Change4life

Today make 36 days since I did coke. I still cant get a grip on the drinking, but I have cut back by more than half.

I havent been online in over a month. Sorry i havent checked in I didnt mean to make anyone worry. This time around it isnt because I have been off and running. Ive been steering clear of the toxic enviornment of my apartment as much as possible and keeping myself busy. Hanging with a friend I use to be with all the time and back to being 2 peas in a pod, as long as I keep myself clean from the drugs. being thrown back into the mainstream was a shock to my nervous system at first, but the anxiety seems to be getting better and I dont feel the need to be half in the bag when I go somewhere.

However some new problems have come to the surface and I am wondering if anyone else has had a similiar experience or if I am just losing my mind.

I dont know what the hell I am doing 1/2 the time. My memory is shot. I forget what im doing or what the last thing I did was.
I cant remember where I put anything, forgetting peoples names, screwing up at work big time. Last week I over paid one of our vendors 800 buks. I cant believe I didnt get fired, but my boss thinks Im a nit wit.
il be doing something and I panic cause all of a sudden I fel disoriented and for a brief moment im not sure where I am or what im suppose to be doing.
Theres no seperation of days for me. Everything is one big mush. Ask me what I did yesterday and I wont be able to answer cause I dont knowwhen the hell yesterday was.
i am hoping this is temporary, but I cant help thinking the drugs did some major damage.

Anna

Hi Beth,

It's really good to see you back here. I'm glad things are going well.

I make use of lists at home and at work to remind of things to do and to buy. And, I use a calender to write down appointments and dates and stuff like that. I don't depend on my memory anymore.

I don't really understand the disorientation thing you're talking about and not knowing when yesterday was. It would probably be a good idea to talk to your dr, especially if this is causing you problems at work.

Change4life

I do the list thing, but Im having trouble in normal conversations. I have to stop and think what word would be used to describe something. Or names we have for items that we take for granted I have to stop and think about before the association sets in. I can describe something but it takes me time to remember what the name for it is.

you should know by now I dont have much communication with doctors. I dont even have one to call. I asked my counselor about it, but she kinda blew me off. She was to busy with her little survey.

I thought maybe this is something associated with the chemical changes that must be going on in my brain right now. I guess I should say I am hoping thats what it is and not somethoing more serious.

The yesterday thing. What I mean is Im getting the chronology of the weeks mixed up

??????????

Dee74

I thinks it's a temporary thing Beth. I still do stupid things from time to time. But it's getting better

D

nogard

Early recovery is about getting clean from booze and drugs and focus on that. Medical problems, go to a hospital if you can't go to a Dr. You can't get a diagnosis on this forum, part of getting well is doing what it takes to look after ourselves.

I used to have an A-Z list of reasons why I would or would not do things. These days I do what needs to be done and get on with recovery and with life.

Kevin

Hope

good job on staying away from coke.
It could be the alcohol.
When I was drinking I had similar problems you described.
Alcohol causes problems in the brain the same as coke.

Both alcohol and drugs damage our brains and it takes a while for them to recover from the damage we put them through.

Luckyv2

Even after almost 15 months clean I wonder where my memory has gone LOL

I guess that I just need to be happy with what I have even if I don't like it but yeah it really sucks sometimes.

I don't write things down anymore maybe I should go back to the basics

splendra

I would think it would be safe to say that until you quit drinking that it would be hard to put a finger on your memory problem...

I am going thru menopause and although I have no hot flashes or mood swings my memory is completely shot. I guess I should be glad I don't have the other problems but, it is no fun to not even be able to call my son's name at times.

My H hasn't been using crack for about a month now and his mind seems to be amazingly razor sharp; he has fixed stuff that needed fixing for a long time and is writing some really good articles. These things take mental clarity. It is kinda gratifying on my part to see him kinda mad at himself over the way HE HAS LET THINGS GO. Somethings were costing him big money and were so easy to fix....

Change4life

Hmm I wonder if it might have to do with menopause. I thought I might be going through it a few months ago and did a test but it came up negative. Maybe I will take the test again.

Dom

I read an excellent article about the scientific reasoning for our 90 meetings in 90 days. It takes at least 3 months for the chemicals in our brains to re-adjust to normal levels. Our brains are constantly trying to balance out all the chemicals we are purposely imbalancing ourselves with. Of course alchohol is included in the list of chemicals we put into our bodies.

I have 85 days today and last week I mentioned to my Dr. why I am tired a lot. He said well, duh, your in withdrawal from heroin. I'm trying not to project and keeping my thoughts and feelings in the day. Any day that I do not drink or use, is a great day.