Master G

:ghug3:ghug3:ghug3

ROFL

Don't give up on this site. You may not have gotten the answers you were hoping for, in fact, it seems you got some answers that you didn't like very much. I understand that - I got lots that I didn't like at first too. But you will find support here. Don't give up on yourself or on the caring of others.

tay-lyn

Please don't abandon this route for support. I have read the replies to your post and can understand why you may feel somewhat 'put off' by the replies you received. I can see through your eyes how you would feel that way. I can also see through 'our eyes', that everyone here is just trying to get a bit more information from you so that we can support you. Your last post was very informative. You really reached out and expressed how you're feeling.
I can relate to the things you said:
I'm destroying myself, for reasons unknown. I don't appreciate the things I have anymore and I don't know why.
I get this. I was doing the same. Destroying myself and my life. I couldn't figure out why. I thought all the things I HAD should have made me happy and they didn't. WHY NOT???? That just made me more and more frustrated. If the things I had were not going to make me happy, then what would. I really couldn't figure out why I was throwing it all away.

I don't know why I'm missing being on drugs; I don't know why I associate that with having fun
You THINK you associate it with fun. Perhaps you associate it with escaping reality, which in turn makes you feel relaxed, which you mistake for 'fun'. I did the same. I THOUGHT my drinking was fun. But in the end, I hated the drink. I would be begging myself not to drink while I was pouring a drink. It was nowhere near 'fun' at the end.

do I need to figure out what help I need in order to ask for it? I mean, yes, I have problems with alcohol, drugs, maybe decision-making and self-esteem and more.
You don't need to know EXACTLY what help to ask for, you just need to know that you need some kind of help and start there, like you've already done by coming here and opening up to others. All of us here suffer from addiction, all of us for different reasons, but we all have 'addiciton' in common so we can all help each other.

I don't want people to know what I do or what I've done, it's too sad and too stupid - I don't want people to judge me. And I'm afraid to tell anyone how I feel because I feel like I always have to justify and validate everything.
I wasn't ready to share with anyone in my life that I wanted/needed help. But guess what....everyone already knew it. We're so used to justifying and validating our addiction and consequent behaviour that we carry that through to our sobriety, but you don't have to. I am JUST starting to realize that I don't owe anyone continuous explainations about why I am doing this or that. I am my own person. I own myself. I don't owe anyone validation of myself. But that comes in time. I'm just scratching the tip of the iceberg with that.

it would just be nice to have someone else care...... to be able to express my feelings to another person without the fear of him/her telling me I should or shouldn't feel that way or why I do, maybe just not say anything and give me a hug... wow, that would be neat.
Sometimes we have to tell people what we need. Perhaps the people around you are used to you seeming as thought you DON'T need hugs or support. "We teach people how to treat us". So sometimes, we need to tell others exactly what we need. Nothing wrong in that.

I really hope you stick around. You can find great support and help here if you just reach out and ask for it. And sometimes you have to take deep breaths when reading responses you don't like. During our recovery, we all hear things that gets our backs up. You take what you need and leave the rest.

Tay.

Oh ya, and here's a hug We all need a hug sometimes!

warrens

WYO

I'm asking that you continue to read and post on this site. Right now you have that"deer in the headlights look," and stuff is coming at you 150 miles/hr.

Relax, take a slow deep breath, and exhale. No one here is trying to tell you what to do or not to do. This is a SUPPORT group.

I think you may have missed some of the hugs you have received here. And I wouldn't disagree that you may need something else in addition.

Our minds are a mess when most of us come here. All kinds of defense mechanisms, etc are reacting wildly.

Give it a chance. There are many relationships to strike up here. Today is my 20th day and I have to clear out my personal message box nearly every day. I get so many hugs here I have broken ribs.

Your post received the feedback it did because you seemed to confuse your disease with something else. Experienced people wished to point that out.

None of us will get well with a closed heart. We may have gotten into this crap ourselves, but nothing we have done ourselves has gotten us out. You can take the controls of an aircraft, but that doesn't mean you can fly it.

Here's a hug. A big one...

C'mon y'all, show WYO that we can hug. Perhaps we didn't do a good enough job in your case.

This place has helped greatly in saving my butt. Clear and simple. And I am a tough one. Maybe tougher than you. Please give us and yourself a chance.

PEACE and SERENITY,

warrens