thiskidknows

I don't know where to post, I feel like all I do is complain and I'm sorry, I pray everynite that tomorrow will be different, that tomorrow the feelings will be gone but they remain. I want to give up drink cause it does make me worse, I just don't know what will happen once me old buddy goes..the only one thing I can turn to. sounds so pathetic and weak. I'm desperate, I've contacted every helpline I know to be told Its my choice, I need to stand up for myself but how, when u don't know how to. I've had it with life, i'm tierd with life. Thank you for ur support I just see no light at the end of this tunnel and can't see any other way.

God bless u alll.

Lost xx never to be found.

Astro

Lost, I rarely start my own threads but today I'm hurting so badly that I had to reach out too. I may have two years of sobriety, but that doesn't mean life is always perfect. This forum wouldn't exist if we all didn't have the need to reach out for help. So keep posting, OK? God bless you too.

Midas

Don't quit before the miracle happens.

Rowan

That's wonderful that you called the Help lines. Now .. what's next?
Can you get to a meeting? Can you get in to see a counsellor?
I would highly recommend AA, and I would take you myself if I could afford the airfare. Get to a meeting, LostChild. It's time for action.
You deserve to get well.

livefree

lost shild,
How are you? Sounds like you're having a hard time. It's OK. It's good that you're expressing your feelings. I felt the same way. It can be so scary to give up drinking when it feels like your only source of comfort. It can get better. PM me if you need support. I'm praying for you.

Anna

Lost,

You have reached out by coming here and you have reached out by calling help lines. You need to take the next step and do one positive thing to help yourself. And, you can do that. We are all here to support. Making one change will make a big difference in your life.

Midas

Remember...you ARE worth it. Making the decision sometimes is next to impossible. Pardon the phrase, but it "takes a leap of faith" to be able to turn away from your alcoholic soul.

I had to do it. It nearly killed me.

Chasm of Chaos

When I jumped...
I could see nothing
I could feel nothing
The ground fell away
My feet had nowhere to land
I closed my eyes so hard,
it seemed as if the stars fell from the sky
and filled my mind's eye.

My old self screamed in disbelief.

I had to hope somebody would catch me!
I was falling way too fast,
and when I finally landed,
warm hands and warm souls
surrounded me in a love
I've never felt before.

I made it. I had fallen into the fold.

Voices vibrated through me and around me
swirling and whirling my Gawd I'm so giddy!

If sobriety is like this,
I don't
ever
want to go
...back...

------------------------
© Barry L. Harper, 2007


You can do it. You don't have to drink, ever again. One day at a time.

ayla zaire

remember i'm here when you need me, lost....

thiskidknows

Thank you to everyone who replied, I feel really stupid posting what I did. I was in a very bad way last nite, my ex contacted me and I naively went, stuff happened, further stuff came out (including he's the father of 3 children, who he fathered durin the time we were together)..I got extremely drunk, angry, mad,...completely lost it..couldn't calm down. BUT today I feel so much better, emotionally I still feel blur but I feel better then I have in a long time...maybe because the trash I was carrying on my shoulders has been lightened with my ex firmly in he's place (including me speaking to the police, although I did drop the charges but it will remain on record).

Thank you once again, u ikkle angels. bless you all.

Lost xx