NEEDTOBESOBER

Too much stress, anxiety,pain and every other emotion possible, so I gave in and dranka few beers maybe I can start over when I am ready but for now I am not ready - this is killing me not ot drink so I picked up some beer - I know I need help, but husband is enabling me on top of my son, I just wanna scream cause I have good intentions-please pray for me that I can quit someday soon!!

NEEDTOBESOBER

I will still try but i have so many problems right now noone really knows the pain I have been in not drinking and I will still look at the posts - any suggestions other than AA cause I tryed that befor e- doesnt work for me.

Anna

I'm sorry Needtobesober, I know this is hard.

When you are ready to stop, you know that we are here. I hope that you can come to a place where you will take care of yourself and not let your husband influence you. You're worth it!

Anna

I DO know the pain you have been in not drinking. I can still remember vividly the way I felt when I stopped drinking. It was horrible, absolutely awful to look at myself and what a mess my life was. I thought the pain would kill me. But, it didn't. And, I got through each day. And you can do that too. You can!

dalin

Im Glad You Are Here
Dont Give Up On You......
We Wont

NEEDTOBESOBER

thank you for your inspiration and I know I can do it but maybe on my own time , I don't know, I have anxiety issues and depression, dont know maybe I have always been depressed and dint know it cause of the alcohol and I try to talk to family members and they dont understand at least I dont think they do.

aasharon90

Why is ur husband enabling u? Doesnt he want u to be sober? isnt he tired of ur ups and downs with alcohol? I know my husband doesnt want me to go back to drinking because even tho we have some trying times today, its nothing compared to what i was when i was drinking....sure he misses the fun, spur the moment women he married 24 yrs ago, but im sure he doesnt miss me staying out late at night at who know where, with who knows who, doing who knows what. He doent miss getting that scare in the middle of the night with the police calling saying ur wife was in a bad accident right around the corner from you, can u meet her at the hospital, shes in terrible shape...dont know if she will make it or not. Or having to get him out of work because i tried to end my life and know one knows what to do with me. Boy did i put my family thru hell back then.

I didnt get sober on my own. I had help from AA and my family. Yes my family is normal and can drink nOrmally, but out of RESPECT they dont drink in front of me nor have booze in the house to be a temptation for me if im in a bad place.

Sure they dont understand exactly what an alcoholic is and the disease we have because they are not one. But they sure know my behavior and they say.... NO THANK YOU TO MY WIFE AND MOM AND DRINKING.

Anna

If you have ongoing anxiety and depression, it could be caused by the alcohol and will go away awhile after you stop drinking.

If, the anxiety and depression were already there, and in my case, 'caused' the drinking, then you need to talk to your dr. There are great medications available.

CarolD

Many of us have had false starts in recovery.

Try again and then again and then again.
It took me 4 years to finally quit.

Hugs

NEEDTOBESOBER

I think he thinks that if I drink in moderation or say like on the weekends that I will be ok and also I think cause he sees how depressed and unhappy I am when I dont drink that he does not like seeing that part of me and so he thinks if I drink a little that is ok, but it doesnt make sense he went through me getting 2 DWI's within a couple of years and a PI and finding out I was with another man in the Pi incident- I just think he does not understand and since I cant drive right now that he does not worry about such things, but he has mentioned worrying about how i will behave when I can drive again so he really confuses me on top of the fact he is unstable -was diagnosed at one point with bipolar disorder but he is in denial when it comes to that.

Little Missy

Nobody understands an alcoholic like another alcoholic does. It just doesn't happen. We seem to have different thought processes.

Recovery is not easy. If it was, everyone would be doing it!! LOL I would cry and scream and pout!! I hated people who could drink "normally", and I hated myself. I thought I would never laugh again!! It sucked, but I never want to go back to the way my life was.

Give yourself a chance at a better life!! It's there, if you want it!!

UnusedPortion

I have heard in AA it takes every drink you have to get sober.

