Lixies Journal Part 2
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,786
Hi guys, thanks for checking up on me.
I am OK, but some things have changed. I made it to seven months last week, and then my wife and I decided to have a test. Some of you might remember that I have had issues with the term "alcoholic", and like many, many others I have wanted to see if I can have a "normal" relationship with alcohol. We made a concious decision to drink some alcohol, to see what would happen.
Nothing bad happened, we had a nice evening with champagne and some wine, but I feel the longing for more, and I have to face the truth, that I am indeed addicted to alcohol. So, I have no desire to test this further, we did it, and we have learned from that.
I am not thinking of this as a relapse, and I am not going back to counting days. That will only make things worse for me. I am instead grateful that I am able to learn from this and that I can go right back to a sober lifestyle, because that is the best life for me.
I am OK, but some things have changed. I made it to seven months last week, and then my wife and I decided to have a test. Some of you might remember that I have had issues with the term "alcoholic", and like many, many others I have wanted to see if I can have a "normal" relationship with alcohol. We made a concious decision to drink some alcohol, to see what would happen.
Nothing bad happened, we had a nice evening with champagne and some wine, but I feel the longing for more, and I have to face the truth, that I am indeed addicted to alcohol. So, I have no desire to test this further, we did it, and we have learned from that.
I am not thinking of this as a relapse, and I am not going back to counting days. That will only make things worse for me. I am instead grateful that I am able to learn from this and that I can go right back to a sober lifestyle, because that is the best life for me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,072
Hi Lixie,
I'm glad that you updated us. I, amongst many, fell for the myth that abstinence equals control. After 4 years sober, I figured surely I could manage to moderate.
It's taken me far too long to embrace a completely different, realistic and healthy mindset. I don't care for the word "alcoholic" either. But whatever way you look at it, we became addicted to an addictive substance which is ubiquitous and glamourized in our society. It wasn't our fault, but with new knowledge, we can do something about it, and make better choices.
Wishing you strength and resolve as you return to the sober path!
I'm glad that you updated us. I, amongst many, fell for the myth that abstinence equals control. After 4 years sober, I figured surely I could manage to moderate.
It's taken me far too long to embrace a completely different, realistic and healthy mindset. I don't care for the word "alcoholic" either. But whatever way you look at it, we became addicted to an addictive substance which is ubiquitous and glamourized in our society. It wasn't our fault, but with new knowledge, we can do something about it, and make better choices.
Wishing you strength and resolve as you return to the sober path!
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