barb dwyer

ok - here's the other post it note - put on the OTHER side of the toilet on the floor -

You ... are not alone. You never have to feel like this ... again.

starlite dawn

I tried to edit to add but I'm not real good at this but...........

Man, I got a disabled son that needs me. Needs me bad. Has to have me. What willl he do if I'm gone and I AM gonna be gone if I continue this path. I took it for so long that I'm gonna be gone soon, then what?

What is the heck is wrong with a mom that chooses liquor over her child?

Oh and the lost days. Man I hate that so bad. Drink today, can't function tomorrow. Lay in bed all day.

Drink the next day and start all over, can't function.

I so hate this life but I choose to do it, me, nobody but me!

Why?

CarolD

Dawn...
My family are grown
they don't need me.

I can't work due to my health
I am losing my sight.

I stay sober to do as God directs me
to help others and honor His gift of life.

Thank you for allowing me to share with you.

starlite dawn

Carol

*TEARS*

I am sorry. I have so very much and I'm just throwin' it away. Willingly, on my own. I hate me so freakin' bad I can't stand it.

Carol, might I ask, is your story here somewhere. Can I read about you?

barb dwyer

We don't drink because of people. Events. Circumstances. Omens. Portents.

We drink because we're alcoholics.

It's truly that simple.

You don't drink because your son needs you.

You drink because you're probably an alcoholic.

Alcohol ... doen't 'erase' anything. It doesn't help. It doesn't 'make' anything better.

It makes it worse.
Every.
Single.
Time.

When we put it away...
when we make the decision to try something different ...
something happens.
something ... wonderful.
Every.
Single.
Time.

I wish that ... for you.
I just went outside... and said a prayer,
beneath the full moon here hanging like a ballroom mirror
in the Big Sky of Montana.

It began to snow.
Something ... is happening.
Something ... amazing.
This is more than just a thread.
I can 'feel' it.

I have great hope for you SD.

Others ... are probably also saying prayers for you.

RK2007

Hey Starlight Dawn, nice name.

I was in the same boat not long ago, and I found here out of luck and sheer desperation.

I had a couple of hiccups when I began posting here, but I've been sober now since 19th October - which is quite good going for me.

But it's different this time.

Best thing you can do is go to see your doc. Honestly, I was scared for so long to go - it is the best thing I ever done.

They won't make you do anything you don't want to do, they can prescribe stuff to help you get off the drink, they can network you with as much help as you feel you are ready to accept (sounds like you are ready to accept some help) - and it works if you stick at it.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Do it for you, and also for your son.

ccirider

Welcome Starlite Dawn:

You are geeting some good advice here, and I would echo what everybody is saying. Your situation sounds desperate. You might want to get yourself into rehab ASAP.


Peace.

ccirider

You need you. You need to make this about yourself and do it for yourself. It sounds selfish, but it's not. You need to become the most important person in your life.

Peace.

CarolD

Yes Dawn...
My recovery story is in our Story Forum

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...hlight=Carol+D.

and
I also have a leter part here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...Fantastic+Life

Thank you for asking

lostmdboy

You need to find a way. If you put half the effort in to recovery that you put into drinking it will be easy. If you are not sober you will not be any good to anyone. Your first step I would think is to go see a doctor, and be completely honest with them. If you keep drinking the way you are. You will die!!!

GrouchoTheCat

Lets see,

You can't pee and you're throwing up blood.

Any normal somewhat sane person would be in the emergency room by now.

That is where you need to be.

Just a suggestion...

swmnkdinthervr

Dawn...I hope you take a look here and follow up...it appears there are several groups around the Roanoke area that meet day and night, I'll post the list below but you'll need to contact these folks for a more complete list of times, dates and phone numbers.

