WhiskeyB4Bfast

Thanks all for the kind welcomes and support. You know, it's really interesting when you really set your mind on quitting and take an honest look inside yourself, you realize exactly how often you WANT to drink and how much you would drink if you did drink then.

I came to some interesting realizations this morning. Compared to some of the stories that I've read of other people, I really didn't drink THAT much. (HA!). But the interesting thing I noticed was how much I WANTED/WANT to drink. It has become obvious to me that I have been good at curtailing my drinking based on an easily foreseeable acute consequence (unable to perform job duties, wife getting angry, possibility of another DUI, concern of hurting someone on the road, etc.) But the reality of it is that I WANT to drink all the time and it would only be a matter of time before I got rid of the things that got in my way of drinking (loose my family, find an easier job, etc.) and I would be enabled to drink all I want and quickly spiral. If I could do what I wanted to do, I'd get up in the morning, have a bloody mary (or 2), pick up a 24oz beer on the way to work, go out to lunch and have 2 - 3 pints, pick up another 24oz on the way home, come home and have a 6 pack before collapsing into bed.

Now, no matter how much I actually DO drink, the realization that I have the desire and craving for that style of drinking is REALLY scary. I guess those are the kinds of things you start seeing when you start trying to be honest with yourself. It's a little hard to handle and I want to hide from it when I start seeing those things.

Thanks for letting me vent my story that's been told a million times by a million other people.

KeeMo

Candy Scratch

I've never thought about it that way, but that's pretty bang on, ie/ what you would drink if you coud do what you wanted to without any consequence. I'd probably sip champagne all day long --

The problem emerges when you do think about the consequences: Physical, emotional, financial, spiritual - you name it, nothing is left unscathed.

Glad you're starting to see these things and sharing them with us.

Hugs,
CS

GlassPrisoner

Yeah, even if I won the lotto, I still couldn't drink. I'd never have a relationship with my family or anyone else, and I'd eventually die due to health reasons.

I think what you just had is described as a moment of clarity.

TorontoGuy28

Wow... An eye-opener for sure.. thanks

Sportster

KeeMo,
Ya know that's a pretty dangerous line of thinking for someone who should not drink at all. What I mean is that if you are thinking about what you would do if you could do exactly what you wanted should be the same thing as doing what you really want to do. In other words being sober is what I really want to be and any thoughts of drinking all day are thoughts I use to have before I decided I didn't want to be a drunk anymore.
I guess convincing myself that alcohol does nothing positive for me sets me on the right course so that I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything by not drinking at all.
John

Anna

Welcome KeeMo!

I obsessed about alcohol and it was such a relief when I finally stopped drinking and could begin to think about other things.

You'll find lots of support here, so keep posting.

WhiskeyB4Bfast

Hey Sportster,

Thanks for that. I think maybe I was unclear. When I used the word "Want" I was speaking more of my cravings and urges (being newly sober). What I really want is to never touch the stuff again because I know what it does to me, my family and my life.

I don't know. Maybe I'm still way to close to the situation (this is only day 3 for me). I have a good bit of fear, sadness, anger and resentment that I will miss alot of the social situations that revolved around drinking. I'm resentful that I can't just drink like a normal person. I'm scared that I won't be able to do it and that one day I'll feel like I'm strong and all better and pick it back up. I'm angry that I feel like a weakling.

i realize what an ignorant newbie I sound like... Going to a meeting in about an hour... one day at a time...

Anyway, thanks for your wisdom.

KeeMo

CarolD

Hmmm...for me to stay sober I needed to understand
why I was returning to drinking when I wanted to stop.

Here are excerpts from the book that convinced me..

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

The part that explained what was happening to my liver
and brain enzymes turned the tide for me.

I use God and AA to continue my successful recovery..
Sobriety is grand!

Hi Neighbor!!

Sportster

KeeMo,
I'm right there with you brother. I quit drinking for ten years and it was a very good ten years. Right about from when my kids were two and three. Then I started to think well haven't I been a good dad, I miss having a few pops with the guys, and anyway the doctors all say that a couple of glasses of wine are actually good for you. So I thought I could just pick up and be a social drinker. WRONG! The past five years have dispelled any ideas I had about being a social drinker. Anyway, when I got sober and started to pay attention to the gang sitting around the table with me I started to notice that probably two out of six are not drinking alcohol, and in most cases they are not alcoholics, they just don't feel the need to get a buzz and risk a DUI.
I'm back on the wagon now for just over two weeks and it has been pretty good. Not ready to declare victory yet but every day I tell myself that there is nothing more important to me in this life than my sobriety. Everything else seems to work out better if I just don't drink.
Just hang tough,
John