I can't be...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 91
I can't be...
I can't be this person I can see myself becoming...this despairing person...drowning in a sea of misery...and one that she created. This story is too common in my family. The fact that I see any bit of it in myself really angers me. I refuse. I refuse to be that person.
I am NOT an alcoholic.
But I admit that I am playing a dangerous game here. In a few months. In a few weeks...I could cross that fine line from where I am to powerlessness.
Not only does the prospect anger me greatly, but it scares me. It scares me a whole lot. I can't lose myself and my life to that. And I can't ruin my early adult life with this.
I have been drinking way too much lately,and I definitely acknowledge that I am displaying alcoholic behaviors.
It totally evaded me until I took the time to look back and realized I hadn't been sober for the better part of a month. I've been using alcohol for everything from a sleep aid to a mood enhancer to a way to lose myself. I've been drinking myself into oblivion more often that not. I used to drink more socially, now I drink to drink. I came home from being with friends and having drinks, and finished it off with a half bottle of jack. I accepted that as normal. I've gained more clarity now. I want to stop now and reverse. I want to be able to let go of it as having all of these other meanings for me, and actually make it to my 21st birthday being able to hit the bars responsibly.
I know I sound sort of ridiculous to those in full recovery.
I just refuse to be an alcoholic. I will not back myself into a corner with no options but one. I hate the idea.
I'm here to remind myself of my goals.
I'm new here and sort of lost.
I'm half afraid people will hate what I've written here, but I've tried to be honest.
Sober for....*sigh* I dunno. Less than 24hours, but hoping that number doesn't shrink.
I am NOT an alcoholic.
But I admit that I am playing a dangerous game here. In a few months. In a few weeks...I could cross that fine line from where I am to powerlessness.
Not only does the prospect anger me greatly, but it scares me. It scares me a whole lot. I can't lose myself and my life to that. And I can't ruin my early adult life with this.
I have been drinking way too much lately,and I definitely acknowledge that I am displaying alcoholic behaviors.
It totally evaded me until I took the time to look back and realized I hadn't been sober for the better part of a month. I've been using alcohol for everything from a sleep aid to a mood enhancer to a way to lose myself. I've been drinking myself into oblivion more often that not. I used to drink more socially, now I drink to drink. I came home from being with friends and having drinks, and finished it off with a half bottle of jack. I accepted that as normal. I've gained more clarity now. I want to stop now and reverse. I want to be able to let go of it as having all of these other meanings for me, and actually make it to my 21st birthday being able to hit the bars responsibly.
I know I sound sort of ridiculous to those in full recovery.
I just refuse to be an alcoholic. I will not back myself into a corner with no options but one. I hate the idea.
I'm here to remind myself of my goals.
I'm new here and sort of lost.
I'm half afraid people will hate what I've written here, but I've tried to be honest.
Sober for....*sigh* I dunno. Less than 24hours, but hoping that number doesn't shrink.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Sunkensky,
always a lot of good, kind, and helpful folks here to talk to...welcome !!
oh by the way....I don't think it matters one iota whether you accept or use the label alcoholic or not...if you think you have a problem of any description, there's a whole mess of people here willing to help with advice on what to do
take care
D
always a lot of good, kind, and helpful folks here to talk to...welcome !!
oh by the way....I don't think it matters one iota whether you accept or use the label alcoholic or not...if you think you have a problem of any description, there's a whole mess of people here willing to help with advice on what to do
take care
D
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Congratulations on seeking answers to your drinking!
The best advice I can give is to get more info and here is a great link
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
I never have figured out exactly
what day or which drink
slid me into alcoholism.
Take care..Welcome to SR!
The best advice I can give is to get more info and here is a great link
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
I never have figured out exactly what day or which drink
slid me into alcoholism.
Take care..Welcome to SR!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 91
I have a few questions, if anyone cares to answer...
The people I drink with...they are also my very good friends. I've known them all 7 years about...
I was just drinking with them yesterday, with no sign of stopping. So how does one go from that to the complete opposite and still maintain their friends and their respect?
How do you stop drinking without announcing to the world you think you might have a problem with alcohol?
The people I drink with...they are also my very good friends. I've known them all 7 years about...
I was just drinking with them yesterday, with no sign of stopping. So how does one go from that to the complete opposite and still maintain their friends and their respect?
How do you stop drinking without announcing to the world you think you might have a problem with alcohol?
