i'm new here
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 6
i'm new here
hey.
well, this certainly ins't the beginning,
but it's where i've decided to start.
i'm new to this site.
i've been battling a number of addictions for a few years now,
that i am sure i will end up discussing when the time is right.
i'm scared of falling back in.
i'm scared of staying sober.
i'm just here to learn.
well, this certainly ins't the beginning,
but it's where i've decided to start.
i'm new to this site.
i've been battling a number of addictions for a few years now,
that i am sure i will end up discussing when the time is right.
i'm scared of falling back in.
i'm scared of staying sober.
i'm just here to learn.
Welcome!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 6
thanks a million for the responses, so far.
i didn't think that it would help to see the kindness of strangers over the internet...
but it does help.
it helps more than you know.
so, thank you.
i didn't think that it would help to see the kindness of strangers over the internet...
but it does help.
it helps more than you know.
so, thank you.
Guest
Posts: n/a
Welcome Aboard, Faderoxy! Glad to see a fellow Phoenecian. 
I think I felt some similar fears about sobriety too;
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...red-sober.html
(shameless plug for my thread)
I think I felt some similar fears about sobriety too;
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...red-sober.html
(shameless plug for my thread)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 6
firstly, i want to thank everyone for their replies.
secondly, i would like to offer a little bit about myself.
i am 23.
i started smoking pot when i was 13, around the same time i tried my first cigarette.
and still do if the oppotunity arises.
i was drinking and taking E just socially at age 15.
i started drinking every single day when i was 17.
usually stealing beers out of the refrigerator and filling water bottles with vodka from my parents private stash.
after high school, i tried spped for the first time.
ironically, getting most of it from my oldest sister, who was supposed to be watching over me that summer.
i started smoking speed on a regular basis.
when i was my first year of college, i was skipping most of my classes and relationshis weren't important to me.
i was getting trashed everyday and sleeping with a different person almost everynight.
went to a party a snorted cocaine for the first time.
i was hooked imediately.
but not for long...my life was in the gutter and i decided on my own (and with the help of a fantasic friend) that i was going to quit most of my vices.
i still dream of the drugs.
of the highs and of the lows.
i still want to destroy myself sometimes.
i still have nightmares of my childhood.
which i cannot speak of at this point.
i havent learned control.
heavy drinking most of the time and sometimes taking whatever i can...in the form of over the counter medicines.
i am in a great relationship now.
supportive.
but i am scared of relapsing.
i am scared of a life without drugs.
i have found calmness in james frey books.
some people might not like him for certain reasons...but it helps to open "a million little pieces" at any random page and feeling his despair is the same as mine.
the rest of my mind is blank right now.
secondly, i would like to offer a little bit about myself.
i am 23.
i started smoking pot when i was 13, around the same time i tried my first cigarette.
and still do if the oppotunity arises.
i was drinking and taking E just socially at age 15.
i started drinking every single day when i was 17.
usually stealing beers out of the refrigerator and filling water bottles with vodka from my parents private stash.
after high school, i tried spped for the first time.
ironically, getting most of it from my oldest sister, who was supposed to be watching over me that summer.
i started smoking speed on a regular basis.
when i was my first year of college, i was skipping most of my classes and relationshis weren't important to me.
i was getting trashed everyday and sleeping with a different person almost everynight.
went to a party a snorted cocaine for the first time.
i was hooked imediately.
but not for long...my life was in the gutter and i decided on my own (and with the help of a fantasic friend) that i was going to quit most of my vices.
i still dream of the drugs.
of the highs and of the lows.
i still want to destroy myself sometimes.
i still have nightmares of my childhood.
which i cannot speak of at this point.
i havent learned control.
heavy drinking most of the time and sometimes taking whatever i can...in the form of over the counter medicines.
i am in a great relationship now.
supportive.
but i am scared of relapsing.
i am scared of a life without drugs.
i have found calmness in james frey books.
some people might not like him for certain reasons...but it helps to open "a million little pieces" at any random page and feeling his despair is the same as mine.
the rest of my mind is blank right now.
Trying to do the right thing.
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Thanks Fade, for Sharing some of your stength's...!
Like has been said your not alone and this is just a begining for you...
Glad your Here n Happy your feeling good about sharing ...
Much Love to Ya Mrs...!
Like has been said your not alone and this is just a begining for you...
Glad your Here n Happy your feeling good about sharing ...
Much Love to Ya Mrs...!
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
(((((faderoxy))))) The posting will get easier as you see that we are here to support you. Thank you for sharing.
I just wanted to add my welcome to you. Glad you found us. There are folks here 24/7, so come on in any time. This is a great place for support and encouragment.
Keep coming back!!!
I just wanted to add my welcome to you. Glad you found us. There are folks here 24/7, so come on in any time. This is a great place for support and encouragment.
Keep coming back!!!
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Welcome faderoxy. I'm glad you are here to find strength and support. Facing life sober can be scary and difficult for most of us. You do not have to face this alone. There is a solution and a light at the end of the tunnel. Keep moving forward towards a happier way of life.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Welcome faderoxy. Thanks for sharing a little about yourself. It can be difficult and scary at first, but I have found it helps. The more I reveal my fears and concerns, the more support I get from people who know what it is like.
I'm so glad you have joined us and send lots of hugs and positive thoughts for your journey.
I'm so glad you have joined us and send lots of hugs and positive thoughts for your journey.
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