Party for Husband who will get Drunk

Old 09-16-2006, 11:28 AM
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Party for Husband who will get Drunk

Hi all,
Well today is the dreaded 40th bday party for my husband- I am dreading going over there- he will be drunk by the time we leave- I am so scared- but can't stop him from having fun- as he has come home time and again and found me passed out- so what can I do- how can I deal with it when I know I can't drink- I am scared - how do I think positive and still have a good time?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated- and thank you in advance. What can I and should I do.

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Old 09-16-2006, 11:42 AM
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There is no harm in going and making an appearance, then when you start to get uncomfortable, say to hubby "I wish you a very Happy Birthday, but I must leave now, this whole scene makes me very uncomfortable, and I value My Sobriety, see you at home later."

Take your own vehicle, so you can leave when you want, if you don't have one, take a 'sober' friend with so that both of you can leave when it (the party and the goings on) starts to make you antsy and uncomfortable.

You have to set boundaries for YOU, without your sobriety you will be nothing once again.

It is perfectly all right to put your sobriety first.


Love and hugs,
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Old 09-16-2006, 11:55 AM
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soda water with a lime in it looks like an actual drink.
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Old 09-16-2006, 12:04 PM
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Go with someone who's in the program so he/she can help you out in case you feel bad... and always have something on your hand, something to drink.
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Old 09-16-2006, 01:38 PM
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My experiences with this have included some key elements.

1. Pray and make sure I am spiritually fit before going somewhere that alcohol is served.

2. Talk to my sponsor, let her know what's going on and then call in periodically to check in with her. For me being in a room full of the smell of liquor was/is overwhelming so I take frequent fresh air breaks and call someone then.

3. I order ginger ale. I has that slightly off color that gives the appearance that there may be something in it. Most people could care less what you are or aren't drinking but it just made me more comfortable.

4. Have an escape hatch. If you get so uncomfortable that you just can't stand it anymore and need to leave then LEAVE.

5. If at all possible try to have a sober alcoholic to hang out with. Safety in numbers.

6. Continue to pray and remember what all of this "fun" you see these people having felt like and how sick we were afterwards.

7. Make yourself a designated driver. Nobody wants the DD to drink LOL!

8. Keep your glass in your hands at all times. If you have to put it down then smell it before taking a sip so you don't grab something else by mistake.

Come back on here and let us know how it goes. It won't be easy but it CAN be done so just take a deep breath and relax and remember you do not choose to live that way today!

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Old 09-16-2006, 03:22 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Grand Jct CO
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Really Jumpy

It is getting close to the party time- and I have been jumpy and nervous for the last hour- help- what can I do to calm down- and on top of it I have heartburn- help- any ideas- I feel so nauseated.

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Old 09-16-2006, 06:01 PM
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Try some deep breathing and positive self-talk.

Let us know how it goes.
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