My Mother Took Her Last Drink, and Her Last Drink Took Her Life.
Bring Laughter Wherever You Go
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 357
My Mother Took Her Last Drink, and Her Last Drink Took Her Life.
You may have read in my other threads or blogs that my mother has been an alcoholic all my life, and is still drinking.
But not anymore. She's had her last drink.
My sister and I have been trying to get her sobered up for at least a day so that we can talk her into going into detox and rehab again. Last Wednesday was the day we were going to talk to my mother, but she was too drunk, wouldn't answer the phone or door.
Sunday she was drunk and fell down the stairs, her husband called the paramedics, but she seemed fine, aside from the black eye and bruised shoulder and leg. So her husband left her Sunday night for a business trip, he tried calling her Monday, Monday night and Tuesday. No answer. He figured she was just drunk and not answering the phone. He came home last night and found her passed out on the floor. He called the paramedics. She was rushed to the nearest hospital where her husband was told it was grim. Her brain had hemoraged and swelled. She was in a coma and place on life-support. There was nothing that hospital could do so they sent her to Hamilton to a neurosurgeon. The NS said that he was going to perform emergency surgery and see what damage was done. The surgeon said that the bleeding in her brain had stopped but he didn't know if she would live or die. If she lived, she would probably be veggitative for life and need around the clock care.
She is only 56. And IF she lives, she may never come out of her coma and stay on life-support at which time we would need to make the decision to keep her on the machines or not. If she lives and comes out of the coma and off the life-support, she won't be able to move or talk.
Of coarse I was beside myself last night. We didn't go to the hospital right away because it is a couple of hours away and I haven't been able to move because of the sickness I've had with the new pregnancy. My sister was keeping me posted every half hour or so. But we are leaving in a few hours for the hospital. There isn't any news yet on her condition, they will do another CAT scan this afternoon which will tell them if there is any brain activity.
So that it. It's over. She finally drank herself to death in one way or another. 56 years old, drunk most of her life, and now her life is over.
I can't tell you the pain I am in. The idea that she will live or die is both painful. I am so sad for her my heart is completely broken. I have NEVER felt this kind of pain. I am so sorry for her.
I have to try my best to keep my emotions in check considering I am so newly pregnant.
We begged her for years to stop. Didn't she know that one day she would leave us kids with this? Didn't she know the pain she would cause.....on top of the pain of her life-long drinking! I'm so angry....sad.....sorry.....hurt.....devestated.
I don't know when I'll be able to check back in. But I will at some point.
Isn't it crazy that with all this...ALL THIS happening, AND being pregnant...what do you think the first thing I wanted last night was? YIP...I was dying for a drink! That made me sick, my mother was dying right then and there from the booze, and I wanted a drink!
I didn't take one and won't.....if for no other reason then simply because I am pregnant.....which THANK GOD for, because that might be the only thing keeping me sober right now.
Ok, sorry this is such a long post. I don't even know why I'm telling you all this....I'm not looking for pity, really. I NEEDED to come here and talk about what is happening and how much I am fighting the urge to drink. Guess I'm just looking for a little support. My sister and husband would be disgusted if they knew I wanted a drink with all this going on. So I can't share with anyone but you guys.
Hope you're all well.
Tay.
But not anymore. She's had her last drink.
My sister and I have been trying to get her sobered up for at least a day so that we can talk her into going into detox and rehab again. Last Wednesday was the day we were going to talk to my mother, but she was too drunk, wouldn't answer the phone or door.
Sunday she was drunk and fell down the stairs, her husband called the paramedics, but she seemed fine, aside from the black eye and bruised shoulder and leg. So her husband left her Sunday night for a business trip, he tried calling her Monday, Monday night and Tuesday. No answer. He figured she was just drunk and not answering the phone. He came home last night and found her passed out on the floor. He called the paramedics. She was rushed to the nearest hospital where her husband was told it was grim. Her brain had hemoraged and swelled. She was in a coma and place on life-support. There was nothing that hospital could do so they sent her to Hamilton to a neurosurgeon. The NS said that he was going to perform emergency surgery and see what damage was done. The surgeon said that the bleeding in her brain had stopped but he didn't know if she would live or die. If she lived, she would probably be veggitative for life and need around the clock care.
She is only 56. And IF she lives, she may never come out of her coma and stay on life-support at which time we would need to make the decision to keep her on the machines or not. If she lives and comes out of the coma and off the life-support, she won't be able to move or talk.
Of coarse I was beside myself last night. We didn't go to the hospital right away because it is a couple of hours away and I haven't been able to move because of the sickness I've had with the new pregnancy. My sister was keeping me posted every half hour or so. But we are leaving in a few hours for the hospital. There isn't any news yet on her condition, they will do another CAT scan this afternoon which will tell them if there is any brain activity.
So that it. It's over. She finally drank herself to death in one way or another. 56 years old, drunk most of her life, and now her life is over.
