Stubbs16

Well I'm back. Have alot to discuss. This year has been the absolute worst...and I've had so many bad ones. But I'm still here and alive. Have hope for a better tomorrow. And for that I'm grateful 🙏

Today was bad because hubs is still in horrible pain. No wonder. 3 surgeries since February and 6 weeks of immunotherapy. His poor bladder is like a piece of raw meat. He got some pain meds finally because I insisted on it but he's been half dosing them. To save them for worse times.So it's not working properly. What?? That's insane. He doesn't drink at all or drug. Seems doctors just don't want to give out pain meds.. period. I say rubbish! That's what they are there for. If you can't get them when you have cancer pain I don't know what else would qualify. Seriously...

Men seem to have a problem asking or telling doctors about things. I just dont understand that at all.

It's been a long hard year but I've survived and I will on keeping on doing so. Tomorrow is our 40th wedding anniversary 💕 .

Can't believe it! Good times and bad we still are alive and grateful. Had alot of dark hard years but we have made it thus far and looking forward to many more. It will happen.

Thanks to everyone for your support always. 🙏 ❤️

Stubbs16

Yes Hon he has cancer just reached the 3 month check free. Next biggie is 6 months. But I believe he is healed by the grace of the God. I believe. He will always have to get check ups but I do choose to believe he is healed. Hallelujah!

Stubbs16

If you have faith less then a mustard seed...

That's me. It's happening.

Stubbs16

Thank you so much ! 💓

Stubbs16

Tomorrow being our anniversary I really invisioned myself in an exotic location. With my big lost diamond ring. Tomorrow I will go to work. I don't feel upset at all about this. I'm just happy my husband is getting better. The celebration can come later. Being grateful 🙏 for even small and big things matters. No more pity party.

venuscat

Happy Anniversary love. ❤️

Dee74

Thats good news about your husband Stubbs - good to see you too - and happy anniversary

Leshar I wish I had words to help...I really do...but you have my thoughts prayers and best wishes - you've come through this before and I believe you can again...lean in us when you need to

D

Alpine

AWWW, Leshar, I am so sorry you are struggling with depression. Have depression off and on and it can be debilitating that is for sure.I wish I had words of wisdom for you, I have had to muddle through it and in the past drank too to escape the feeling only to find it still there and my depression far worse. Of course, I am only speaking for myself and my experiences. Big hug to you.
Stubbs, once again, so happy to see you back and posting.

Stubbs16

Hey friends. Early morning here and it's a rainy cloudy day. Hopefully the weather will cool off a bit. I'm about ready to get my decaff and get ready for my day. Hubs still having pain issues and it's hard to see him so. Hopefully docs will refill his meds.

Hope everyone is doing well. Will be checking in from time to time. Make it a great one .

Alpine

Hi Stubbs!

Dropped Mr. A off at the airport so now it is just Riley pup, my MIL and me. I do have to go over and help my Mom today. We got a ton of rain and a big storm last night so now Riley is sound asleep. He is not a fan of thunder. I have some errands to do today, going to the liquor store is NOT one of them.

Leshar

Hello dear friends,
Thank you for all the support. I don't know what to do next. I can't hardly get out of bed. My abdominal ultrasound was normal.

venuscat

If you call 988, you can talk to a professional love. Please consider it. s

Meanwhile, I am here for you, sending you my number. xxxxxxxxx ❤️❤️

Alpine

Awww, Leshar, big hug to you. Feel free to PM me. I will be here off and on all day. It is keeping me on the path I need to be on.

venuscat

Sending more love to you to Alpine honey. I know this is a tough week for you. ❤️

Alpine

There is a situation with my MIL that is driving Mr. A and myself crazy with..and he does not want to mention it to her. Sigh..

venuscat

That is pretty hard for you. s

Chevy123

Hi everyone.

Stubbs that's great news about hubby. I'm absolutely buzzing for you both. Tell Mr Stubbs Well done for kicking that Big C's ass 👍💪.. And a massive happy anniversary to you both 👏 ❤

Leshar so sorry your feeling down. Wishing you a better day tomorrow xx

Hope everyone else is doing good.

Bed time in my little corner of the world so I will catch you all very soon ✌❤

Good night all.

venuscat

Nite Chevy, sweet dreams. s xx

Leshar

Hello friends,
Thank you, dear Suze, I have the information.
I just don't know what to do. I drove to an AA meeting this evening, but I couldn't make myself go in. I would love to have some sober friends in real life, but I don't know that AA is a fit for me, and I had an unfortunate experience there a while ago. I'm so lonely and can't bear it. I dread seeing people I know at AA, especially a director whose play I was in a couple of years ago. He told me he was a recovering alcoholic and used AA terminology, so I know he attends AA, or at least I imagine he does still. I drove to a Walmart instead and just browsed, and feel even more detached from people. It's like a glass wall that's constantly there and I'm looking through, but can't connect.
I just feel so dead inside. It's not healthy to spend 99% of my time alone, but my hobbies/volunteer opportunities have dried up due to Covid. But really, I always struggle and I'm so tired of it. At least I had a shower and got cleaned up today, so that I could go to the AA meeting, which I didn't attend. I don't know what the answer is. I've lost all joy. I'm sorry for all the misery.

venuscat

I think that you really need to be proud of yourself for your efforts today. You did get up, and showered, and went out. It is a huge deal to manage all of that when we are depressed.

I hear you, and I am going to give it some thought. I want to help you find a way to feel more connected.

More love. s xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ❤️