I'm Starting to Slip!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ballston Lake, New York
Posts: 79
I'm Starting to Slip!
Hi Guys,
Today is 12 days sober for me and my addictive mind is really wanting me to drink. I feel now, my mind does anyway, that I can have a glass or two of wine and be able to control it. I don't feel good, I'm very depressed. I know I'm early in my sobriety but I just needed to talk because I really feel as if I'm slipping back down into the bottle. I'm trying to think about all the negative consequences that have occurred when I drink but It's so weird that the consequences don't seem to bad now and that they won't happen again because I will control it. I feel like I'm all over the place with my crazy thoughts and feelings. I just feel so lonely right now. I hope I can break free from the horrible addiction. I think I will look into attending an AA meeting along with my outpatient treatment to help. Thanks for listening.
Take Care,
Theresa
Today is 12 days sober for me and my addictive mind is really wanting me to drink. I feel now, my mind does anyway, that I can have a glass or two of wine and be able to control it. I don't feel good, I'm very depressed. I know I'm early in my sobriety but I just needed to talk because I really feel as if I'm slipping back down into the bottle. I'm trying to think about all the negative consequences that have occurred when I drink but It's so weird that the consequences don't seem to bad now and that they won't happen again because I will control it. I feel like I'm all over the place with my crazy thoughts and feelings. I just feel so lonely right now. I hope I can break free from the horrible addiction. I think I will look into attending an AA meeting along with my outpatient treatment to help. Thanks for listening.
Take Care,
Theresa
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I'm trying to think about all the negative consequences that have occurred when I drink but It's so weird that the consequences don't seem to bad now and that they won't happen again because I will control it.
Since you're in outpatient, is there someone you could call right now?
Stay strong. You've made it 12 days, you can make it one more. One day at a time.
hugs.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
If you think you are going to slip, chances are you will!!! Stop thinking that way, or you will certainly sabotage your recovery!!!
That's a much healthier train of thought. Get to it...don't just think about it...do it!!! Keep us informed.
I think I will look into attending an AA meeting along with my outpatient treatment to help. Thanks for listening.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Ballston Lake, New York
Posts: 79
Hi Paperdolls,
I can't think of one day at a time. My mind always jumps to "the rest of my life" and it is such an overwhelming sad and lonely feeling. I only went to my first meeting in outpatient, so I don't know anyone yet.
Thanks,
Theresa
I can't think of one day at a time. My mind always jumps to "the rest of my life" and it is such an overwhelming sad and lonely feeling. I only went to my first meeting in outpatient, so I don't know anyone yet.
Thanks,
Theresa
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Theresa,
I didn't go to outpatient but did they give you a list with phone numbers on it? If not, look up AA in your phone book and call them. They've got meetings all the time.
You're at the right place to keep this out of your mind. I'm proud of you for posting here in stead of drinking.
I didn't go to outpatient but did they give you a list with phone numbers on it? If not, look up AA in your phone book and call them. They've got meetings all the time.
You're at the right place to keep this out of your mind. I'm proud of you for posting here in stead of drinking.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest PA USA
Posts: 339
bymyself-
Please get to a meeting. I slipped a few days ago after 3+ weeks. Went a meeting the very next day with a new resolve. I'm doing 90 meetings in 90 days, # 2 tonite.
My local group is having their anniversary and a special speaker.
At least at a meeting you'll get to talk to some people, maybe even get a phone number or two. You won't feel so lonely then.
I do understand the lonely feeling. I live by myself with no real friends outside of work. I don't like the neighbors (or they don't like me... I forget how that all goes). By going to meetings I at least feel like part of society again. And I've met some very nice folks.
Give it a try a couple times. At the very least, you can have a cup of coffee and just listen to others. I think you'll find they all have the common desire of not drinking just for today.
Blessings to you, my friend.
BHJ
Please get to a meeting. I slipped a few days ago after 3+ weeks. Went a meeting the very next day with a new resolve. I'm doing 90 meetings in 90 days, # 2 tonite.
My local group is having their anniversary and a special speaker.
At least at a meeting you'll get to talk to some people, maybe even get a phone number or two. You won't feel so lonely then.
I do understand the lonely feeling. I live by myself with no real friends outside of work. I don't like the neighbors (or they don't like me... I forget how that all goes). By going to meetings I at least feel like part of society again. And I've met some very nice folks.
Give it a try a couple times. At the very least, you can have a cup of coffee and just listen to others. I think you'll find they all have the common desire of not drinking just for today.
Blessings to you, my friend.
