These dang nightmares again.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
These dang nightmares again.
Yes here I go again with all the nightmares.
They are really intense this round.
Before it was me fighting and being violent. This time it is all ghosts and demons coming after me and me looking to God to help ward them off.
These seem to be more realistic and sit longer in my mind.
You think I would get use to it. Same thing everytime...The dreams..and emotional ups and downs.
I know the drill. Hopefully this is my last starting over and having to go through this.
I know I am tired of it.
They are really intense this round.
Before it was me fighting and being violent. This time it is all ghosts and demons coming after me and me looking to God to help ward them off.
These seem to be more realistic and sit longer in my mind.
You think I would get use to it. Same thing everytime...The dreams..and emotional ups and downs.
I know the drill. Hopefully this is my last starting over and having to go through this.
I know I am tired of it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
I had a very vivid drinking/using dream last night. I woke up feeling very fogged-out, almost like a hangover.
Trish, I had to laugh in another thread when you mentioned anxiety over meetings and that you knew I was going to be all over you for that. I don't know what it's going to take for you to be ready for a meeting, but I sure hope you decide to go before it happens! I mean that in all sincerity, sweetie. If you lived closer, I would come pick you up myself and drive you to one.
But, that's the codie in me, I guess. Instead, I'll just continue to pray for you.
Trish, I had to laugh in another thread when you mentioned anxiety over meetings and that you knew I was going to be all over you for that. I don't know what it's going to take for you to be ready for a meeting, but I sure hope you decide to go before it happens! I mean that in all sincerity, sweetie. If you lived closer, I would come pick you up myself and drive you to one.
But, that's the codie in me, I guess. Instead, I'll just continue to pray for you.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I am going to get to one soon. I am so scared to go to one. I have no idea why.
Its so odd because nothing makes me nervous really. Most of you know I have a big mouth and how I am. I am like that in real life too. Not too much shakes me. But for some reason those meetings do.
I am also trying to tone my personality down alot!
I do come off way strong sometimes and it does make some people uncomfortable. I dont want people to feel like that.
I want people to like me and be able to be comfortable around me all the time.
I can be pretty intimidating with my mouth and body langiage. But that is just an old street habit I need to get rid of fast.
I want to be approachable. And get along with everyone.
Most people say they thought I was mean at first glance but when they got to know me it wasnt like that.
I dont want my first impression to be that way.
Old habits die hard. But this one I really need to get under control.
I really am a nice person. And I would do anything for anyone if I could.
I am suppose to go to treatment tomorrow or the next day. Just waiting on a bed and to reinstate my coverage.
The sooner I get in..the sooner I get out and can start working again and work toward a sober life. And get my internet back.
I'm dieing here. I hate to keep asking my aunt to use hers. But she dont care. Its those times in the middle of the night I could really use it. Boredom isnt going to get me this time. I got plenty to do ready for me.
Its so odd because nothing makes me nervous really. Most of you know I have a big mouth and how I am. I am like that in real life too. Not too much shakes me. But for some reason those meetings do.
I am also trying to tone my personality down alot!
I do come off way strong sometimes and it does make some people uncomfortable. I dont want people to feel like that.
I want people to like me and be able to be comfortable around me all the time.
I can be pretty intimidating with my mouth and body langiage. But that is just an old street habit I need to get rid of fast.
I want to be approachable. And get along with everyone.
Most people say they thought I was mean at first glance but when they got to know me it wasnt like that.
I dont want my first impression to be that way.
Old habits die hard. But this one I really need to get under control.
I really am a nice person. And I would do anything for anyone if I could.
I am suppose to go to treatment tomorrow or the next day. Just waiting on a bed and to reinstate my coverage.
The sooner I get in..the sooner I get out and can start working again and work toward a sober life. And get my internet back.
I'm dieing here. I hate to keep asking my aunt to use hers. But she dont care. Its those times in the middle of the night I could really use it. Boredom isnt going to get me this time. I got plenty to do ready for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
If ur scared ur mouth will scare them off, don't open it! LOL
I've got a great speaker on CD I'll see if I can find it online. Girl who got clean and sober around the age of 14 as I recall. She had 15 years clean at the time she was speaking at a conference. Major drug user and boozer. Talked about how tough she was, and how she came to soften up, some. Let herself be who she really was. I really think you would identify with her, Trishy.
I've got a great speaker on CD I'll see if I can find it online. Girl who got clean and sober around the age of 14 as I recall. She had 15 years clean at the time she was speaking at a conference. Major drug user and boozer. Talked about how tough she was, and how she came to soften up, some. Let herself be who she really was. I really think you would identify with her, Trishy.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Your funny there Rowan...LMAO...
I do need to do alot more listening in my life.
I am trying to soften myself up. But I dont want to get too soft.
I just dont want to come off as a big mean ole bully.
I will get there.
I do need to do alot more listening in my life.
I am trying to soften myself up. But I dont want to get too soft.
I just dont want to come off as a big mean ole bully.
I will get there.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Trish I dont know what it is, but I feel like we are on the same frequency or something. It seems like we are going through the same phases all the time. I have been having ridiculously freaky nightmares lately and it makes me not want to go to sleep. Whats up with the chasing dreams. On the nights I can get a few hours Im being chased. I wake up exhausted fall back asleep in to the same dream, and I am always being chased. I had to run from a godzilla like creature the other night and I was scaird **** when I woke up.
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