Golfman

Kevin,

I understand the feeling of uneasiness when it comes to sharing your 4th step with another. I used to question why I had to do this since I had admitted to myself and God. Be cautious however, the steps say what they say for a reason. Part of our recovery is learning humility. I never learned that when I spoke to myself. I only learned it when I admitted the exact nature of my wrongs to another human being.

Take it for what it's worth. It's worked for millions of alcoholics who are happy in recovery today.

My best to you,
Ed

nogard

I still intend to share my 4th with another person probably my sponsor. I simply meant that first I will admit it to God and to myself.

Thanks though

Kevin

Midas

Sorry you didn't find any humor in my other post. Doing a full-tilt 4th step is nerve-wrecking. Good Luck.

nogard

Yep it sure is and so is a 5th.

Kevin

Kellye C

Kevin, you've gotten good advice so far although some of it could be seen as conflicting. Here's one more that I hope might help. When I balk at something for whatever reason (be it fear, shame, pride, whatever) I was told to just pray for the "willingness" to do whatever it was. I have found that to be helpful in my own recovery. I pray for willingness until I actually become willing to do whatever it was.

BTW, I had to be drug kicking and screaming into my 4th step. Once I finally got off my arse and did it and was ready to start sharing it my sponsor went back out. I was left without a sponsor and with a plateful of garbage and wreckage of my past. I got my current sponsor at this point in my sobriety. She was someone who I respected but who scared the living h*ll out of me. I didn't relish the idea of baring my soul to her. Funny thing was I went over there all nervous and stuff and then we started off. I read off the first thing, we discussed it, she then shared something from her past that was similar. The longer it went on the easier it got. The whole thing took 12 hours which was grueling but the feeling of relief afterwards was worth it! The stuff that I did wasn't so terribly different or worse from stuff she had done. We found out we were amazingly similar in our stories and we grew closer after it.

I still reap the rewards of that 5th step today. I learned so much about myself, my thought processes, my behaviors, my patterns and saw clearly how I kept doing the same things over and over again. I still find myself reverting to old ways sometimes now. When that happens I know pretty quick what I've done and can look at it from a better perspective. It was amazing that something that filled me with so much fear turned out to be something so valuable to me.

Anyways, I hope that you will find your way through this. Talking to your HP about it is always a great start IMHO.

Hugs,
Kellye

nogard

Thanks Kelly

I will be glad when I have done it, then maybe I will get my sense of humour back and stop moaning at Midas

Kevin

Kellye C

You will! Don't worry! Best part is one of these days you will "BE" Midas and have someone moaning at you about their 5th step LOL!

Hang in there and keep us posted because we care about ya!!!

Hugs,
Kellye

nogard

I will keep you posted. Right now content and happy to share my 5th with God and myself very soon. Will see what happens after that.

Thanks.

Kevin