Willow00

Welcome Simplicity and Rem!

Willow00

Congratulations on day 8 Becky!

I’m just starting day 9 this morning

I had some really bizarre dreams last night. Some were quite awful, I really need to be careful what I read and what I see on TV before bed. I don’t generally watch TV much but I happened to see something scary when I was talking to my partner while he was watching TV and I think it continued to my scary dreams. I also dreamed that I bought wine on my credit card. I’m glad none of it was real! Phew!

venuscat

s ❤️

venuscat

No tv in the bedroom for me....I wouId take aII of those images into my brain and have weird dreams every night. s

Hope you have a great Wednesday WiIIow Iove. ❤️

Dee74

Welcome to you Sim and REM...and to you too Becky

D

Willow00

Thanks Suze I have today off work so I’m really happy about that, I have quite a few things to do, like clean the pool and vacuum my car out and get some groceries lol, fun stuff

We don’t have a TV in the bedroom, no way. My partner suggested it once and I vetoed it very quickly lol. He likes when we stay in a hotel room that he can lay in bed and watch tv, but that’s a rare event lately due to travel restrictions. Nope the TV stays in the lounge at home

CaptainCrow

Hiya everyone so good to see you all making such progress. I've finished 16 days now and it's been up and down but an upward zigzag I would say. I am performing a lot better at work and the last two days have had a fearsome amount of energy. Still get the AV, always at witching hour but sometimes at other random times too. I think it's when I'm not busy. The devil makes work for idle hands maybe? Lol.

Willow68 you sound like you are putting concrete things in place to nurture yourself like your protein shakes and visiting your mum and getting your chores done.

Venuscat I love your garden! It looks so pretty!

Becky7 I am totally with you feeling emotional. I cry a lot. But I have a lot of regrets. I was always too drunk to examine them previously.

Things that are helping me right now:

• ​yoga This helps both physically and mentally.
• Reading Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance. I am encouraging myself to have a more patient mind. It is slow progress but I even managed to wash the dishes mindfully the other day.
• Opera. Loudly. Just takes me out of my doldrums. It's impossible to feel neutral or apathetic when listening to opera. You can get really good opera recordings very cheap now because nobody buys CDs any more.
• Being accountable to you lovely people here. You all rock.

Dee74

congrats CaptCrow - and welcome from me

D

CaptainCrow

Thanks Dee74. I didn't think I could do this!

Willow00

16 days is great CaptainCrow! Awesome going
Your list looks like a good solid plan too

freedomfries

Good morning. It's day 6.

really wanted a drink yesterday but my local off licence won't serve me after I collapsed outside last week. I was too anxious to walk further to the next one. I thought about going to the pharmacy next door for mouthwash but instead I prayed and waited for the voices to go away. My mental health is rapidly deteriorating so it feels like I might as well drink. I have no future.

Dee74

I think focusing on improving your mental health is a way better alternative to drinking FF....and will lead to a good future.
After all if drinking helped, you wouldn't be here on SR...right?

D

freedomfries

I think my mental health is beyond repair, but I want to stay sober for my parents. If they weren't around I'd drink myself into oblivion.

CaptainCrow

Hey so you're telling yourself that your mental health is irrepairable so why not drink, though if you think about it this is the opposite of how you're acting and what you've identified as your desire plus no doctor alive would say this to you because however bad the voices are drinking makes them worse, so this is the booze's perspective. And the booze is what's messed your hand up and got you upset so this booze isn't your friend and doesn't bear listening to.

freedomfries

Yeah I know booze won't make me feel better but it'd be nice to be blacked out for a few hours. But of course god knows what I'd do blacked out. Send people erratic texts, hurt myself again, who knows?

If I can make it through today it'll be a week tomorrow so I'm holding on for that. Going to pray and meditate a lot today to get me through.

MantaLady

You’re doing fantastically CaptainCrow!! Keep it up xx

Freedom, my mental health was hanging by a thread a few weeks ago. I really couldn’t see a way out, felt I was broken beyond repair so what was the point in staying sober. After 9 days AF I am by no means fixed and it’s not all unicorns and rainbows but I am coping better, the darkness is not so black and consuming and a little hope has crept in. Stick with it, you deserve a better life for yourself xx

Day 9 here and things are levelling out, sleeping well, the feelings of despair and hopelessness are lifting (not gone but not so consuming) and generally feeling a bit more positive. Knowing I have an appointment in a few weeks with an alcohol support service is helping with motivation, I want to try and get some counselling to deal with the reasons I drink and some confidence building so we’ll see what they can offer.

Hope everyone is keeping strong and take care xx

freedomfries

Glad you're feeling better MantaLady

countrystix

Starting day 7 today and just checking in. I have an in person appointment with a counselor this afternoon for some additional help and accountability.

Congrats on 16 days CaptainCrow!

FF, I've seen a family member come back from some very difficult mental challenges, so hang in there.

Have a good day everyone.

venuscat

Oh!!! I missed your week Iove....back t the 24 hr thread I go to fix that! And congrats! s

freedomfries

My psychiatrist just prescribed me more Ativan to help with the voices. So hopefully I'll be a bit better moving forward.