Determined
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the verge of insanity
Posts: 330
Hi there
If your friends are true friends they will respect you whether you have a glass of water or a beer. It really is your choice what is more important at this point to you. I had loads of fun through my university years then started drinking with a bunch of froiends from work. Everyone expects me to drink and makes comments like "thats not like you" when I have in the past tried to refuse a drink. None of my friends know that I now think I have/had a problem, and I havn't been out but people have been round to see me and had a few beers here and I have just said I have decided that I don't want to drink, just to see what no hangovers is like. There isn't an easy way you could have excuses if you want like early start, got to drive, antibiotics etc etc then of course you can't drink and during that time you could decide not drinking is actually ok/saves money etc etc
Just a few ideas for you.
Good luck whatever you decide
If your friends are true friends they will respect you whether you have a glass of water or a beer. It really is your choice what is more important at this point to you. I had loads of fun through my university years then started drinking with a bunch of froiends from work. Everyone expects me to drink and makes comments like "thats not like you" when I have in the past tried to refuse a drink. None of my friends know that I now think I have/had a problem, and I havn't been out but people have been round to see me and had a few beers here and I have just said I have decided that I don't want to drink, just to see what no hangovers is like. There isn't an easy way you could have excuses if you want like early start, got to drive, antibiotics etc etc then of course you can't drink and during that time you could decide not drinking is actually ok/saves money etc etc
Just a few ideas for you.
Good luck whatever you decide
Community Greeter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
After so many years, too many to count I decided to choose sobriety over drink/drugs and how it's paid off. In France any excuse for a party or gathering, I told my friends I had stopped and I am now quite happy to sit among my friends and they can drink all they want.....they don't have a problem, in fact I can have more fun sober and I can remember the day after (no blackouts for me). In the past people have tried to persuade me to partake and I tell them that if they are my friends then they will respect my wishes, they have. There is no shame in admitting you have a problem it is courageous of you to stand firm on your ground. It is your life. My thoughts are with you.
indigo
indigo
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Getting off my butt
Posts: 141
Originally Posted by sunkensky 
I have a few questions, if anyone cares to answer...
The people I drink with...they are also my very good friends. I've known them all 7 years about...
I was just drinking with them yesterday, with no sign of stopping. So how does one go from that to the complete opposite and still maintain their friends and their respect?
How do you stop drinking without announcing to the world you think you might have a problem with alcohol?
The people I drink with...they are also my very good friends. I've known them all 7 years about...
I was just drinking with them yesterday, with no sign of stopping. So how does one go from that to the complete opposite and still maintain their friends and their respect?
How do you stop drinking without announcing to the world you think you might have a problem with alcohol?
I remember when I was newly married. My husbands best friend, his wife, and kids would come to our house for dinner. We would always drink. This friend had several DWIs and 2 small children.
One night, they came over for dinner. When he was offered a beer, he said "I don't drink anymore." I respected him A LOT when he said those words. It must have been hard for him to say!
True friends will respect your decision.
Good luck to you!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Originally Posted by sunkensky
How do you stop drinking without announcing to the world you think you might have a problem with alcohol?
D
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
Hi and Welcome,
I am glad you are looking for answers.
Since you are not an alcoholic, stopping drinking should not be a problem for you. If you choose to not drink anymore, you will need to address the issue of talking to friends about it. In my opinion, tell them as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.
I hope you keep reading and learning.
I am glad you are looking for answers.
Since you are not an alcoholic, stopping drinking should not be a problem for you. If you choose to not drink anymore, you will need to address the issue of talking to friends about it. In my opinion, tell them as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.
I hope you keep reading and learning.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 91
I really appreciate all of the comments. I'm not having too much of a problem with not drinking, it will enter my thoughts, but I haven't made the effort to go and empty a bottle. I don't want to.
Thanks for the words of encouragement.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Welcome to SR, this is a great place for support and information.
Awhile back I posted a thread titled "My name is Tyler and I AM NOT an addict." I do have a serious problem with smoking pot and drinking is an issue as well. My drinking sound similar to yours. Not necessarily every day, but when I drink, it is usually to get drunk. The point of the post wasn't that I dont' have a problem, which I CLEARLY DO! But that I did not embrace the "label" of "addict" or for that matter "alcoholic".
When it comes right down to it, labels are meaningless. For some, especially in 12-step recovery, it is helpful to accept this label. For others, such as myself, it doesn't seem to be of any real help. No one but you can decide if you have a "problem". And if you do decide that you have a problem, no one but you can "fix" it. How you go about doing or not doing that is also your choice.
