nogard

what is done is done Steph, no point hanging on to that and using it as an 'excuse' to drink. Get on the phone to sponsor, members and get to a meeting. Living life on lifes terms is the biggest challenge we face and it means we need to use the tools taht we have been given until they become automatic.

Thinking of you.

Kevin
PS I see so many people go and use and drink and then see the lucky ones come back in, it does not get any better, yet by working this program it does get better day by day.

Anna

Steph, you did what you had to do and it's the right thing for you.

Stay strong and get through this!

Pinkcuda

I thought it was an established fact that nobody will quit until they're ready. Probation or not! I think this pretty much adds to the fact.
You did what you needed to do. I'm sure it was difficult but the blame only lies with one person.

parentrecovers

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.


we're listening...k

discoveringme

Steph: I agree with everyone here...you did what was necessary. I think any one of us would have known that was the right thing to do. I cant imagine how hard it must have been. You showed your strength in doing just that. The hard part may be over. Feeling guilt and shame is perpetuating the circle, just like after drinking we feel horrible and keep on drinking. Dont blow your sobriety over doing the RIGHT thing. In our past, we all did the WRONG thing many times, so doing the RIGHT thing is bound to be tough at times. We can do it! You can do it!! We stick together, you keep coming here and posting.

nogard

Hi Steph,

Cant find your No but will call if you send it to me.

Kevin

whittenboy

Hello pilgrim,
I know he was close to you as you state.
I am sorry, but you had to do what was nessisary. It took almost loosing my job to make me realize how bad my drinking was. He knew what was on the line.
He is an adult, He made the choice.
I really hope you get to feeling better. Don't quit!
I know your words have helped me.
Thank you!

citychick

100 days!! thats great news Steph.....don't throw it away on someone else's problem. If Mark wants to get sober Mark will eventually.....you keep thinking of what a great accomplishment your 100 days is.

Pilgrim

Thanks so much Dee and Anna. It's true. I am stronger but I also feel so weak and scared at the same time. I did this. I didn't drink. I decided to do something that should have been done years ago. I think I am doing things right. I guess that is strength. I prayed for help is all and I really wonder whether I got given my HP's strength at the time He thought I could handle it. I prayed for help for Mark as well. He is sick and doesn't know it. We have all been there.

At my big book meeting last night after I was him in the bar we studied pages 141 and 142. To Employers. Freaky.

You know I went to see him in the bar this afternoon (where I knew he would be). I heard all this horrible stuff about me. He said he wished he had never met me. I saw his mouth move. I saw his fury and bitterness. I listened. I guess he was just putting up a front to keep his job.

With my God's help I am ready to let this end. I hope this is my final pain with him. I hope he will be ok. I hope he makes it.

Thank you discoveringme, cmc,merlotmama, citychick and wb. Thanks for understanding. It was a very hard day and I am very very tired now so I think I will try to sleep.

Dee74

Very Proud of you Steph.
Hon, you deserve better from love.

Sleep well

D

Octoman

Hi Steph
Bit late on this one I'm afraid. Time zones

Anyway for what its worth I think you did the right thing. I genuinely do.
You have enough on your plate at the moment without having to carry someone else. He is an adult and he needs to learn to make the right decisions in life or face the consequences. It sounds like you have been facing the consequences of his bad decision for him up to this point. Thats a burden you dont need.

So glad you didnt drink. It wouldnt have helped. In fact it would have made things disproportionately worse given that it was drinkinb that you have (quite rightly) picked him up on.

This will pass and you will feel better soon.

You're doing so well

Oct

Pilgrim

Hi Dee and Octo.

Those time zones huh? I can't sleep anyway. Even tho I am shattered.

You guys are just amazing. Thank you heaps for being here for me.

A nice wee side effect is nasty phone calls and texts now. Pure poison. He has never been so attentive!!! Lol.

My sponsor has advised me not to respond at all so I have switched everything off. Did you get my text Kevin?

Your messages have made all the difference and got me through my day. I am so grateful. Thanks again and I hope and pray everyone on SR has a sober and happy day.

Rusty Zipper

steph, this is the growth, and newfound freedom thats here for the takeing...

live, and let live!

good wishes steph!

xxoo

rz

ps...

steph happy to see your really one of us...

that alk'y intuition!

indigo

I'm with all the others, you've shown strength and courage and deseve a round of applause.

dave47

Hello Steph,just to back up what others have said, you did what had to be done.We all do things we feel guilty of and many times we aren't the ones who have done anything wrong.Much as you have supported him he is responsible for his own actions,put yourself first and concentrate on your own health and recovery,best wishes.

Missymae737

Steph,

I know the pain, emptyness you have felt...I have also felt anger for being to trusting...You did the right thing but that doesn't make things all better...

Nothing, not any person justifies our need for a drink...

Congrats on your sober time...

I know you can get through this and you know what? You will be a stronger person...

Thinking of you...:praying

lostmdboy

Steph, Remember some of us are sicker then others. If it has to come down to him loosing evrything before he can sober up so be it. You did the right thing!! At this point I would try to look a year down the road, and see how things will be better. He could be sobered up , and may even thank you for the kick in the @ss that got him there. Stick to your guns, and your program.

Pilgrim

These overwhelming feelings. I woke up feeling like I had been drinking. The world seems grey and it feels like I am living in a nightmare.

But I can also feel this little part inside me that knows it will get better and I will be happier soon. I hope soon hurries up.

My 14 year old daughter put it so well. She said Mum - this is just somthing you have to feel.

When my first daughter was born, they gave me a complete epidural. Right at the end, they let it wear off. I went from nothing to end state labour agony in 10 minutes. Normies probably had practice with these feelings and they know that they are just part of living life. They learnt gradually how to handle painful feelings. This is a whole new world for me. Like when the epidural wore off.

Dee74

Yeah that's the thing Steph...we've avoided these things for so long...but they're life.
They're hard they're tough, they're sometimes cruel and unfair...

but I really believe we never get any more than we can handle.
We just sometimes *think* we can't.

I have faith in you

D

Pilgrim

All better now! Took daughter to get ball dress. We had a hoot especially with the really boofy ones. Don't have to worry about HIS drinking or whether or not he lurves me ever again. Life's good. Sigh. Mood swings!!