I hate to hear that you are in this misery, I know what it's like to drink because you have to. I totally stopped even liking alcohol, started crying when the buzz came on and started trying to chase the feelings of happiness I used to feel with more booze. I have no right to judge your husband, but it seems like he is getting something out of your drinking. I don't know if it's a drinking buddy, or a guilt stricken compliant wife, or what. When you have had enough this go-round, please make sure you have a support plan in place. I am really good at quitting, I did it a few times a month! I am awestruck by the support and hope I have found in AA. I wish I could convey the transformation I hear in the stories of the women I meet. I have a new friend for the first time in so long and she is awesome. I know I might relapse and I am starting to get tools to work on that. Just hang in there!!!! Recovery is there when you are ready!

NEEDTOBESOBER

THANKS FOR EVERYONES SUPPORT- I guess one of my problems is I have been drinking for so long I cannot contemplate the thought of never drinking again since I like it so much and I know they say one day at a time and I tryed that and I just keep going back to my old ways of thinking and in a way I think it is more mental than physical cause I can go awhile without drinking but my mind does a job on me or something and I think I need to drink- does anyone else feel this way?

ibhmn

Have you tried anti depressant meds?--I've heard they can help with cravings for alcohol and for anxiety as well as depression of course...

NEEDTOBESOBER

I have tried Paxil and Lexapro but with both they stopped working after awhile and forget Zoloft cause it made my anxiety worse and had to go to the hospital but I am thinking of asking the doc for a different type of antidepressant.

Ngokpa

Alcohol messes with your nervous system, and stresses us out, but most of the stress comes when we're detoxing (not drinking), so we don't see it. It takes a while before we get out of the cycle.

One option is acupuncture, which isn't a replacement for recovery groups but can help with withdrawals. They might give you herbs which should also help (and don't get you high). Another option is nutrition; often sugar and caffeine make recovery more difficult. You might want to google "alcoholism" and "nutrition". And there have been times when I was ready to drink when I got a massage instead. Whatever gets you through the day.

Anna

With the antidepressants, it took 3 tries to find the right one for me, and then 3 dosage adjustments. Don't give up! There will be one that will work for you.

And, you're right about the mental aspect of not drinking. It's a huge part of it and it's an ongoing journey. But, you can do it.

Done_With_It

Of course you do. Soon enough in your own time you will be ready. It takes each of us our own time to be ready to be ready.



I may not know your exact pain, but I know close enough to the pain.
When I stopped meth, I was closer to suicide than I had ever been, and I physically ached as well. I also thought if I had to live without meth, then what was the point of living. It was a lonely, horrible time, that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.




I too have been diagnosed with depression, gad, bipolar, ptsd, eating disorder, and cutting, and I lossed my insurance so I have no meds.
You can get through and do anything you set your mind to. I did much
better on meds, but I'm proof that once you make up your mind that you
want something, and your going to do it. You can do it.
It's not easy, it's hard, I struggle often. But it's doable.



Meds aren't a cure all, when you find something that works, it's amazing, but you do have to stay on top of them. When they stop working sometimes you do have to switch. If your seeing your pych the way your supposed to they should be keeping up with what's going on with you, and adjust them if necessary. Are you in therapy also?

I know my cousin gets put on meds and sometimes they work sometimes they don't. She gets mad when they don't or stop working, but she doesn't go to therapy, and she only sees her pysch when she wants new drugs. I say the same thing every time, well you don't take any personal responsibility for your own health, don't blame it on the doctor.

I'm not saying your doing that. I just think being on meds is a responsibility that we all need to take personally as well.

Hang in there. Keep trying. Just don't give up. We're still here for ya!

Erin

Just a suggestion and I'm not sure if you've tried this but I'll put it out there.

How about therapy? I can only speak for myself but if I didn't see my therapist especially gearing up to quit and when I quit then it would have been incredibly hard. I don't think anyone can quit alone on will power. Maybe there are some people who can't but I couldn't.

I also saw my doc which helped too.

Withdrawals are horrible but once you get through them there is light.

For me it has been literally one day at a time and fortunately the days are easier now.

IndigoNA

Why don't you try inpatient treatment... I think it's the best thing you can do. I went in it for 7.5 months, I'm almost getting to my first year counting the time I was in treatment.