As far as your "friends" go, if they are friends, they will understand and support your decision. Many of my friends continue to smoke pot, some may "have a problem" with it, others may not. I find it hard to hang out with them because the temptation is there, even if they know my situation and support my quitting. If it is a real friend, they will still hang out with you at places other than a bar. If not I would say that person is more of a "drinking buddy" than a true friend. A friend cares about you and your well being more than they care about drinking.
Hope some of this helps, keep posting here, there is lot's of knowledge on these boards. Take care.
Awhile back I posted a thread titled "My name is Tyler and I AM NOT an addict." I do have a serious problem with smoking pot and drinking is an issue as well. My drinking sound similar to yours. Not necessarily every day, but when I drink, it is usually to get drunk. The point of the post wasn't that I dont' have a problem, which I CLEARLY DO! But that I did not embrace the "label" of "addict" or for that matter "alcoholic".
When it comes right down to it, labels are meaningless. For some, especially in 12-step recovery, it is helpful to accept this label. For others, such as myself, it doesn't seem to be of any real help. No one but you can decide if you have a "problem". And if you do decide that you have a problem, no one but you can "fix" it. How you go about doing or not doing that is also your choice.
As far as your "friends" go, if they are friends, they will understand and support your decision. Many of my friends continue to smoke pot, some may "have a problem" with it, others may not. I find it hard to hang out with them because the temptation is there, even if they know my situation and support my quitting. If it is a real friend, they will still hang out with you at places other than a bar. If not I would say that person is more of a "drinking buddy" than a true friend. A friend cares about you and your well being more than they care about drinking.
Hope some of this helps, keep posting here, there is lot's of knowledge on these boards. Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 91
I suppose the label is meaningless and it's more the effects that matter, but I really cannot accept the label of addict. If I did, I would admit I had no power, and without power, I would feel like I may as well just give up and drink.
I will always have power over my choices. I hope.
I am glad you can see my point of view, tyler.
The line I have been toeing has been a strange one, though. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell whether, after I have thought I didn't want to drink, and then got drunk...whether that was just me changing my mind (which I keep repeating to myself) or a more powerful force. It's always a choice though, isn't it?
The warning for me was when I started to crave it just like I used to crave cigarettes. I quit cigarettes cold turkey. Haven't smoked in...well...not that long...over a month though, and I have had little problem. I didn't like feeling like I needed them. And when I felt that beginning to happen with alcohol that was my warning sign.
I do kind of want a drink now. I think my body hasn't finished purging the alcohol from it yet. I can still feel it. I start to get really out of it almost like a day dream and I can feel the alcohol still in my body. I probably need to eat.
Thinking aloud. Sorry.
I will always have power over my choices. I hope.
I am glad you can see my point of view, tyler.
The line I have been toeing has been a strange one, though. Sometimes it's hard for me to tell whether, after I have thought I didn't want to drink, and then got drunk...whether that was just me changing my mind (which I keep repeating to myself) or a more powerful force. It's always a choice though, isn't it?
The warning for me was when I started to crave it just like I used to crave cigarettes. I quit cigarettes cold turkey. Haven't smoked in...well...not that long...over a month though, and I have had little problem. I didn't like feeling like I needed them. And when I felt that beginning to happen with alcohol that was my warning sign.
I do kind of want a drink now. I think my body hasn't finished purging the alcohol from it yet. I can still feel it. I start to get really out of it almost like a day dream and I can feel the alcohol still in my body. I probably need to eat.
Thinking aloud. Sorry.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
Welcome glad you found your way here.
Whether alcoholic or not, if you think you have reasins to want to stop drinking than you should give it a shot.
Alcohol will always be there if you want to you can always drink again.
Give sobriety a chance, and just in case you are an alcoholic the earlier the better in stopping. It only gets harder.the longer you drink.
Whether alcoholic or not, if you think you have reasins to want to stop drinking than you should give it a shot.
Alcohol will always be there if you want to you can always drink again.
Give sobriety a chance, and just in case you are an alcoholic the earlier the better in stopping. It only gets harder.the longer you drink.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
I didn't think i was an alki or addict either...i imagine non of us really did.
My perception of an alki was a whino and an addict was a hype.
I never stuck a needle in my arms and I never drank gallons of the stuff everyday.
I got sober at a every young age. While it was a bit tough to break away
from all that partying , especailly when that I was old and legal to do it.
I had to stop. I choose to stop..i never thought I start drinking at
work either...that day came...
I never thought i end up sleeping in my , but I actaully had a house to go
home to....that day also came...the insanity of it all.
