Class of May 2020 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,844
Reading through the F&F forum, I'm so ashamed of my behaviour over the last few years. It hurts to think about.
I hope it's not too late to repair relationships. But I know I'll have to give it time and stay sober for that.
I hope it's not too late to repair relationships. But I know I'll have to give it time and stay sober for that.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Originally Posted by venuscat 
Sorry you are feeling down sweetie. 
s
I wrote something in Gabe's thread yesterday that I thought might have been too heavy, a bit too real if you like.
Basically, there can come a point where you no longer have the choice you have now.
You may get as sick as I did if you keep going. And I don't want you to have consequences like that.
You feel good now....my suggestion is to build on that.....new hobbies, adding new stuff to your life until you have no time to be bored even in a lockdown. Bit of tongue in cheek there....smiling here. I know it's hard not to be tired of this. I certainly am.
Love you to pieces. ❤️
sI wrote something in Gabe's thread yesterday that I thought might have been too heavy, a bit too real if you like.
Basically, there can come a point where you no longer have the choice you have now.
You may get as sick as I did if you keep going. And I don't want you to have consequences like that.
You feel good now....my suggestion is to build on that.....new hobbies, adding new stuff to your life until you have no time to be bored even in a lockdown. Bit of tongue in cheek there....smiling here. I know it's hard not to be tired of this. I certainly am.
Love you to pieces.
❤️
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,460
Worked myself to exhaustion yesterday in the garden. Weeding, getting beds ready with compost, planted my tomatoes and.built a small strawberry patch. Rabbits were eating all.my strawberries so i put in a small raised bed and surrounded it with chicken wire to keep the rascals out.
I have some squash, peppers and cukes to go in today. I'm building up a raised bed in a low wet area of my garden.
A bit cold here thebpast few days, cant wait for the heat to return but its good yard work weather.
I haven't been watching much news either. Its always more of the same, only worse. I was glued to the news in february when the coronavirus was breaking out but i think like.most people im just tired of it. I kept my accounts but deleted social network apps off my phone. I started by unfollowing people who were infuriating, but found i wasmt getting much out of them.in general. Ill logon for family posts or interest groups i belong to, but thats it.
Looks like its day 7. Feeling good, but ive got to watch out for complacency. Have a great day may class!
I have some squash, peppers and cukes to go in today. I'm building up a raised bed in a low wet area of my garden.
A bit cold here thebpast few days, cant wait for the heat to return but its good yard work weather.
I haven't been watching much news either. Its always more of the same, only worse. I was glued to the news in february when the coronavirus was breaking out but i think like.most people im just tired of it. I kept my accounts but deleted social network apps off my phone. I started by unfollowing people who were infuriating, but found i wasmt getting much out of them.in general. Ill logon for family posts or interest groups i belong to, but thats it.
Looks like its day 7. Feeling good, but ive got to watch out for complacency. Have a great day may class!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Jewel, congrats on day three! I hope today goes easy for you.
Congrats on 7 days Nmd. And to all on your days.
I'm watching the news, too. I keep telling myself not to anymore, but it's hard not to check in and see what's happened now when it's always something worse than I could have imagined. I try to keep the chaos on the outside, if you know what I mean. The world can be falling apart, but on the inside I need peace and connection to a spirit of love, hope and strength. If I get too caught up in all this, it has a bad effect on my recovery. I am trying to remember that throughout the day.
Congrats on 7 days Nmd. And to all on your days.
I'm watching the news, too. I keep telling myself not to anymore, but it's hard not to check in and see what's happened now when it's always something worse than I could have imagined. I try to keep the chaos on the outside, if you know what I mean. The world can be falling apart, but on the inside I need peace and connection to a spirit of love, hope and strength. If I get too caught up in all this, it has a bad effect on my recovery. I am trying to remember that throughout the day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 142
Deleting social media apps and avoiding the news is hard but also key to your inner peace sometimes.
I've also unfriended a lot of people with personal or political drama. I think I have less than 20 friends left. Hahahah!
My biggest source of internet stress is playing Dr Google for all of my newly acquired symptoms. I need to stop but I can't...
I've also unfriended a lot of people with personal or political drama. I think I have less than 20 friends left. Hahahah!
My biggest source of internet stress is playing Dr Google for all of my newly acquired symptoms. I need to stop but I can't...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 1,014
Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast
Morning all,
Welcome to the class Orchid, 59woodall and Zombie
Hopeful-what a wonderful post, thank you so much and many congrats on 1 week sober. Hope your BP continues to improve.
Day 20 for me. I'm in a bit of a danger zone. That place where the initial roughness and then happiness at being sober has eased and it's just normal now. Oh I've been sober 20 days surely I can't have a problem? Am I REALLY not going to drink ever again? It's sunny, have wine. You're back at work soon, wine after work will help you relax. all AV talk. The thoughts are not there NOW - I'm just reflecting on what I have been like on past quits and how the thoughts tend to appear from 3 weeks onwards. I am separating the AV out from me and practising my AVRT.
