really not. While I hope you mom continues on w/ her sobriety, a home group of support is always a good thing! :-)

Hope that helps! Sheila