OK..What gives?
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Hey Girl,
I think your Gram and my Mom are related.lol In more ways than one.
I've came to the conclusion that older folks all think that they know what's best for the generations following them. I see this in how my Mom is with me and how I swore I would never, ever say and do things like my Mom did/does when I became a Mother. Then, much to my horror, I hear my Moms voice come out of my mouth! At times I think I need to spin around and try to catch the ventriloquist who is putting Mom's words in my mouth. My Son will look at me and sigh loudly and say,"Mom, you sound just like Grandma." NOOOOO! Then, I realize, it's things said out of love. Or what we (the older generation of the two) think is love.It's very hard for me to let Brandon make his own mistakes.
On the other hand, I found that no matter how much my Mom literally cried and begged me to get clean, she doesn't necessarily like all of the changes in me. I set boundaries today. Early in my Recovery, before Mom got sick and was still able to come to my home, I would give in to things, like I did in the past. Example, if I moved my furniture around and was so excited about how much I like it, Mom would say,"Oh, I just don't like it this way, I liked it much better the other way . . . . " So, like I did in the past in order to keep the peace, I would move it back in order to please Mom. Then later, I would be so mad at myself, letting Mom run my life again once more. It's hard for our loved ones to "let go" in certain areas. They want to protect us still, they have that fear that we will go back out. Only time will tell, not words.
Finally, treasure your Grams being the firecracker it sounds like she is. My Mom's health is really bad and I find myself being her Parent now. How I wish I still had her telling me that even though I got the purse on sale, I bought it at the wrong Walmart. lol I think your Gram has seen the changes and growth in you. She has to be so very proud. Ok, you hit a snag a week or two ago, but no one is perfect. If they were , they sure wouldn't be here on SR reaching out.
I love your ability to come on here and share so openly on here.
God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy:ghug3
I think your Gram and my Mom are related.lol In more ways than one.
I've came to the conclusion that older folks all think that they know what's best for the generations following them. I see this in how my Mom is with me and how I swore I would never, ever say and do things like my Mom did/does when I became a Mother. Then, much to my horror, I hear my Moms voice come out of my mouth! At times I think I need to spin around and try to catch the ventriloquist who is putting Mom's words in my mouth. My Son will look at me and sigh loudly and say,"Mom, you sound just like Grandma." NOOOOO! Then, I realize, it's things said out of love. Or what we (the older generation of the two) think is love.It's very hard for me to let Brandon make his own mistakes.
On the other hand, I found that no matter how much my Mom literally cried and begged me to get clean, she doesn't necessarily like all of the changes in me. I set boundaries today. Early in my Recovery, before Mom got sick and was still able to come to my home, I would give in to things, like I did in the past. Example, if I moved my furniture around and was so excited about how much I like it, Mom would say,"Oh, I just don't like it this way, I liked it much better the other way . . . . " So, like I did in the past in order to keep the peace, I would move it back in order to please Mom. Then later, I would be so mad at myself, letting Mom run my life again once more. It's hard for our loved ones to "let go" in certain areas. They want to protect us still, they have that fear that we will go back out. Only time will tell, not words.
Finally, treasure your Grams being the firecracker it sounds like she is. My Mom's health is really bad and I find myself being her Parent now. How I wish I still had her telling me that even though I got the purse on sale, I bought it at the wrong Walmart. lol I think your Gram has seen the changes and growth in you. She has to be so very proud. Ok, you hit a snag a week or two ago, but no one is perfect. If they were , they sure wouldn't be here on SR reaching out.
I love your ability to come on here and share so openly on here.
God Bless & Thank God . . . Just for Today,
Judy:ghug3
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