Roanoke Valley Intergroup
3451 Brandon Avenue SW
Suite 14
Roanoke, Virginia 24018
(540) 343-6857
aaroanoke.org

Central
Rear of 1910 Memorial Ave

Trinity Lutheran Church
4040 Williamson Road

St. Phillips Lutheran Church
Rt. 11 near Hollins College

Ebenezer Church
Lafayette Blvd. and Cove Road

Seneca Baptist Church
Elliston Straightaway

Windsor Hills United Methodist Church
3591 Mudlick Road

Parkway Wesleyan Church
3230 King Street (off 460 east)

Metaphysical Chapel
1488 Peters Creek Road, NW

Rebos Center
4231 Garst Mill Road, SW

Christ Lutheran Church
Brandon Avenue and Grandin Road, SW

St. Thomas Church
Hershberger Road and Hubert Road

South Roanoke United Methodist Church
2330 S. Jefferson Street

Bethlehem United Methodist Church
Route 122, Moneta

St. Mark's Episcopal Church
Fincastle

Senior Citizens' Center
110 Union Street, Salem

Veterans Administration Hospital
Building 9 (second floor), Salem

Mount Regis Treatment Center
405 Kimble Ave., Salem

mikel60

Hi Dawn,
I think you really should get to the hospital. After that...Stick with Barb and Carol. They are two of the wisest people on this site.

See... I was gonna post some sage advice about how I put the alcohol down 11 years ago... I'm a big AA hero around my hometown.. quit drinking... changed my life.. 12 steps...married now... 2 kids... back in school... you're worth it... all that stuff.

My reality? I am sober and all of the above is true... but I may well be eating myself to death. I'm diabetic and my BG levels regularly run over 300. That's real high for those who don't know. I'm struggling with this. I have two very young children (Sheila- 3 and Liam - 1), a good job, a wonderful wife, am moving into the research phase of my doctoral studies...everything to live for... but am screwing it up royally.

Why am I posting this here? Here's the deal... you quit drinking and I'll stop the madness with the food...no sugar, no white bread... exercise every day.

Sounds a little goofy right? Well. whatever it takes. I'm starting right now.

Get thee to the emergency... and then let us know how you're doing.

Mike

ccirider

Hi Mike:

Thanks for sharing your story. I have a similar story so I can relate to what you are saying. We have to address the underlying feelings that our feeding our addiction, otherwise we are just going to substitute one addiction for another. Carnie Wilson, the celebrity who became a spokesperson for gastric bypass surgery, had a secret she carried around after she had her surgery and lost weight: she became an alcoholic.

Peace.

starlite dawn

I just wanted to give you all a "heart felt" thank you from the bottom of heart for your words of kindness and wisdom. I have an appointment with a Dr. on Dec. 6.

I know I need help. The "self loathing" alone indicates help needed plus I got some physical issues.

I don't fully understand the "acholic" thing.

Does this mean I have an issues or problem that I can't overcome without help? Maybe this "acholic" thing is more than I understand. Obviously it is.

Can you enlighten me on this issue?

Most appreciate for all of you help, care and concern.

Thank you so very much,
Starlite Dawn

Anna

Hi Dawn,

I am so glad that you have called a dr and are seeking his advice. That's a great thing to do.

Alcoholism means that you can never drink alcohol. You can stop drinking and begin to move forward in recovery. I found that stopping drinking was only the beginning because like you, I hated myself and I sure had to do some work on that. I don't know if anyone can get sober completely on their own. Maybe some do. I am not an AA person, but I use SR and have for years. It inspires me all the time. The main thing is to do what works for you and begin to live a sober life.

CarolD

Glad to see you are here again!

I am proud to see you are going to a doctor.

Blessings to you and your family

gypsytears

Hi Starlight Dawn . You have gotten such good advice from everyone so far. Please add me to the chorus of support you have here. You are not alone .

starlite dawn

Why do I feel so very alone?

Not a good feelin', not a good feelin' at all.

Pinkcuda

Probably because you're having a fallout with your best friend. It's not cutting it for you anymore. Keep posting and you'll find some better friends here. You will be reasurred that 1. You are not alone, 2. There is help, 3.Things will improve in your life and 4. Self will isn't working anymore and you need to put your faith in a higher power.
Set your sights on what you want and don't ever lose faith. Things are going to be O.K.