Class of April 2018 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by bluesymusey 
Hello Aprils,
Nichole, awesome job on day 1 and deciding to give yourself a chance for a better, lighter and brighter life. We are rooting for you and will be here every step of the
Oh, and I nearly forgot to share my traumatic experience on the phone today with my cell phone company!! I was on the phone for 2 hours and talked to about 5 people after I finally realized they have been overcharging me for 7 months - basically ripping me off. Not shocking, eh? But, by the time the first hour passed, I was so agitated and really had to slow down and breeeeeatttheeee to not lose my mind! Nearing the 2 hour mark and a new kind of Yoda like ability to act rationally and even with some humour, I jumped in my car and went down to the local organic market and bought some chocolate covered almonds and roasted peanut butter fudge gelato! That's right, my sanity was hinging on a reward of some kind for simply enduring this brutal saga that was unfolding for hours. In the past I would have DEFINITELY drank over this, without question. Probably within the first 15 minutes! But now, I might gain a pound or 2, but I won't hate myself tomorrow and won't be pouring water on the gremlins - hallelujah! Hahah!
I survived through it and now get to count this as another day sober
Nichole, awesome job on day 1 and deciding to give yourself a chance for a better, lighter and brighter life. We are rooting for you and will be here every step of the
Oh, and I nearly forgot to share my traumatic experience on the phone today with my cell phone company!! I was on the phone for 2 hours and talked to about 5 people after I finally realized they have been overcharging me for 7 months - basically ripping me off. Not shocking, eh? But, by the time the first hour passed, I was so agitated and really had to slow down and breeeeeatttheeee to not lose my mind! Nearing the 2 hour mark and a new kind of Yoda like ability to act rationally and even with some humour, I jumped in my car and went down to the local organic market and bought some chocolate covered almonds and roasted peanut butter fudge gelato! That's right, my sanity was hinging on a reward of some kind for simply enduring this brutal saga that was unfolding for hours. In the past I would have DEFINITELY drank over this, without question. Probably within the first 15 minutes! But now, I might gain a pound or 2, but I won't hate myself tomorrow and won't be pouring water on the gremlins - hallelujah! Hahah!
I survived through it and now get to count this as another day sober
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 591
Originally Posted by Strawberry18
Please pray for my son ! He is on his way to main land to hospital and may have an operation tonight .
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Originally Posted by snitch
How are you doing today Nichole? X x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Originally Posted by xxxNICHOLExxx
I’m fighting to stay sober only 8 hour house until I can call it a night keep telling myself not to give in real concern is Saturday I’m going to a concert but I’ll will take it a day at a time and hope for the best
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
Originally Posted by Strawberry18
Please pray for my son ! He is on his way to main land to hospital and may have an operation tonight .
Please bin that bottle of wine, what good will it do, how will drinking help? Don't put yourself back to square one, you need to be strong, sober and present for your son, yourself, your 2_other children and your husband and family. You won't be much use to your son drunk. Be strong, you can do this. Xx
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
HI everyone,
Glad to see you here Nichole and quit4now......stick with us
Strawberry...thinking and praying for you and your son....as the others said, drinking will not allow you to be available for him...don't open the wine
Hugs to all xoxo
Glad to see you here Nichole and quit4now......stick with us
Strawberry...thinking and praying for you and your son....as the others said, drinking will not allow you to be available for him...don't open the wine
Hugs to all xoxo
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 2,583
Evening everyone
I hope everyone is ok it all seems a bit disjointed on here today or maybe it's me?
I guess we can all be moving along on our pink little clouds and then life happens and BAM!!
I am feeling pretty strong at the moment. I went to 2 meetings today. Recovery is a personal thing but I have to say AA is really helping me. I think for some it is fine to just put down the drink and continue with life but for me I am learning that alcohol was a huge cover for me to mask my feelings, my inadequacies, my self esteem and just removing the alcohol isn't enough. I have got to really change and when I say change I mean everything. My lifestyle, my friends, my thinking patterns, my confidence issues, my self beliefs and for me personally I think and I hope I will be able to achieve that by working the 12 steps.
Anyway I just want to add that I appreciate each and everyone of you here. I hate the thought of anyone of us feeling like we have to turn to the bottle. We don't. That is our old coping mechanism and we are here to find new ones.
Sending strength and prayers to my lovely April's.
Suzy x x
I hope everyone is ok it all seems a bit disjointed on here today or maybe it's me?
I guess we can all be moving along on our pink little clouds and then life happens and BAM!!
I am feeling pretty strong at the moment. I went to 2 meetings today. Recovery is a personal thing but I have to say AA is really helping me. I think for some it is fine to just put down the drink and continue with life but for me I am learning that alcohol was a huge cover for me to mask my feelings, my inadequacies, my self esteem and just removing the alcohol isn't enough. I have got to really change and when I say change I mean everything. My lifestyle, my friends, my thinking patterns, my confidence issues, my self beliefs and for me personally I think and I hope I will be able to achieve that by working the 12 steps.
