New and scared
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Originally Posted by ACHMS72 
Hi everyone. I am a woman in her 40s and I have decided to get sober. I have used alcohol to self-medicate for about 10 years now, and it isn't working. I am so scared right now because I am afraid I can't do it. I was sober the last time for 30 days, one bad day came along and boom--I hit the bottle again and just gave up. I don't even know what to write here--my mind is just a big blank and my spirit feels somewhat dead.
I hope to find hope here.
I hope to find hope here.
Medicator here...One of the really bad things with my addiction is that alcohol WAS a good medicine. For a while. Gave me peace and serenity (sorry) from a crazy stressed career and 3 teenagers and whatever was going on at the time. Good stuff!
Well, I don't need to elaborate what everyone here already knows, including you. What happened...
But I do think the relapsed addict sometimes has an advantage. We've seen the sun and then it went away again. And we caused it to go away. Duh! But at least we saw it. And we know why it is gone. Cause and effect, right? So we've "tested" our experiment and instead of wine it came out vinegar. 'Nuff said about that, I think. You have more hard knowledge now that you have had at any other time in your life, no? I sure do.
I suspect most people come here with a dead spirit. I did. We have the cure for that, as you will see. i assuming that by coming, registering, and writing, the you have either committed or are on the verge. Big step.
You will find, as I have, that this is a safe, caring place. And you are most welcome here.
warrens
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: .
Posts: 299
Hi ACHMS72,
welcome onboard. Alcoholism is a scary condition to have - I well remember weeks, months, years when I thought "I'm just completely f***ed. I am doomed to this thing. I cannot STOP no matter what I do. I will go mad. I am going mad. I am going out of my mind." I would have these thoughts as I poured another drink for myself, rolling down the hill yet again. I tried and failed and made resolutions so many dozens of times.
But somehow I did stop, with the support of people, in AA and on these boards, and other friends and loved ones too. It is possible! But you should reach out for as much support as you can get.
welcome onboard. Alcoholism is a scary condition to have - I well remember weeks, months, years when I thought "I'm just completely f***ed. I am doomed to this thing. I cannot STOP no matter what I do. I will go mad. I am going mad. I am going out of my mind." I would have these thoughts as I poured another drink for myself, rolling down the hill yet again. I tried and failed and made resolutions so many dozens of times.
But somehow I did stop, with the support of people, in AA and on these boards, and other friends and loved ones too. It is possible! But you should reach out for as much support as you can get.
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