I can't tell you the pain I am in. The idea that she will live or die is both painful. I am so sad for her my heart is completely broken. I have NEVER felt this kind of pain. I am so sorry for her.
I have to try my best to keep my emotions in check considering I am so newly pregnant.
We begged her for years to stop. Didn't she know that one day she would leave us kids with this? Didn't she know the pain she would cause.....on top of the pain of her life-long drinking! I'm so angry....sad.....sorry.....hurt.....devestated.
I don't know when I'll be able to check back in. But I will at some point.
Isn't it crazy that with all this...ALL THIS happening, AND being pregnant...what do you think the first thing I wanted last night was? YIP...I was dying for a drink! That made me sick, my mother was dying right then and there from the booze, and I wanted a drink!
I didn't take one and won't.....if for no other reason then simply because I am pregnant.....which THANK GOD for, because that might be the only thing keeping me sober right now.
Ok, sorry this is such a long post. I don't even know why I'm telling you all this....I'm not looking for pity, really. I NEEDED to come here and talk about what is happening and how much I am fighting the urge to drink. Guess I'm just looking for a little support. My sister and husband would be disgusted if they knew I wanted a drink with all this going on. So I can't share with anyone but you guys.
Hope you're all well.
Tay.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 68
I am so sorry you are going through this. Yet again, thank you for your post. I don't want to put my children through anything like that. You really hit me where it should hurt. Reality! Rude Awakening! That could be me. I have fallen drunk and woke up with a blackeye. I'll say a prayer for your mom, you and your family. So sorry again.... but man oh man, if I don't get a grip on my sobriety - that is me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Flint MI
Posts: 4,455
Tay My god Baby I am keeping you so close in my prayers, I can only tell you to take it one very small step at a time, re read threw my threads you will see we are walking some what similar paths, and please I know it is damn near impossible not to worry and stress but baby that is what is best for you and the baby, your mom isn't dead ( the drs had already called me and told me my mom was dead) and some times with the state she is in right now it is a healing state for her body and her mind....My mom just called me a little bit ago she is going shopping with my sisters for easter eggs to fill and put in the yard, some times it takes different ppl different bottoms to reach the conclusion that they DO have something to live for, themselves and they keep fighting......even though there is never enough hope or good wishes and luck when ya need it I will send you all of mine.....Because I KNOW how hard this is!!!!!!! Good luck and Pm me if you need a shoulder!!!!!
Hugs and Love,
Pamm
I don't know if what I said made sense I just started typing after I seen your words I just want you to know your not a lone!!!!
Hugs and Love,
Pamm
I don't know if what I said made sense I just started typing after I seen your words I just want you to know your not a lone!!!!
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 488
Hey tay, my thoughts are with you. . I hate thinking of something like this as a blessing, but maybe it will allow you to close this painful chapter of your life. Especially now with such a happy new chapter beginning.
Stay postive and strong - as you always are.
Stay postive and strong - as you always are.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 540
Im so sorry for your pain. Of course your not looking for pity. The people here understand, and it is a wonderful support. I lost my mother a year ago to alcohol, and too we begged her to stop. There is nothing you could have done to prevent any of this. It is a progressive disease and until they are ready to recover they won't. I too am from Ontario, Hamilton has a top notch hospital, she is in the hands of very good staff. She is your mother, not matter what they have done or said she is a part of you. Please be kind to yourself. Prayers to you and your family. Keep coming back to this board, it has been my lifesaver. (((( hugs )))))
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
Wow. Sorry to hear such terrible news. Remember, your #1 priority is to take care of the new life growing inside of you, so try to stay relaxed (as hard as that may be right now). I will keep you in my prayers.
Keeping me sober today.
Keeping me sober today.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Tay,
I am so sorry to hear about this. How terribly sad for you and your family.
The main thing right now, though, is take care of yourself.
It's very hard to understand why something like this happens. For whatever reasons, your mother was on her own path and there was little you or your family could do.
Let us know how you're doing.
I am so sorry to hear about this. How terribly sad for you and your family.
The main thing right now, though, is take care of yourself.
It's very hard to understand why something like this happens. For whatever reasons, your mother was on her own path and there was little you or your family could do.
Let us know how you're doing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Medina, Ohio
Posts: 372
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through this tragedy. The truth is that your mother wasn't thinking of you, like most alcholics, myself included, when I was drinking I only thought of myself. You must rest assured that your mother died of a disease and is in a better place. Take care of yourself and your baby and just remember that you can stop this cycle of pain with your recovery. God Bless You.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 12
Tay, I am so sorry to hear about your mother. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. When I drink, I often black out and my biggest fear is that I could really hurt myself and not be able to get to the hospital due to my drunkeness. Your post made me realize how much my drinking could effect everyone around me when I thought that I was only hurting myself. Big hugs to you.
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