first time here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Aalborg
Posts: 15
first time here
Hi fellow sufferes, it´s good to know this is a survivable affliction. I´m an alcoholic, who have been drinking moderatly on my own for as long as I can remember. Knowing I have the problem, I´ve been keeping it down to 2 goodnight beers during the week no problem and a controlled binge at the weekends. After all, life is more fun sober.
Then something happened last weekend that took me totally by surprise: Christmas dinner, you know the kind where people go on and I couldn´t help my self. After lying in my bed for 4 days contemplating suicide and trying to dull the pain with beer after beer I capitulated and asked my wife for help. She called my mum who is also an ex alcoholic (and look how happy she is now). Knowing the score, she called my dad who is a doctor who got me a wicked drug that I believe is designed for hardcore drug addicts!!! Well, having sobered up this drug is making me feel even more drunk than I´ve ever experinced in my whole drinking career. Not the way to go, so I called him today and persuaded him to get me something I´ve tried before. I live in Denmark, so the names of these drugs probably won´t make sense in this forum. This drug does nothing to the state of my mind, it simply stops me shaking (enabeling me to catch peas with a fork lol) and it´s easy to ditch when time comes.
I have had ENOUGH of this life style, and in my blurred state of mind I just joined the AA. I have made a desicion, and knowing an alky´s desicion making abilities I write here to beg for support to stick to it.
I´m sorry if my language is a bit weird, but I couldn´t find a danish forum (and due to the ultra detox drugs I took yesterday I even sound weird in danish)
So if anyone here has ever felt like an elephant with a nits brain and on thin ice, please drop me a line.
Thanks
detoxication
Then something happened last weekend that took me totally by surprise: Christmas dinner, you know the kind where people go on and I couldn´t help my self. After lying in my bed for 4 days contemplating suicide and trying to dull the pain with beer after beer I capitulated and asked my wife for help. She called my mum who is also an ex alcoholic (and look how happy she is now). Knowing the score, she called my dad who is a doctor who got me a wicked drug that I believe is designed for hardcore drug addicts!!! Well, having sobered up this drug is making me feel even more drunk than I´ve ever experinced in my whole drinking career. Not the way to go, so I called him today and persuaded him to get me something I´ve tried before. I live in Denmark, so the names of these drugs probably won´t make sense in this forum. This drug does nothing to the state of my mind, it simply stops me shaking (enabeling me to catch peas with a fork lol) and it´s easy to ditch when time comes.
I have had ENOUGH of this life style, and in my blurred state of mind I just joined the AA. I have made a desicion, and knowing an alky´s desicion making abilities I write here to beg for support to stick to it.
I´m sorry if my language is a bit weird, but I couldn´t find a danish forum (and due to the ultra detox drugs I took yesterday I even sound weird in danish)
So if anyone here has ever felt like an elephant with a nits brain and on thin ice, please drop me a line.
Thanks
detoxication
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Aalborg
Posts: 15
It´s me again, now I´m in trouble!!!
See that AA thing I just mentioned above? I´ve just recieved an invitation 2 hours from now, and it scares me to death. You have probably all been there (first time) and talk warmly about it. I just feel so jumbled in my head that the very thought of standing in front of a crowd makes me shake.
Some good things start with a kick to the groin I suppose...
Oh, by the way this is an open meeting so I´ll probably meet people I don´t want to know about my problem...
detoxication
See that AA thing I just mentioned above? I´ve just recieved an invitation 2 hours from now, and it scares me to death. You have probably all been there (first time) and talk warmly about it. I just feel so jumbled in my head that the very thought of standing in front of a crowd makes me shake.
Some good things start with a kick to the groin I suppose...
Oh, by the way this is an open meeting so I´ll probably meet people I don´t want to know about my problem...
detoxication
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
You don't HAVE to go to this meeting if your anonymity is of utmost importance. You can ask when the next closed meeting is. Then you would be on even ground with anyone you see there, since you each would be addmiting a problem and both would be seeking solution.
Congrats on taking the first step.
Congrats on taking the first step.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 307
I detox,
I felt the same way about my first meeting, here in the States. Seems like we alkys are the same all over
I, too, felt really out of whack in my first few days. I was coming off a bender when I went to my first meeting. All you have to do is show up and maybe introduce yourself as new. If you can't introduce yourself, just show up and listen. I've got a feeling that AA where you are has much in common with AA where I am: no one will judge you. They will just be glad you are there.