BHJ
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I haven't gone to very many meetings but the few I have gone to were for this very reason. You're in this room with all these people that understand you and you understand them. You're not alone.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Hi and it's good that you posted about this.
That is your addict voice talking to you and recognizing it is a bit step in dealing with it. Once you know what it is, you can put it aside and carry on. It is really hard to focus on today but, don't let yourself get overwhelmed. Things will work out.
That is your addict voice talking to you and recognizing it is a bit step in dealing with it. Once you know what it is, you can put it aside and carry on. It is really hard to focus on today but, don't let yourself get overwhelmed. Things will work out.
believer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
hey....don't you feel lonely for a minute....besides us...you have yourself...and that is an amazing reason to remember it's all about the addiction's voice trying to mess with you, like Anna said...
you are strong...!
you are strong...!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
that I can have a glass or two of wine and be able to control it.
Be very careful. It sounds to me as if you're mind is already made up. This is premediated drinking.
The depression will pass, as will the rest of the feelings. Don't drink, and get to a meetng.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 38
We are in VERY close situations. I am 14 days today. I get little panic attacks about never having another drink as long as I live. I talk myself calm & think about my main goal. Last time I was in treatment, my mind was playing tricks on me too.
"Hey, if I can go X number of days without drinking, then I don't really have a problem & then I can "train" myself to socially drink." Then all will be good.
When I did return to my habits, I went from social to spiral real quick.
I would tell myself, as long as I am at home it is ok. Nobody will get hurt & I am safe.
Well now I'm looking at my 3rd OWI. How many chances does somebody get?!
Shows you how long it took to sabotage myself.
---I feel good being able to post on here with no judging, only honest love.
---I feel OK now, but that is what did me in this last time. I hit a comfort zone. I feel OK & everything is fine....then off I go. That is why I'm going to go to a meeting tonight, even though I am feeling OK. I know I need to, no matter my state of mind.
I tell myself that I am NOT losing by not drinking, but GAINING!!!
You are not alone! Hugs-
"Hey, if I can go X number of days without drinking, then I don't really have a problem & then I can "train" myself to socially drink." Then all will be good.
When I did return to my habits, I went from social to spiral real quick.
I would tell myself, as long as I am at home it is ok. Nobody will get hurt & I am safe.
Well now I'm looking at my 3rd OWI. How many chances does somebody get?!
Shows you how long it took to sabotage myself.
---I feel good being able to post on here with no judging, only honest love.
---I feel OK now, but that is what did me in this last time. I hit a comfort zone. I feel OK & everything is fine....then off I go. That is why I'm going to go to a meeting tonight, even though I am feeling OK. I know I need to, no matter my state of mind.
I tell myself that I am NOT losing by not drinking, but GAINING!!!
You are not alone! Hugs-
Carpe Diem
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: I live by the riiiver!
Posts: 149
Theresa,
Perhaps I am only parroting what others have said but it is good advice. Do other things besides sitting there thinking about the rest of your life. You don't have control over everything in life but you do have control over whether or not you will pick up that drink. Don't do it! No matter what. Do other things, anything you like, as long as it gets you out of your head a little. Don't even do it a day at a time. Do it five minutes at a time. How long did it take you to read this? Two minutes? There, that's two minutes you're still sober. Who cares if this is hard? It is better than being dead.
Perhaps I am only parroting what others have said but it is good advice. Do other things besides sitting there thinking about the rest of your life. You don't have control over everything in life but you do have control over whether or not you will pick up that drink. Don't do it! No matter what. Do other things, anything you like, as long as it gets you out of your head a little. Don't even do it a day at a time. Do it five minutes at a time. How long did it take you to read this? Two minutes? There, that's two minutes you're still sober. Who cares if this is hard? It is better than being dead.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,240
Hi Theresa....how r u doing this evening? Were u able to make
a meeting today? If so would u like to share what u heard today?
Sometimes talking about recovery or what u heard helps
you understand a little better......
i know right now, comprehending recovery and what its all
about can be difficult....
Dont worry about that right now...all u need to do is ....
KEEP IT SIMPLE.
Keep ur life as simple as possible.
When i was fresh out of rehab my house was empty
of all alcohol temptations....
It was suggested early on that in order for me to stay
sober i had to change a few things....
Change people places and things that reminded me
of alcohol....meaning no bars where i enjoyed being
around others that drank like I....people were the ones
in the bar that i thought were my friends....things in
the way of wine bottles, glasses souviners....
Instead i was handed the tools of recovery....my
Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous....That will be
where u will find all the answers to help u learn
to stay sober....
