pgreer3708

Hi All! Thanks for being here!! I am having a problem with how people have said to me "You didn't drink that much" or in a situation when I want to drink now "You didn't drink like that before" people in my life outside AA seem to want to tell me what I was and how I drank! I know it is silly and I need to let go but damn it is making me mad. I hid my stuff pretty well and no one knows exactly what I did but me and in certain situuations it is tough for me! Why do I really care? Why does this bother me?

Tazman53

pgreer try not to let other people live in your head rent free, only you know the truth about you.

Does it really matter what others say about how you used to drink?

Not being familiar with your story I can only see this from mine, only my immediate family knew I had a drinking problem, but they had no idea how much I drank, I have discussed it with them since I sobered up honestly and they can not fathom how someone could drink that uch, but in reality what other people thought about how much or how little I drank had nothing to do with me deciding that I had drank enough, that I was going to die if I kept on drinking. I decided when to stop drinking on my own without others input even though my wife had a lot of input about it until the end when she threw in the towel and was in the process of taking the kids and leaving my drunk butt!!!

bval

It bothers you because your DISEASE hears these words from other people and starts screaming at you in your head "SEE!!! You CAN drink! Listen to THEM, they KNOW what they're talking about, you're FINE to drink!".

One of the key things about recovering long-term is learning to recognize the voice of the disease, and learning how to laugh at it's silly little ploys. This is most definitely one of many in it's arsenal. Don't LISTEN!!!

The real you knows what it needs to do. You disease, and these other people who don't really know you and what you do when you're not around them, they don't know **** my friend.

Keep posting, keep going to meetings, Talk to, and more importantly LISTEN to the people in AA, especially the old-timers ... they KNOW what they're talking about when it comes to sobriety.

Anna

I hid my drinking too, pretty well, I thought. But, I knew I had to stop and it wouldn't have mattered what anybody said. I knew what a mess I was. Follow through with what you believe and stay focused.

Debaucher

That stuff gets me mad too. Part of it for me is that it was sooooooo very hard for me to accept that I am an alcoholic to have someone question it just gets me irritated because I just don't want to open up that internal debate.

It's like ... hey I had this conversation once before and it is a sucky argurment... I don't want to have it again so please don't make me go there...

For me I have resigned myself to the idea that they are free to think that... and who am I to make them think otherwise. I know that it doesn't matter what label I put on it (alcoholic, heavy drinker, etc... ) as long as I admit I cannot safely take a drink.

Just don't fight the fight... let them think what they want.

hairgirl

I totally understand.I have fought with this myself.I have had loved ones ask me why I don't drink because I never had a problem with it, just drugs.I found that I started to feel the same, and soon my poisoned brain was starting to think it would be OK to drink socially.I get mad at them and then I get mad I can't drink, etc. etc.
I keep going back and reading my recovery books.I always find an answer, like this one,"Denial protects us from seeing what our lives truly had become." I know how obsessive this disease makes me, and I know there is always room to do more damage, so I just erase those thoughts, and move forward.I have to completely saturate myself in a program of recovery or I will fail.
Let it go or it will be the reason you falter.Keep speaking to people who have been there, and go to mtgs, or read.It will be better if you try something new.

Justme57

Just tell them you have developed an allergy to it, which is true.

How important is it ?................ not very LOL

HUGX
Leigh

Jersey Nonny

When I wound up in detox, my Mom said to my Sister, "Thank goodness she's doing something about her problem." A couple of years later, after staying sober through AA, Mom said, "You're not really an alcoholic...you just drank a little too much." Funny how people's memories fade after a while.

Anyway, the only one who has to be convinced of my alcoholism is me!

Tisa2U

barb dwyer

hi pgreer -

Yeah, that happened up here a good bit too.
I think the biggest reason is - if you go away-
Who're they gonna drink with -and/or - make money off of?

When we're still inside the disease - we need others to look like we do.
Otherwise - the TRUTH ... might show istelf.
And truth ... is what we're running from.

BUt more often -
with me personally -
when something is 'bugging' me like that - I have to get into myself -
and see where the lie within ME is.
Because that's where I'm stepping OUT of alignment with The Infinite.
(God/Good)
WHen I get that feeling - that is where HP wants me to be working.
Because it's pointing right at ... the lie.

And it's pointing right to ... what's going to make me drink again.

Finally; it takes some time to learn not to let those still IN the disease, or even those who NEED us to stay the same ... make our images of ourselves.
We're sober. That's our new job. Letting HP show us who we can become.
They just want us to stay the way we always were.
They're not evil or anything dramatic like that ... they just don't know any better.

SaTiT

another reason why it bothers you is becuase if you're
new to getting sober..you're still detoxing and trying
to make changes in your life..Changes stress most people out.
A combination of withdraws. So your fuse is a little bit short.

Are you sure it's a resentment or you're just angery.
it's okay to feel your emotions, it's okay to feel anger..

If you don't feel it or deny it...you're either going to
stuff it...Getting numb or drunk or you'll turn into a walking
time bomb..Then it turns into a resenment.
if you stuff it...it turns into depression.

i don't know...I got clean and sober..And somewhere alone the line
I'm going FEEL my emotions.lol

anyway..i was at RAGE in early soberiety .lol
Becuase those emotions are sharper and jumps out at us.
So we lactch on to them..then if you turn it inward..you'll
get a mindstroms with a lot renters ...i guess.
Sereen..is softer, cooler ...some get bored becuase there peace.lol

I spent a lot of time out in nature so i wouldn't hurt myself
or anyone. I was process and rekeasing my emotions in a safe enviorment.
I can scream at the top of my lungs with people going wack.lol

I don't know... in my course of miracle book.
there's an excersize...to get me all spiritaul and stuff.lol
it gose something like this.

I'm angery at ____________ because dumb shiet did stupid shiet :rof
It's just releasing my anger without hurting anyone.

anyway..i didn't take myself too seriousely in early soberiety
Hell...i don't even take myself too seriousely now...
seriousely, I'm seriouse about my program and staying sober.