Please read - I need your help ...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi Barb.
I am sorry to be late. I have been away from the forum for a while.
All my love is going out to you at this sad time.
I wish you had had more time together but while she was with you she was so loved. She was happy in her lifetime thanks to you.
I am sorry to be late. I have been away from the forum for a while.
All my love is going out to you at this sad time.
I wish you had had more time together but while she was with you she was so loved. She was happy in her lifetime thanks to you.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: California
Posts: 22
Barb ~ I am so sorry to hear about Beloved, I know I would be devastated if anything happened to my baby boy Bender, he has been my guiding light through my sobriety, he came into my life 2 months after becoming sober 8 years ago. Please hang in there.
From my kitty Bender to you.
From my kitty Bender to you.
same planet...different world
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
..Wow.
Um, I mean ... wow.
I'm kinda quiet (for ME, that is) these days ...
it's wierding everyone around me out.
Your words ... thoughts, compassion... prayers .....
I'm overwhelmed, y'all.
I know ... I don't know how to do this ... sober.
But I'm sticking to the first three steps ...
letting emotions .. flow (or gush) as they come for now ...
and I pray.
Well, emotions tend to gush ... or I just .. 'cave in' for a while.
I don't know what's 'normal' about it ... I truly don't.
I'm not 'normal' so what the heck do I care what the 'normal' way of grieving is?
But I'm not harming myself.
I didn't drink.
(thought about it)
I didn't use.
(thought about it)
I DID ... smoke - but only for the one day.
(tobacco - geyah) LOL
So I'm back to day... three now.
Starting day four.
Thank you all... so much ... for making my Beloved ... her passing ... what you have.
Her little short life ... saved mine.
Her love ... saved me.
I needed it to make a difference.
I needed it to matter ... a lot.
Thank you for helping that happen.
If it's all the same to everyone -
I'm gonna continue to pray about this,
and maybe wrie more later.
I'm in a 'quiet' place, spiritually ...
and when I feel I've got something to share,
you can trust (tongue in cheek there ) that I will.
Thank you all again so very much ...
for your posts ...
and for your PM's....
I printed them.
So I can read them on these next few days off.
Then they'll go into my portfolio.
Thank you.
deb
Um, I mean ... wow.
I'm kinda quiet (for ME, that is) these days ...
it's wierding everyone around me out.
Your words ... thoughts, compassion... prayers .....
I'm overwhelmed, y'all.
I know ... I don't know how to do this ... sober.
But I'm sticking to the first three steps ...
letting emotions .. flow (or gush) as they come for now ...
and I pray.
Well, emotions tend to gush ... or I just .. 'cave in' for a while.
I don't know what's 'normal' about it ... I truly don't.
I'm not 'normal' so what the heck do I care what the 'normal' way of grieving is?
But I'm not harming myself.
I didn't drink.
(thought about it)
I didn't use.
(thought about it)
I DID ... smoke - but only for the one day.
(tobacco - geyah) LOL
So I'm back to day... three now.
Starting day four.
Thank you all... so much ... for making my Beloved ... her passing ... what you have.
Her little short life ... saved mine.
Her love ... saved me.
I needed it to make a difference.
I needed it to matter ... a lot.
Thank you for helping that happen.
If it's all the same to everyone -
I'm gonna continue to pray about this,
and maybe wrie more later.
I'm in a 'quiet' place, spiritually ...
and when I feel I've got something to share,
you can trust (tongue in cheek there ) that I will.
Thank you all again so very much ...
for your posts ...
and for your PM's....
I printed them.
So I can read them on these next few days off.
Then they'll go into my portfolio.
Thank you.
deb
same planet...different world
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
oh!
Poppy ... is having as hard a time as me, I think. The first couple of days, I had to continually let her out on each porch ... so she could see for herself that Beloved wasn't accidentally locked out there.
She still walks through the apartment, calling her sister.
The first 48 hours - I was fairly certain I wasn't going to be able to get through that.
Had it not been for my friends in the Fellowship,
and my friends who called me from SR ...
I may well not have made it.
This morning - I actually woke up - sat up - looked at Poppy ...
And she looked back at at me -
I said -
"Something ... is different today."
And it has been.
I still 'cave' ... I just did typing this ...
but I know it passes.
That's going to have to do for now.
Poppy - is going to stay with me.
We need each other.
Poppy ... is having as hard a time as me, I think. The first couple of days, I had to continually let her out on each porch ... so she could see for herself that Beloved wasn't accidentally locked out there.
She still walks through the apartment, calling her sister.
The first 48 hours - I was fairly certain I wasn't going to be able to get through that.
Had it not been for my friends in the Fellowship,
and my friends who called me from SR ...
I may well not have made it.
This morning - I actually woke up - sat up - looked at Poppy ...
And she looked back at at me -
I said -
"Something ... is different today."
And it has been.
I still 'cave' ... I just did typing this ...
but I know it passes.
That's going to have to do for now.
Poppy - is going to stay with me.
We need each other.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Barb 
Healing thoughts to you! Check out that site I mailed to you-
It is hard when to see our furry children go but we will be together again someday!
Healing thoughts to you! Check out that site I mailed to you-
It is hard when to see our furry children go but we will be together again someday!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Barb -
I'm glad you checked in....been praying for you. I'm sure Poppy is going thru her own grief, but as someone who once had 6 cats (and now have 4) I've seen that as long as the survivor knows they are loved, they do okay. You and Poppy will help each other get thru this.
Hugs and prayers!!
Amy
I'm glad you checked in....been praying for you. I'm sure Poppy is going thru her own grief, but as someone who once had 6 cats (and now have 4) I've seen that as long as the survivor knows they are loved, they do okay. You and Poppy will help each other get thru this.
Hugs and prayers!!
Amy
Next stop: real life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 990
Thanks for checking in, hon. I was thinking of you. It's a blessing that you and Poppy have each other right now. 
She's never known a life away from her sister, so it is going to be hard--But she's got you to get her through this, and vice versa.
(We have a Poppy, too--same age, even! Ours is a pup, though.)
She's never known a life away from her sister, so it is going to be hard--But she's got you to get her through this, and vice versa.(We have a Poppy, too--same age, even! Ours is a pup, though.)
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