By the way, your English is impressive! Wish I were bi-lingual.
Jup
I felt the same way about my first meeting, here in the States. Seems like we alkys are the same all over
I, too, felt really out of whack in my first few days. I was coming off a bender when I went to my first meeting. All you have to do is show up and maybe introduce yourself as new. If you can't introduce yourself, just show up and listen. I've got a feeling that AA where you are has much in common with AA where I am: no one will judge you. They will just be glad you are there.By the way, your English is impressive! Wish I were bi-lingual.
Jup
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
If you decided to go to that meeting...and I do hope you did...you probably know by now that you wouldn't have been expected to get up and introduce yourself to the crowd...only the speakers do that. I hope it was a good meeting, and that you'll want to go back there.
And, anyone at a meeting is there for the same reasons...either they themselves are alcoholic, or they have a family member or friend who is. You needn't explain yourself to anyone unless you want to.
BTW...your English is much better than my Danish, which is nil. The only Danish I know is pastries!
And, anyone at a meeting is there for the same reasons...either they themselves are alcoholic, or they have a family member or friend who is. You needn't explain yourself to anyone unless you want to.
BTW...your English is much better than my Danish, which is nil. The only Danish I know is pastries!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Aalborg
Posts: 15
great meeting!
Thanks for all your posts, it´s heart warming to say the least!
That meeting was a laugh, such a variety of personalities all intend to make me feel accepted as a person with a problem, not an evil guy with a death wish.
This is the beginning of something good, I can´t wait for the next meeting!
Hey, they even gave me a "24 hour coin". Another guy got an 8 year coin. It was amazing to see how similar our reasons for drinking were. Makes me wonder what the world would look like if booze had never been invented....
What is the english word for that drug that makes you sick as a dog if you drink? I have some, but it just makes me tired for days, so I prefer will power and chocolate milk. It seems to fool my body so the thirst goes away...
detoxication
That meeting was a laugh, such a variety of personalities all intend to make me feel accepted as a person with a problem, not an evil guy with a death wish.
This is the beginning of something good, I can´t wait for the next meeting!
Hey, they even gave me a "24 hour coin". Another guy got an 8 year coin. It was amazing to see how similar our reasons for drinking were. Makes me wonder what the world would look like if booze had never been invented....
What is the english word for that drug that makes you sick as a dog if you drink? I have some, but it just makes me tired for days, so I prefer will power and chocolate milk. It seems to fool my body so the thirst goes away...
detoxication
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
I smiled when I read your description of the meeting. Yes! There are all kinds in the rooms, all with one thing in common, and we do know how to have a good time.
My friends and I spent last evening with a fellow from Montana -- all the way across the country from us. We all belong to the same "extended family" -- and your English is no more difficult for me to understand than my sister's who lives in the Southern US, so please, don't feel self-conscious about it. I struggle with the second language I must learn for my college degree.
Anonymity is something that we talk a lot about, some worry a lot about, but its rarely a problem. One woman shared at a meeting that she was concerned when she saw co-workers at her first meeting. Then it occurred to her that just as she didn't want anyone to know she was there, they probably didn't, either!
Keep posting, please, and keep going to meetings if you enjoy them. Matter of fact, for me, sometimes the days they do me the most good is when I don't want to go. I always feel better after!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
My friends and I spent last evening with a fellow from Montana -- all the way across the country from us. We all belong to the same "extended family" -- and your English is no more difficult for me to understand than my sister's who lives in the Southern US, so please, don't feel self-conscious about it. I struggle with the second language I must learn for my college degree.
Anonymity is something that we talk a lot about, some worry a lot about, but its rarely a problem. One woman shared at a meeting that she was concerned when she saw co-workers at her first meeting. Then it occurred to her that just as she didn't want anyone to know she was there, they probably didn't, either!
Keep posting, please, and keep going to meetings if you enjoy them. Matter of fact, for me, sometimes the days they do me the most good is when I don't want to go. I always feel better after!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Aalborg
Posts: 15
Now that I´m hooked on these meetings, I can´t wait to see who I´ll meet lol. Just the way anyone who wants to say something has to start with "my name is whatever and I´m an alcoholic" is a gag...I wonder if one eventually has to detox out of these meetings???
Raerob, your answer (antibuse) is excactely what I suspected the buggers would be called. Do they come in different varieties, because all I can do if I take them is lie on the couch looking daft. They do come in handy on thirsty days, but come on... spending a week too wasted to even watch telly is about as daft as drinking. No, give me chocolate milk any day, just guzzle a pint or two and there is NO chance your body wants more of ANYTHING!