I am bored too. As much as I love the sun and reading I need to work. I am desperate to go back to work for structure, routine. I've been off for nearly 3 months now. Anyway Sunday morning thoughts from me. sorry to be down.
Welcome to the class Orchid, 59woodall and Zombie
Hopeful-what a wonderful post, thank you so much and many congrats on 1 week sober. Hope your BP continues to improve.
Day 20 for me. I'm in a bit of a danger zone. That place where the initial roughness and then happiness at being sober has eased and it's just normal now. Oh I've been sober 20 days surely I can't have a problem? Am I REALLY not going to drink ever again? It's sunny, have wine. You're back at work soon, wine after work will help you relax. all AV talk. The thoughts are not there NOW - I'm just reflecting on what I have been like on past quits and how the thoughts tend to appear from 3 weeks onwards. I am separating the AV out from me and practising my AVRT.
I am bored too. As much as I love the sun and reading I need to work. I am desperate to go back to work for structure, routine. I've been off for nearly 3 months now. Anyway Sunday morning thoughts from me. sorry to be down.
Your AV could be my AV. (I think we’ve been in a class together before too.) Yes, after a little time sober, I hear the same AV (except my last “one glass of wine” turned into a year binge). I also want to have a drink after work and, especially, with food. But then I want the whole bottle and, sometimes, another bottle. That is why I was on Day 1 for 365 days.
I know I have to be more mindful this time around: I’m devastated by what alcohol has taken from me. I don’t want to give it that power anymore.
Sending you good energy for fighting the AV.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 437
Hey everyone. Day 14 for me. Up before 7, washing done, chilling (not a sun worshipper) in doors and just watching movies,reading and getting back into different hobbies. On mysocial media everyone seems to be out in their gardens, drinking. It doesn't surprise me but I know I can't do that. I can't just have a couple of glasses of anything, it's all or nothing and now I've got 14days under my belt, the idea of going back to starting at day 1 again just is unbearable! So I will probably head to the shop and buy some fruit and maybe some ice-cream to go with it ....if it's not all sold out!
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,025
Thank you for the warm welcome classmates 
Day 5 is almost halfway over as I woke at 4AM.. started eating at 6AM and just finished lunch. I’ve been eating so frequently just to stay busy, remain distracted.
I have so much energy to expend but the fitness center and pools aren’t open yet, it’s 90 out and incredibly humid so walking and cycling is out until the winter.. maybe some yoga and home workouts using body weight. I need a new hobby, all I do is read books, eat, and clean! I so envy those of you with gardens.
Day 5 is almost halfway over as I woke at 4AM.. started eating at 6AM and just finished lunch. I’ve been eating so frequently just to stay busy, remain distracted.
I have so much energy to expend but the fitness center and pools aren’t open yet, it’s 90 out and incredibly humid so walking and cycling is out until the winter.. maybe some yoga and home workouts using body weight. I need a new hobby, all I do is read books, eat, and clean! I so envy those of you with gardens.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: K.C.MO
Posts: 425
Blues
Day 4, Cloudy Sunday morning. I am doing chore, cleaning, laundry. I am trying to keep the blues at bay. I feel a little depressed, feeing sorry for my self. Not sure why. I do have a great life, wonderful hubby, great friends....But those voices in my head... "No body loves me".....blah blah blah.... sniff sniff.... Just sharing....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 286
Thank you for the warm welcome! It is wonderful feeling part of this community. My mind is still very foggy so travelbug your post is what I remember best since I just read it, the blues are rough, its amazing how sometimes our thoughts and feelings can be complete opposite from reality but often still cling to them 100%. I hope you feel better
Day 4 is for me is turning out lazy and foggy. Thank you all for posting, reading through your thoughts, struggles and success is priceless. Thank you for being brave and sharing.
Day 4 is for me is turning out lazy and foggy. Thank you all for posting, reading through your thoughts, struggles and success is priceless. Thank you for being brave and sharing.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I returned about 100 empty beer cans for deposit. We have a strange distribution system here where you take empty bottles/cans back to the store and get 10 cents per can. Anyway, I had absolutely no urge to buy more beer while I was there. Got my deposit and left. I think the medication I am on played a role in blocking any cravings.
One thing I have been craving is sugar/sweet things. I know this is normal for alcoholics on early sobriety, but I don't usually eat sweet things. I've been drinking Coke Zero by the gallon...
One thing I have been craving is sugar/sweet things. I know this is normal for alcoholics on early sobriety, but I don't usually eat sweet things. I've been drinking Coke Zero by the gallon...
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 510
Originally Posted by Jewel72
Finally. I have made it past day 2 and I’m on to day 3 today. I haven’t been able to get past day one for 3 weeks. I came completely clean to my husband Thursday night and told him I had been sneaking wine every day for 3 weeks. I knew he knew something on Memorial Day when he was acting very distant. I thought he might have been clued in that I was drinking. Thursday night he told me he knew, but he was hoping I’d tell him the truth. I reminded him what a liar I become and I can’t be trusted under the influence.
