2dayzmuse

I know the pain, the anxiety and the depression. I also couldn't imagine living life without drinking. I know it can be done. Many of us have done it and felt just the same as you. If we can do it, so can you. You said it yourself, you go back to your old way of thinking. We all do. What have you done to learn a new way of thinking? We have to learn what to do instead of picking up the drink.

wandering star

If you were drinking when you tried taking antidepressants, thats why they didnt work. You cant treat depression medically and drink at the same time. I was told this over and over by doctors and therapists...
Good luck. I hope you wake up and realize that it wasnt worth feeling as bad as you will tomorrow. Come back...

chip

I can't say I know EXACTLY how you feel, but I think I understand.

Please remember that you are not alone. You don't have to suffer alone either. Keep posting, and keep working on your recovery. You might not be ready to quit yet, but you can still get help and support on SR.

I was drinking when it was the last thing I wanted to do. I wanted to get sober, but I just didn't know how I could do it. I couldn't imagine never drinking again, let alone going more than 5 hours without a drink.

Beer was my drink of choice. I was in pain without it, and pain with it. I was suffering so much because I was torn. Everything in my life said I should quit, but my addiction to it kept me dialed in. I found every possible excuse to drink, and I even blamed my wife for my drinking.

I feel for you now, and I hope you feel better soon. Don't beat yourself up for drinking again. Anybody here could easily subcumb to the same temptation/pressure etc... We are addicts, and it is NORMAL for us to use our drug(s) of choice. It is really a miracle that I'm sober today. I give the credit to God and to AA. I couldn't do it alone.

You mentioned that AA doesn't work for you, and I'm not going to preach it to you now. Would you consider it as an option, even if it were your last option? If all else failed, would you try it again? Please don't feel like you have to write an answer to these questions. I only ask to get you to think about it. I was dead set against AA when I first started dealing with my drinking problem. I found that when I opened my heart and mind up, and became willing for ANYTHING to escape my pain... AA really changed my life. I was at the end of my rope, and I had no other options. AA was the LAST place I wanted to go, and it was the LAST thing I wanted to do.

It's tough to rough it out alone. I hope you find peace. I'll pray for you.
chip

c'est la vie

You can check out the SMART website to learn how to reprogram your thought responses, but it takes work. Quitting drinking and living sober takes effort. If you want it to work, then you must be willing to put forth the effort and not succumb so easily to the draw of the addictive thoughts. We all have these thoughts and we all fight against it. You have the power within you to fight against it too.

StrongR2Day

Please don't think nobody understands the pain you have been in, that will just isolate you emotionally from others in recovery. The truth is, those of us who have any hit bottom, really do know.

I went to AA for a couple of years on and off, loved the people, hated the program and staying sober. I gave up and just gave in to my drinking. Eventually it got so bad, I knew I had no choice but to return to AA, it was the last stop, the only game in town back then. I went every day, and each day I was surrounded by people that had been through it, or were new and going through it with me. I needed daily contact with other recovering alcoholics, it made me see I wasn't alone in my journey. I also went to therapy, and after awhile clean and sober, when things just weren't getting better, went on antidepressants as well.

And the good folks here are right, if you were drinking while taking meds, the meds just aren't going to work.

If AA isn't an option, try the other programs, but you have to really work whatever program you choose. The physical obsession leaves us in a relatively short period, it's the mental obsession that is the real hurdle to overcome.

You can do this.

BSPGirl

Zoloft + alcohol addiction problems = really bad combo.

It's hard to break a vicious circle, you are drinking, getting more depressed, drink more to 'cure' this depression cuz when you stay off the booze you'll feel crap cuz of the withdrawal, it's still doable tho, and eventually you will feel lotsa better. But it takes time and right now you're gonna feel blah for a while.

Marte

OnceNice

I'm here needstobe.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could all meet somewhere in the middle.

Have coffee or something. I feel so much closer to you all.

Sometimes I think it would help.
Maybe if I win the lottery

NEEDTOBESOBER

OnceNice,

that would be great if all of us could meet and I really overdid my drinking yesterday, feeling sick, but not as bad as this morning, I drank so many beers I lost count, I know this is not good, but didnt drink today and I think I am gonna call the doc and talk to her about some of my problems w/ my anxiety and depression and I am hoping they will give me some antidepressants or something to help me- cause I think the biggest problem i have is mental more than physical, the physical part is much easier for me to get through than the mental part and in a way I think I have always been depressed but didnt know it- I could be wrong but that is what I believe.

WEE DEE

I can relate to how you feel. I take anti depressants too - tried to stop and I thought I was going crazy. By other half would also like to seem me back on the booze. He has booze in the house every weekend and at first I felt like banging my head against a wall. Even just going to the meetings to get away from him helped plus by listening to others in a similar situation I learned how to handle it more calmly.

Take care.
D.XXX

NEEDTOBESOBER

are you saying you tryed quitting the antidepressants or booze or both?

TheodoreStew

Your username says it all, "Need To Be Sober". Because you do. Your very life and soul depend on it.

Three years ago my wife threatened to leave me if I didn't stop drinking. I stopped, and I thought I would die. I was drinking a fifth of vodka (at least) every day.

My turning point was Alcoholics Anonymous. It was there where I learned how to recover. I'm Roman Catholic, and I called upon God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit for help. I couldn't have done it without them. There are forces beyond us, benevolent ones, that we must call upon to free us from what has become an evil obsession, possession that takes our mind and physical bodies.

In about 5 days I was already feeling better, and it was all downhill from there. God and AA pulled me through, and got me sober. The veil was lifted, and I saw the beauty and majesty of life once again. The life I remembered as a child, as a young person, when there was always happiness and hope around every thought, every emotion. Alcohol addiction robs us of that hope.

I will pray for you. I have new problems now, but they are not related to alchohol, which was the worst problem from which to break free. Please try to be strong, and save yourself from the hell we all know you're in. God bless you, and ask God for strength. He will give it to you.

ventuhome

Some people have messed up pancreases. They are called Diabetic. Some people have messed up thyroids. They are called Hypothyroid. And some people have imbalances of neurochemicals in various parts of their brains. They are Serotonin or Dopamine Deficient. People wouldn't think of telling an addict to stop taking their insulin or their Synthroid. Why would an SSRI be any different? For the SSRI deficient, drugs and alcohol affect their neurochemical levels, so they may need to adjust their dose during withdrawal. And its possible over time they will need to take less of an SSRI when they become sober for a long period. But IMO its no different if you have diabetes or hypothyroidism or depression due to an inborn deficiency of serotonin. Kick the booze, go on medication, and be patient with them, it takes up to six weeks on them to get a normal level of serotonin in your brain.

WEE DEE

Need to be Sober - re your question.

I tried to quit BOTH at the same time. I reckon I was listening to the wrong people in AA at the time. A lot were saying things along the lines of even prescribed drugs being wrong. And as I felt so good of the booze I reckoned I didn't need my anti-depressants so I, in my wisdom, decided to go cold turkey without consulting my doc.

What a nightmare. I will never do that again. I felt as if I was going crazy. For now I'll stick with my anti-depressants. I'd suggest that anyone on prescribed medication should consult their doctor and not do what I did.