I haven´t checked the forum yet, but it would be fun to have a section with alternatives to booze.. Oh, another one: Walking at a good pace in the woods for about 40 minutes kills anxiety and shakes too (if you have the energy).
All for now, went to work today (I´m one of those maniacs with chainsaws and huge tractors that will pester your picnic) I´m ready for bed.
Good night to all of you
detoxication
Raerob, your answer (antibuse) is excactely what I suspected the buggers would be called. Do they come in different varieties, because all I can do if I take them is lie on the couch looking daft. They do come in handy on thirsty days, but come on... spending a week too wasted to even watch telly is about as daft as drinking. No, give me chocolate milk any day, just guzzle a pint or two and there is NO chance your body wants more of ANYTHING!
I haven´t checked the forum yet, but it would be fun to have a section with alternatives to booze.. Oh, another one: Walking at a good pace in the woods for about 40 minutes kills anxiety and shakes too (if you have the energy).
All for now, went to work today (I´m one of those maniacs with chainsaws and huge tractors that will pester your picnic) I´m ready for bed.
Good night to all of you
detoxication
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
Hi and welcome!!! I am SO glad to hear that you went to your meeting and furthermore you liked it! I resisted AA in the beginning and invented every excuse under the sun why it wasn't for me. Bottom line, it wasn't for me because I wasn't ready to stop drinking. I wanted to "cut down" and not bear the consequences of my alcohol consumption but couldn't fathom stopping. No, I'm a hard headed goat and had to have my *ss stomped almost to death before I went into AA with an open mind and a willingness to shut up, listen, look for the similarities and stop looking for the differences. I was terrified at first and rather ashamed. I wouldn't go in my little home town. OMG, they might find out I'm an alcoholic. What a laugh! Didn't stop me from being on a first name basis with all of the liquor store people and other alcholics in town. Anywho, I finally went in 2004 and have been sober since 8/8/04 which is a miracle and certainly nothing I could have done on my own.
I'm thrilled that you are here. Your english is AWESOME!!!!!
One other thing, if you get sick of chocolate milk try ice cream (preferably chocolate) or natural honey. I've been told that these help with the cravings a lot. My first sponsor, God rest her soul, told me to keep chocolate on me at all times. It helped and I've seen it help other newcomers. I personally keep peppermints on me at all times and I've passed them out to people who had the shakes. They help and they calm the stomach which is another withdrawal symptom.
Hope to hear lots more from you!
Hugs,
Kellye
I'm thrilled that you are here. Your english is AWESOME!!!!!
One other thing, if you get sick of chocolate milk try ice cream (preferably chocolate) or natural honey. I've been told that these help with the cravings a lot. My first sponsor, God rest her soul, told me to keep chocolate on me at all times. It helped and I've seen it help other newcomers. I personally keep peppermints on me at all times and I've passed them out to people who had the shakes. They help and they calm the stomach which is another withdrawal symptom.
Hope to hear lots more from you!
Hugs,
Kellye
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Aalborg
Posts: 15
holy cow, my wife is hooked on chocolate! I´ll try to nick some of her stash one of these days lol. It´s funny how the shakes can come and go. I have a strong fear of dinner situations where the cutlery turns into leathal weapons in my hands...I told this to my sponsor, and she laughed and told me to expect this to go on for a while.
Now, finally those monster drugs and the antibuse wore off and I can walk in a straight line and fell trees instead of innocent bystanders...Next hurdle is to inform my family and friends of my desicion. The battle goes on, but I guess if I don´t face my demons now they will haunt me forever. Just a pitty it has to be done before I can muster my beer induced confidence clear headed.
Never felt better, just s*** scared of meeting the people I demonstrated my drinking abilities to.
Now it´s time for a nice bit of kip.
Night night.
Detoxication
Now, finally those monster drugs and the antibuse wore off and I can walk in a straight line and fell trees instead of innocent bystanders...Next hurdle is to inform my family and friends of my desicion. The battle goes on, but I guess if I don´t face my demons now they will haunt me forever. Just a pitty it has to be done before I can muster my beer induced confidence clear headed.
Never felt better, just s*** scared of meeting the people I demonstrated my drinking abilities to.
Now it´s time for a nice bit of kip.
Night night.