So with his help, the support of my recovery group, and SR, I hope to be back for good. I gained 8 pounds in 3 weeks, stopped running, was mean and distant to family, and generally hated myself. Just after 3 days, I’ve lost 2 pounds, was able to run 4 miles yesterday, loving my life again, and most importantly I’m going to be there for my family. This is so tough, but I need to do whatever it takes to never pick up the alcohol again. NEVER.
I will post tonight at the end of day 3.
So with his help, the support of my recovery group, and SR, I hope to be back for good. I gained 8 pounds in 3 weeks, stopped running, was mean and distant to family, and generally hated myself. Just after 3 days, I’ve lost 2 pounds, was able to run 4 miles yesterday, loving my life again, and most importantly I’m going to be there for my family. This is so tough, but I need to do whatever it takes to never pick up the alcohol again. NEVER.
I will post tonight at the end of day 3.
When I was at the doctor in February, I accidentally looked at the scale. I never look or ask about my weight. I’m weird. But I had lost 12 pounds from the year before when I stopped drinking. I have no idea what I gained from drinking this last go round. I know my pants started feeling different. That was another thing that spurred me on to quit again. I won’t weigh until I have stopped for a while and am back to working out like I should.
Keep going girl! 4 miles is awesome.
Hope
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 510
Originally Posted by Wastinglife
Jewel, show me an alcoholic and I'll show you a liar. Alcoholism and dishonesty go hand in hand. I remember a time when I didn't need to lie. There was nothing to hide. When I crossed that line into full-blown alcoholism, I did everything I could to deceive. I'm sure your husband knows that it's the alcohol and not some character flaw that is causing you to lie.
Hope
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
I can relate to the news. I also followed avidly in the early days of corona and have always watched the news daily. Over the past few weeks I have switched off though. It is repetitive but also scary and easy to get caught up in the drama. More tragic news this weekend too which is just scary. I agree karen that we need inner peace and to find any way to keep it.
I also do a Facebook cull on a regular basis. Some people I just unfollow but keep as friends as they are friends but obsessed with FB and post so much daily drives me mad! And why do people post about intimate health issues on FB ALL THE TIME!!-I just don't get it? Is it for sympathy, approval, attention, patting on the head there there poor you. Sorry I sound I very unkind person
I just think personal issues are personal and by all means discuss with friends and family or on something like here on SR but on FB- it's a no from me! Sorry but of a pet hate of mine (obviously!) and breathe. it really doesn't matter to me what other people do really
Listae-yes we have been in other classes together-let's make this our last Sending you good energy back my friend
Had a lazy day again. I'm bored of lockdown now Even getting fed up of the sun and that is something no one in Scotland ever says-never had cause to say it as it is rarely sunny and never for weeks on end as it has been! I need to work. feel like im sinking into a depression or a pit of doom. Well another day is over. I didn't want a drink. Sorry for downbeat post
I also do a Facebook cull on a regular basis. Some people I just unfollow but keep as friends as they are friends but obsessed with FB and post so much daily drives me mad! And why do people post about intimate health issues on FB ALL THE TIME!!-I just don't get it? Is it for sympathy, approval, attention, patting on the head there there poor you. Sorry I sound I very unkind person
I just think personal issues are personal and by all means discuss with friends and family or on something like here on SR but on FB- it's a no from me! Sorry but of a pet hate of mine (obviously!) and breathe. it really doesn't matter to me what other people do really Listae-yes we have been in other classes together-let's make this our last
Sending you good energy back my friend Had a lazy day again. I'm bored of lockdown now
Even getting fed up of the sun and that is something no one in Scotland ever says-never had cause to say it as it is rarely sunny and never for weeks on end as it has been! I need to work. feel like im sinking into a depression or a pit of doom. Well another day is over. I didn't want a drink. Sorry for downbeat post
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Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Hugs RAL, I hope you feel better tomorrow.
I've had a lazy day, too. When we do get back to work, we will look back and wish we had enjoyed it more.
Kittencat, if you have a patio or even a sunny window you can grow things in containers, if that's something you like to do.
I think having a hobby, not just any old thing to fill the time but something that we see purpose in, it helps.
Wasting, it sounds like you are making progress in your apartment. 100 beer cans! And no urge to buy beer. That is such wonderful news.
I've had a lazy day, too. When we do get back to work, we will look back and wish we had enjoyed it more.
Kittencat, if you have a patio or even a sunny window you can grow things in containers, if that's something you like to do.
I think having a hobby, not just any old thing to fill the time but something that we see purpose in, it helps.
Wasting, it sounds like you are making progress in your apartment. 100 beer cans! And no urge to buy beer. That is such wonderful news.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Thanks Karen. I have had quite a productive lockdown but it's just going on too long now. Especially as those in England have been 'released' and schools going back tomorrow. Yet here in Scotland little has changed and our schools don't go back till August. Another month of home schooling before the summer break is making me break out in a cold sweat Hoping to get back to work soon. How about you? Any news on when your lockdown will ease?
Hoping to get back to work soon. How about you? Any news on when your lockdown will ease?
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