Ali

Hello all. I'm Ali, and for several years I've been struggling with an addiction to alcohol. 2007 was going to be the year when I got to grips with it. Limited success: I've managed not to drink for several periods of a week or more and no longer feel any pressure to drink socially. However, I still drink heavily at home and the quantity is increasing. The situation is adversely affecting my work, health and finances, and clearly the only real option is to stop drinking altogether.

I've been lurking on this site for a little while and have been really inspired by the folks on here who are supporting each other to get clean and stayed clean. Mind if I join you?

Anna

Hi Ali,

Welcome!

It sounds like you were trying to moderate your drinking, and that can be such a frustrating exercise. I was actually relieved to stop trying to do that. I drank at home alone too, hiding as much as possible. We do understand and I hope you keep posting.

Ghostlight

Hi Ali!

I hope you find this a supportive place. Moderation always failed me. It's all or nothing for me. Took me twenty years to figure that out.

I'm only on day three after my latest relapse. I hope you can spare yourself the misery I've gone through trying to control my drinking.

Welcome, and best wishes,

Ghost

windsurfer33

Hi Ali,
I know where you are coming from!! It has taken me an age to realise that I can`t moderate my drinking. It starts ok, then a few days later you go out for some occasion and get so drunk you can`t remember anything, then it`s back to square one of saying "oh I need to cut down". I was sick of that happening to me all the time, so I`m trying the no more at all road. It`s early days, 13 to be exact, but as well as finding it hard, I`m finding that drinking is no longer an issue. I use to always get taxis out for meals and even the cinema so that I could have a drink. But now I don`t worry about that, as I know I`m not drinking. That coupled with the fact that I have had the best weekend I can remember with my son, as I wasn`t feeling ill on saturday morning when I pick him up, tops it for me. Keep trying Ali, it is far from easy, but millions of people don`t drink and you can be one of them. Take care

ccirider

Welcome Ali:

Pull up a chair around the warm fire and take your jacket off. Welcome to the crazy world of addiction. We want to stop abusing ourselves, but we don't want to stop abusing ourselves. What is going on in our heads and hearts is insane, but it doesn't stop there. We bring insanity to our spouses, our children, our extended families, our neighbors, our coworkers, our communities, our country, and finally, to the whole world. It's a ripple effect that begins with us and then emanates outward from us.

We have been told that whatever we do in the privacy of our own homes is our own business and that we have a right to do whatever we want as long as we don't bring harm to someone else. The truth is that we don't have a right to abuse ourselves in the privacy of our own homes, and the reality is that if we do abuse ourselves in private, we will abuse others in public.

The ripple effect begins with us and emanates outward from us, and just as we brought insanity to so many around us, when we recover and heal, we can bring sanity to those same people we used to drive crazy. It all starts with us. Are we bringing sanity to an insane world, or are we merely making our contribution of insanity to an already insane world?

As addicts, we are in a very difficult situation because our craziness drives people away from us at a time that we need others the most. We are here for you, Ali, and by being here for you, we are actually here for ourselves. Welcome to our world Ali.

Diver Down

Best of luck to you Ali, moderation never worked for me. I just ended up laying off the booze for a couple of days before getting smashed at the weekend.

Ali

Thank you everyone. You are the first people to whom I've ever admitted having a problem with alcohol, and it's a huge relief to know that you understand.

Captain Kirk

Of course not: the more the merrier!
Welcome and congratulations on your first Day.
If you've been lurking on here for a while I'm sure you'll already had of noticed that the people on here are really great and often have allot of good advice to share too.
Do let us know how you're getting on.
Good luck!

stone

Hi and welcome Ali, I am from the UK too. 8

dave47

Welcome Ali,your story sounds all too familiar.Plenty of support and advice for you here,best wishes.

Rowan

Very glad to have you join us, Ali.

Aysha

Hi Ali..Glad you found us too....
Stay awhile..

CarolD

Hi Ali...Welcome!

I suggest you...and our other newer sober members ...
go over to our Alcoholism Forum too.

The sticky post there have interesting information

Forward we go...side by side

Justme57

Hi Ali

Welcome to SR

I tried moderation for 37 years , and like you i ended up drinking at home , with the quantity increasing all the time .

You see, Alcoholism is a PROGRESSIVE disease , and it WILL get worse .

So glad you joined us , this is a great supportive site .

HUGX
Leigh

Ali

Thanks again. Day 2...bit of a wobble walking past the station off-licence after work, but otherwise OK - went for a swim this evening by way of distraction and feel relaxed now. It's so good to be able to come on here and reinforce my resolve!

Rowan

Hi Ali,

Welcome to day 2 - it's good to see you checking in. Swimming is great - relaxes you and gives you a great workout. What plans do you have to stay sober? Do you have a counsellor or therapist? Do you have a supportive family or friends?
Please continue to check in here and feel free to post on other threads. Also, as Carol mentioned, if you go to the Alcoholism forum, up at the top there are what we call 'Stickys' which have some great info on alcoholism. Check for the one 'Under the Influence'.
Keep posting!

Ali

Hi Rowan I've been toddling around the forum and have had a good read of the 'What To Expect' thread.

My plans for the moment are to try to fill my old drinking time with other things that I enjoy/are good for me mentally and physically (cooking, swimming, studying) and to shamelessly lean on this site and you guys on it for support and inspiration. It's making a difference already - the prospect of being able to come on here and see what others in a similar situation have done/are doing has helped me to cope with the after-work vodka cravings today.

Do you mind me asking: what worked for you?

Rowan

Hi again Ali

I go to AA, and I also attend regular relapse prevention sessions which is group therapy where we talk about addiction and coping methods.
I walk my dogs a lot, as exercise helps my mood, and I like being out in nature.
I also do a lot of reading about addiction and recovery and spirituality, and I come to this website every single day. Talking to other alcoholics is every helpful for all of us - though our experiences may be different, our disease is the same.

Rella927

Welcome to SR Ali!

Glad to see that you have joined us and that you are posting on a daily basis-SR is a great place and so glad that you are here!

littlefish

Welcome to SR! I know for a fact that if it wasn't for SR, I would not have been able to quit this summer, for the first time in 25 years. I did unfortunately relapse when I had a disastrous day of 2 personal crisis, but got up, dusted myself off and had another period of sobriety. Yes, I am going through the relapse tango, but the positive thing is that I am managing more and more periods of sobriety. Which amazes me because I never thought I could achieve it. Even for one day.

I do have a plan, I didn't have one when I started out. That is one of the many things I have learned from the forum: you need a plan for sobriety. I have learned a huge amount from this forum!

I'm going to my first AA meeting as soon as I get back from an upcoming holiday.