Detoxication
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Aalborg
Posts: 15
*****! Managed to tell my dad I´m an alcoholic, and he totally accepted my decision to start a new life! What a relief, now I can concentrate on proving to my wife that I mean bussiness. God willing I´ll not fail in this. When my mum dried out 20 years ago, it took me ages to loose that distrust.
Now I think I´ll loose my ego trip here and go see what other people are talking about.
Thank you all for your support, reading your answers have enabled me to do difficult things in a difficult time. My demons have been faced, and guess what they turned out to be angels.
Detoxication
Now I think I´ll loose my ego trip here and go see what other people are talking about.
Thank you all for your support, reading your answers have enabled me to do difficult things in a difficult time. My demons have been faced, and guess what they turned out to be angels.
Detoxication
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
D, your enthusiasm is contagious. Many people begin their sober journey feeling that their prospects are grim. You communicate a lot of heart in your posts. Hang on to that, and buckle up -- it's one hell of a ride!
Peace & Love,
Sugah
P.S. Take a look at p. 25 in the Big Book and find the quote from my signature. That's what I mean by "buckle up!"
Peace & Love,
Sugah
P.S. Take a look at p. 25 in the Big Book and find the quote from my signature. That's what I mean by "buckle up!"
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: .
Posts: 299
hey detox, just read your posts - thanks! They're very moving and funny. I was in a similar place about six or seven weeks ago and I don't think I faced up to things with such energy or humor. Keep going, a day at a time... How long are meetings in Denmark? In Germany, a lot of German-speakers go to the English-speaking meetings, because the German ones are all two hours long...
peace, nl.
peace, nl.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Aalborg
Posts: 15
Peace to you too nolonger, I´ve only had the opportunity to attend one meeting so far, but they are all just one hour long. I´ll grab one on sunday, see if they have more coins he he...
As kellye D suggested, peppermints actually work! Only trouble is that my wife probably thinks I´m trying to hide something lol.
So far I´ve learned that chocolate, peppermints, chocolatemilk and ice cream are cool. So yesterday I did something I haven´t done since I was a kid:
I designed a HUGE cocktail of chocolatemilk and vanilla ice cream, chocolate on the side and followed by camomile tea with hunney. That felt so damned sinful I thought I was going to wake up with a hangover. Try it if you dare, it´s guaranteed to make you feel like you´re boozing lol.
Now it´s friday evening in Denmark (all you sneaky americans probably have a different day), and my usual drinking time...It feels like being on vacation with all this extra time and no worries about tomorrow. As Tom Hanks said in "saving private Ryan" I´m still keeping the rythm, and I´m having dinner with my dad tomorrow so I´m praying for no peas, chop sticks or soup.
Everybody is talking about recovering alcoholics, has anybody actually recovered yet? Just wondering....
Sugah, what is the Big Book? I want to read as much as I can.
One really great thing has happened to me. I´m a Reiki healer, and use it on myself daily. As someone once said: There has been a disturbance in the force! Well, now the energy is flowing freely and it SO usefull to calm myself and prepare for situations. If you are into alternative medicine, look into Reiki.
Have a nice weekend,
Detoxication
As kellye D suggested, peppermints actually work! Only trouble is that my wife probably thinks I´m trying to hide something lol.
So far I´ve learned that chocolate, peppermints, chocolatemilk and ice cream are cool. So yesterday I did something I haven´t done since I was a kid:
I designed a HUGE cocktail of chocolatemilk and vanilla ice cream, chocolate on the side and followed by camomile tea with hunney. That felt so damned sinful I thought I was going to wake up with a hangover. Try it if you dare, it´s guaranteed to make you feel like you´re boozing lol.
Now it´s friday evening in Denmark (all you sneaky americans probably have a different day), and my usual drinking time...It feels like being on vacation with all this extra time and no worries about tomorrow. As Tom Hanks said in "saving private Ryan" I´m still keeping the rythm, and I´m having dinner with my dad tomorrow so I´m praying for no peas, chop sticks or soup.
Everybody is talking about recovering alcoholics, has anybody actually recovered yet? Just wondering....
Sugah, what is the Big Book? I want to read as much as I can.
One really great thing has happened to me. I´m a Reiki healer, and use it on myself daily. As someone once said: There has been a disturbance in the force! Well, now the energy is flowing freely and it SO usefull to calm myself and prepare for situations. If you are into alternative medicine, look into Reiki.
Have a nice weekend,
Detoxication
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