IndigoNA

I'm tired of AA, I think they make you fear drugs/alcohol, can someone stay sober without any program? I know there are alternative programs out there, but how about without a program, is that possible?

If so how?

GreenTea

Tired of AA? As in fed up with always talking about nothing else except alcoholism? ... "Yes, yes... don't drink... got it, now can we move on to something else?" sort of thing?

I can understand that, and I've only just begun. But I keep on going back because I know its helping me and I almost always feel better after a meeting. Not "always", but "almost always".

Try supplementing the meetings with other activities. Right now my entire social life consists of AA meetings, chatting with people afterwards, and coming to this site.

I know it won't be like that forever. I will have a "social life" again, (or perhaps for me its "finally"). But I'm not giving up my meetings either.

Perhaps find other activities and keep AA as a "therapy". The meetings become a foundation upon which to build. The program doesn't have to "consume" you -- there isn't a time limit or a deadline. Its a process, not a goal, and you have the whole rest of your life to do it.

For me, the main point is to simply not drink anymore, and all I expect out of AA is help towards that end, (and reminding me how much I have to fear from alcohol use helps). I don't expect AA to "make me happy again" -- that part is up to me. The steps can help towards that end, but for me right now, the primary purpose of AA is to simply help me to not drink anymore.

Hope this helps.

Anna

Yes, you can be sober without a program. I have been sober for more than 5 years, using my own 'program'. SR is a great source of support for me.

And, I do fear alcohol. It will kill me, if I let it.


This is a link to alternative programs:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ives-info.html

c'est la vie

I don't want to be consumed with AA and I'm trying to find my own personal ways of coping with troubling times in a day. Sometimes that means using the tools specific to AA and sometimes not. I do go to meetings but not as often as my sponsor suggests. I call women from the program once in a while but not every day like someone suggests.

There are so many tools out there and it seems like it would not be very difficult to pick and choose from among the many recovery methods to find the collection that works for you. As long as you put them to work.

Lizrox

I am doing fine without AA/NA. I am using SR as an outlet and taking it one day at a time.

I DO believe that there is a lesser chance for relapse if you attend meetings and have a sponser..

Good Luck to you...

NEEDTOBESOBER

sO FAR I am doing ok without AA, and relying on SR, and this is my 16th day of being sober, I may decide to go to AA after I get my driver's license back but I am not sure, I went to a couple about a year and a half ago, and everyone would just keep talking about the same stories and it was the same thing for most people who spoke although I think it would help me to go sometimes.

HobbyHorse

- As a newbie I sure can't answer your question but I wonder the same thing often. I opted not to go to a rehab because of my pathological need to be in control, and my hatred of anyone saying I'm powerless. I make bad decisions, I suffer the consequences, I have to fix it. (drinking and painkillers just happen to be my longest standing, worst decision)

I do say the serenity prayer each morning and night and what it tells me is:
I believe that I have the power and courage to be sober without a program - and the wisdom to ask for help if that time comes.

Sobriety1st

I think every individual and their beliefs is what brings them to a program or not to a program..i know for me, i tried to do it my way, by myself, and became a prisoner of my own home, and then I tried AA, and I am no longer a prisoner, and i am learning each day a new design for living my life..i had to find the meetings that i felt comfortable with, people i feel comfortable with, but i couldn't do it alone, although my husband hasn't had a drink in 17 yrs. and never went to AA, he said he done "his own program", and it worked for him, but, IMO, He still has a lot of unresolved underlying issues, problems, ghosts, whatever you want to call it, that he never dealt with..but for me, AA is what works, SR, is a community of great people who help one another, So, i am grateful for both..

BSPGirl

Yes it's possible to get sober/control an addiction without following a program, many ppl manage to do so really. My stepmom just quit smoking without any help at all too.

Marte

Candy Scratch

Indigo,
I am trying to do this without one official program, but rather bits and pieces from wherever I can. Others have said that it is possible and I pray that it is too. I am reading whatever I can find on the topic - Under the Influence, Beyond the Influence, Sober for Good, etc. etc. etc. I find the forums here incredible - and I read or scan through all of the forums for different perspectives and since I fall into a few different categories. I read some posts from children of alcoholics here that made me think of my own kids and what they might write some day and boy, did that act as a deterrent.

I think it is definitely possible, but you have to surround yourself with support from other sources.

Hugs,
Candy Scratch

Candy Scratch

When I just read this HobbyHorse, I felt as if my eyes were opened. Maybe this is one reason why I find some of the things about AA difficult to swallow. I, too, seem to have a pathological need to control things...but then, maybe this is something that needs to be let go too. I think I can control things about myself and how I act or react, but I cannot (and should let go of the idea that I can) control what happens in the world at large or the people around me.

Thanks for helping me think of it this way.

Candy Scratch

scootinbabe

I'm a newbie too, so I don't know about all the programs. I have tried to do it on my own many times. The difference is that, now, I am reaching out. I am reading all I can to learn about alcoholism. I am going to meetings and coming here. So far, so good!

I think you do whatever works for you. For me, I experimented to some extent and nothing worked. Stay tuned for this try! I'm very hopeful!