A 12 and 12 Step Book....to explain each of the
12 steps of recovery.....
Both books r to guide u in recovery....
Thats just like going to school...u r given math
books, English, History Books and so on and
u have to have them for each class in order
to learn and pass....
And u wouldnt show up for class without them, right?
Same thing with ur AA books...tools of recovery.
For right now,,,,going thru the motions....like going
to 90 meetings in 90 days is a good way to begin....
Just go, listen and go and listen and so on for those days....
then at the end if u havent heard anything that makes
sense then they will gladly refund ur misery....
Ive also heard that getting sober certainly messes
up ones drinking career.....as it will never ever be the same....
Besides being sober can be fun....they dont want us to
be miserable recoverying alcoholics....
Grab a hold of someones coat tails and hang on for the
journey of ur life.
Thanks for letting me share.
a meeting today? If so would u like to share what u heard today?
Sometimes talking about recovery or what u heard helps
you understand a little better......
i know right now, comprehending recovery and what its all
about can be difficult....
Dont worry about that right now...all u need to do is ....
KEEP IT SIMPLE.
Keep ur life as simple as possible.
When i was fresh out of rehab my house was empty
of all alcohol temptations....
It was suggested early on that in order for me to stay
sober i had to change a few things....
Change people places and things that reminded me
of alcohol....meaning no bars where i enjoyed being
around others that drank like I....people were the ones
in the bar that i thought were my friends....things in
the way of wine bottles, glasses souviners....
Instead i was handed the tools of recovery....my
Big Book Of Alcoholics Anonymous....That will be
where u will find all the answers to help u learn
to stay sober....
A 12 and 12 Step Book....to explain each of the
12 steps of recovery.....
Both books r to guide u in recovery....
Thats just like going to school...u r given math
books, English, History Books and so on and
u have to have them for each class in order
to learn and pass....
And u wouldnt show up for class without them, right?
Same thing with ur AA books...tools of recovery.
For right now,,,,going thru the motions....like going
to 90 meetings in 90 days is a good way to begin....
Just go, listen and go and listen and so on for those days....
then at the end if u havent heard anything that makes
sense then they will gladly refund ur misery....
Ive also heard that getting sober certainly messes
up ones drinking career.....as it will never ever be the same....
Besides being sober can be fun....they dont want us to
be miserable recoverying alcoholics....
Grab a hold of someones coat tails and hang on for the
journey of ur life.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 48
Although I'm one to talk at 4 days and also slipping into the pit when I quit smoking cigs I heard something helpful: the urge will pass whether you drink or not. Make something immediate and concrete your higher power-something that will help you through this, or get you back into the rooms. Wishing you peace and that the craving will be removed.
Another Day in Paradise
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upland, CA
Posts: 900
Theresa,
Just a couple of things to consider.
Several of the previous posts have mentioned an AA meeting. If not because you think the folks in the meeting have any wisdom or even that AA is for you, it has been my experience that I have never had a drink while in a meeting. It is after all SOMTHING TO DO. It will just keep you occupied. I went to far more meeting in my first year because I wanted to drink more than I really wanted to go to that meeting.
Regarding "not drinking for the rest of my life." I spent several years getting ready to quit and I always decided to QUIT TOMORROW. Since I have been sober I have always allowed myself to START DRINKING TOMORROW. I am not a good "doer today" so it has been about 2800 days since I decided that I would drink TOMORROW. Just haven't got around to it yet.
If you can procrastinate as well as I do you might just stay sober. Besides, if I know that I CAN drink again, just like Linus in the comic strip Peanuts, I have my security blanket.
Best of luck, and remember the folks inside AA are just as lost as you are, but we are all lost together!
Jon
Just a couple of things to consider.
Several of the previous posts have mentioned an AA meeting. If not because you think the folks in the meeting have any wisdom or even that AA is for you, it has been my experience that I have never had a drink while in a meeting. It is after all SOMTHING TO DO. It will just keep you occupied. I went to far more meeting in my first year because I wanted to drink more than I really wanted to go to that meeting.
Regarding "not drinking for the rest of my life." I spent several years getting ready to quit and I always decided to QUIT TOMORROW. Since I have been sober I have always allowed myself to START DRINKING TOMORROW. I am not a good "doer today" so it has been about 2800 days since I decided that I would drink TOMORROW. Just haven't got around to it yet.
If you can procrastinate as well as I do you might just stay sober. Besides, if I know that I CAN drink again, just like Linus in the comic strip Peanuts, I have my security blanket.
Best of luck, and remember the folks inside AA are just as lost as you are, but we are all lost together!
Jon
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