As much as anyone and piont out to me that I had a drinking problem.
It dosn't matter until i was willing to do something about it.
i stop on will power along...many, many times so I could stay out of trouble
or manage a certain life style...Each time that i drank again it got worst
and worst. Whatever lable or whatever society thought ..didn't matter
anymore...i was suffering too many consequence and the losses became
to great. i lost alot more than material thing...I started lossing myself.
Bascially i cross a threshold at a very young age and there was no way
to reverse it. My body process alcohol or wrong, alcohol became acid
in my system. It affected my thinking, my perception, my actions.
I basically became allergy to it...I developed other types of allergy
in my later life also..that dosen't effect my reasoning like alcohol did.
I accepted my other allergy.
Why ? just plain old peer pressure, media and a life style
There is help...there's nothing to be ashame of.
I can learn how to live, have fun without alcohol.
I actaully enjoy life more now that I'm sober...
There's more to life than alcohol...
if the people in my life, family and friends truley love me and care about me
they sure the hell wouldn't want me to drink something that I'm allergic to.
Never the less..it is a chioce and a decision i must make on my own.
Surely if I'm a responsible adult that can make a rational decision..it's not
that difficult...that if, I'm clear headed...
which is a catch 22..how can I make a sane chioce if I'm drunk or still
have alcohol in my system or residue of it ??
pain and suffering ultimately made me wake up.
it dosen't have to be that way.
My perception of an alki was a whino and an addict was a hype.
I never stuck a needle in my arms and I never drank gallons of the stuff everyday.
I got sober at a every young age. While it was a bit tough to break away
from all that partying , especailly when that I was old and legal to do it.
I had to stop. I choose to stop..i never thought I start drinking at
work either...that day came...
I never thought i end up sleeping in my , but I actaully had a house to go
home to....that day also came...the insanity of it all.
As much as anyone and piont out to me that I had a drinking problem.
It dosn't matter until i was willing to do something about it.
i stop on will power along...many, many times so I could stay out of trouble
or manage a certain life style...Each time that i drank again it got worst
and worst. Whatever lable or whatever society thought ..didn't matter
anymore...i was suffering too many consequence and the losses became
to great. i lost alot more than material thing...I started lossing myself.
Bascially i cross a threshold at a very young age and there was no way
to reverse it. My body process alcohol or wrong, alcohol became acid
in my system. It affected my thinking, my perception, my actions.
I basically became allergy to it...I developed other types of allergy
in my later life also..that dosen't effect my reasoning like alcohol did.
I accepted my other allergy.
Why ? just plain old peer pressure, media and a life style
There is help...there's nothing to be ashame of.
I can learn how to live, have fun without alcohol.
I actaully enjoy life more now that I'm sober...
There's more to life than alcohol...
if the people in my life, family and friends truley love me and care about me
they sure the hell wouldn't want me to drink something that I'm allergic to.
Never the less..it is a chioce and a decision i must make on my own.
Surely if I'm a responsible adult that can make a rational decision..it's not
that difficult...that if, I'm clear headed...
which is a catch 22..how can I make a sane chioce if I'm drunk or still
have alcohol in my system or residue of it ??
pain and suffering ultimately made me wake up.
it dosen't have to be that way.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
My point of view is much the same as Anna's....
If you are not alcoholic you should have no problem in "stopping".....
I will go one step furthur....
If you are not alcoholic...you will not be thinking about it at all
while sober.
Keep sharing..
and Welcome to SR!
Love,
Sherry
If you are not alcoholic you should have no problem in "stopping".....
I will go one step furthur....
If you are not alcoholic...you will not be thinking about it at all
while sober.
Keep sharing..
and Welcome to SR!
Love,
Sherry
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
addict. alcoholic. lush. drunk. wino. sot.
all labels and, in a sense, meaningless...don't get caught up in semantics.
I agree with IO and Anna. Either you have a problem or you don't, and of course only you can decide that for yourself...anything else is distraction.
I do have a problem, and yet this place has helped me *not* have a problem for nearly 6 weeks, which in my world, is a genuine fall down on my knees miracle. It's a good place to hang out in.
D
all labels and, in a sense, meaningless...don't get caught up in semantics.
I agree with IO and Anna. Either you have a problem or you don't, and of course only you can decide that for yourself...anything else is distraction.
I do have a problem, and yet this place has helped me *not* have a problem for nearly 6 weeks, which in my world, is a genuine fall down on my knees miracle. It's a good place to hang out in.
D
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