The Guzler

I went to AA/NA for a couple of months and it helped me to get on the right track 4 sure, but i quickly got sick of the repetative aspect of it, people I dont know staring at me, making me feel uncomfortable, I never really ever made a friend there. Sometimes some people said some really stupid stuff too. And i am convinced that some people just go because they dont have a life and they are bored and lonley.Dont get me wrong, it is a great program and it helped me, its been the same for 100 years. The big book is great and I have a copy. I go to church, I find that to be very helpfull in living my life, jesus is such an awsome role model. The preacher always has something good to say. When i leave there im on cloud nine 4 sure. Plus this forum is kind of an AA if you think about it, lol. Keep comin back.

Musky

Put another mark in the without an "official" program column. I, too, am using this site and bits and pieces of this and that to get myself through. People here are so nice and understanding, as are my family and friends. I am at 26 days and it seems to actually be getting easier. Being able to vent and tell my story here has been very important, and in fact I have probably not appropriately expressed my thanks to those who have reached out to me in these forums. I'm assuming it's similar to telling your story at an AA meeting. The one day at a time idea has also been very important. I try to keep the long term thoughts about never being able to drink again out of my mind.

I have complained about that on this site, and been vigorously reminded not to think in those terms which has been a great help. I can honestly say that some of the anxiety associated with quitting has faded, espescially since I've now spoken with my wife at length on several different occasions about taking my sobriety one day at a time.

Good luck to you. Even though I am not following an "official" program, it's become apparent to me that a support system is an absolute must if I am going to successfully keep alcohol out of my life. If you have strong support, and realize its value, I feel you could be successful also.

Thanks everyone.

Kevin

Done_With_It

Yup lots of people do. Here's a thread that may interest you.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

leviathon

Ditto on DWI's comment. I do it everyday. Don't feel like you have to have a program, but they can be very helpful. I do also use some of the materials from a lot of the programs, but I have my own way of doing things.

For me, SR is the program or as close to one as it gets.

Peace, Levi

German69

I have gone to AA meetings in the past and actually found them very helpful in my situation. However, I have a very busy daily life with my large family, and very little time to consistantly go to meetings. I have managed to stay sober for long periods of time without a program. I'm a control freak as well and have manged to "control" and even eliminate my drinking for long periods of time. However, I have recently found out that some things in life are out of my control when I was faced with a major life and death stressor affecting my family. I feel helpless and out of control and it makes me want to drink because I want to feel in control...but, of course, it's backfiring. This is my second day without drink and all I can do at this point is hope and pray that I will be able to deal with this problem on my own once again.
I'd say it is possible for some to stick to their own program. But I wouldn't close the door on AA. Knowing that I can go there anytime makes me feel safer.
Good luck!

Erin

Hi
I went to one meeting and have not ruled AA out. I met a few very nice women - one of which I called when I quit this time. She was awesome!!!

I have not gone since because I have my therapist, doctor, friends, and family. In a way I think they've substituted AA. My first few weeks I was speaking to friends and family nightly - not just about drinking but also about everything else. Therapist has been great and same with the doctor. I've also gleamed lots of insight and encouragement on this website.

So I think it's personal. I have the Big Book (mom bought it for me) and I've read it as well as a few others.

I wouldn't rule out AA though.

one of

Hi Indigo,

I'd say yes to your question. If you are not all tied up with self . . . that is, if you get most of your enjoyment in living from enjoying being of service to others . . . if you have no problems with boredom, envy, lust, laziness, depression, or anger and resentment, then I strongly suspect that you can stay sober without any program at all . . . so long as you feel calm, serene, and at home in the universe on a daily basis.

If you do not presently have the kind of life above, even then you might still be able to stay sober without a program. You could trade in booze for ice cream and pizza whenever you needed added enjoyment in being alive. You could take up gambling on a big time basis if life seems too boring. Perhaps experimenting with kinkier and kinkier sex would work. There are other escapes from growing along spiritual lines out there, and they all seem to work for a while at least in staving off the feelings which come from not wanting to become willing to be moved by truth from egoism towards humility. You don't have to use mind altering chemicals which lower your social inhibitions and cause you the embarrassing and guilt ridden days which require more booze to forget.

The twelve step program of AA (now also used for gamblers, overeaters, sex addicts, etc.) are for those who got themselves into a similar position to that of the prodigal son of biblical fame. When, as a young jewish man, he had chased happiness down wrong roads to the point where he was slopping hogs for a living, he saw clearly that even his father's servants had lots better lives than he was now living, and decided to return home and ask his father for a job as a servant.

He had been driven by his ego-neediness to accept a humbling attitude towards his existence, Indigo. When that day comes in anyone's life, then they can finally see the wisdom in changing their attitudes concerning what is and what isn't important in being alive. That is when a willingness to let oneself be moved from the loneliness and inability to love others which is egoism towards the communal spirit and joy in loving others which is humility not only looks like a wise and prudent way to go, but also can be seen to offer, possibly, the only way out of this frustrating business of daily life.

And certainly AA's twelve step program is not the only program which can point one in the direction of making use of daily life to grow along spiritual lines. For me, however, it was the exact fit exactly when I needed it, and from the day I walked through the doors of AA on 21 May 1975, when compared to my life for its first 41 years (minus 41 days), I can honestly say, "I've lived happily ever after."

Love and Blessings - Chuck

Sugah

I don't fear drugs and alcohol any more than I fear driving down the interstate going the wrong way at 150mph or jumping from a bridge into a foot & a half of water or being exposed to an infectuous and fatal disease.

In AA, I learned that so long as I don't put alcohol (and drugs) into my body, I don't have anything to fear. Then, I learned how not to pick up the first one by taking the steps.

Just curious...how long has it taken you to become "tired of AA" ?

Peace & Love,
Sugah