Anyway I just want to add that I appreciate each and everyone of you here. I hate the thought of anyone of us feeling like we have to turn to the bottle. We don't. That is our old coping mechanism and we are here to find new ones.
Sending strength and prayers to my lovely April's.
Suzy x x
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Strawberry hope all is well
Everyone else stay strong congrats on days
So something I’m sitting and thinking about my family said they are worried about me with my drinking and me on medication but I really don’t see much of my family and don’t know how they see me with a drinking problem either I’m that blind and don’t notice things and it is very obvious to others or they are just assuming it idk just thoughts I’m having
Everyone else stay strong congrats on days
So something I’m sitting and thinking about my family said they are worried about me with my drinking and me on medication but I really don’t see much of my family and don’t know how they see me with a drinking problem either I’m that blind and don’t notice things and it is very obvious to others or they are just assuming it idk just thoughts I’m having
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Cheshire. U.K
Posts: 8,003
22.40
68
Good evening Aprils
This is the first chance I've had to post properly today, we had problems with our Internet server and I just couldn't get access, all seems to be working now thank goodness. I hope you've all had a good day.
I've been feeling a bit hurt and upset today, remember a couple of weeks back when I wrote that I'd been working in my grandson's school as a voluntary classroom assistant for the last 6 years and in my grandson's class, then when my son moved in with his current love interest at the end of February 3 weeks after he met her, he went into school and told the head teacher that he did not want me working in his son's class as he thought it was inappropriate for parents or grandparents to help in school. This upset me greatly and I felt totally humiliated, it was a major trigger for my relapse and I haven't been into school since, though I am starting back next week but not in my grandson's class. Well I discovered today that the love interest has applied to help voluntarily in school, in my grandson's class. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach, I'm so upset, I won't drink over it, I'm just so hurt.
This is going to cause me to feel a lot of resentment, I am resentful, how do I get past this? I want to let go of resentments, but I'm not sure how. Help.
Many congratulations on 60 days K.girl, that's a major achievement, so well done. I agree with the advice you've given re staying sober. Logging in every day is really helping me to be accountable, I post here every day, do my 24 hour pledge and my bedtime gratitude post. It's working for me at the minute anyway.
I'm glad you came back to us Quitnow, you did well to walk out of that place before you got completely blotto. Just keep going forward now, no looking back, the days will soon add up.
Good to see you posting lessgravity, 62 days is awesome. It is good to be part of a group, together we can do so much.
Bluesey, thank you for your kind words. What an ordeal you had with your telephone people, I'd have been tearing my hair out, you must have more patience than me, more power to you.
Hi Rowlands, I hope all is good with you. Have you got the rain your way? It's pouring down here, very heavy and thundery, it'll do my garden good though. x
Hi Donny boy, how's it going? I hope work is being kind to you? Take good care of yourself.
You can do this Nichole, you're stronger than you know, stay sober my lovely, our Strawberry may need to talk to you. It's just for today.
Great to see you Lovehoops, I hope all is good with you.
Hi Suze, I know what you mean about the group seeming to be a little disjointed today, it's been a bit like the calm before the storm. A.A is really doing it for you, your posts are a joy to read, you make such sense.
Viper, I hope you are okay, come and check in please.
Nichole, what you said about your family, I thought I was hiding my drinking well, I thought nobody could tell. I thought wrong, people could tell, people knew, it was obvious to everyone except me. I was kidding myself.
Well it's getting late and I'm going to make myself some lemon and ginger tea and read for a while in bed. Sorry for moaning, but I feel better for getting it off my chest. I hope you all have a good night, sleep well and stay sober.
Much love to you all. xx
68
Good evening Aprils
This is the first chance I've had to post properly today, we had problems with our Internet server and I just couldn't get access, all seems to be working now thank goodness. I hope you've all had a good day.
I've been feeling a bit hurt and upset today, remember a couple of weeks back when I wrote that I'd been working in my grandson's school as a voluntary classroom assistant for the last 6 years and in my grandson's class, then when my son moved in with his current love interest at the end of February 3 weeks after he met her, he went into school and told the head teacher that he did not want me working in his son's class as he thought it was inappropriate for parents or grandparents to help in school. This upset me greatly and I felt totally humiliated, it was a major trigger for my relapse and I haven't been into school since, though I am starting back next week but not in my grandson's class. Well I discovered today that the love interest has applied to help voluntarily in school, in my grandson's class. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach, I'm so upset, I won't drink over it, I'm just so hurt.
This is going to cause me to feel a lot of resentment, I am resentful, how do I get past this? I want to let go of resentments, but I'm not sure how. Help.
Many congratulations on 60 days K.girl, that's a major achievement, so well done. I agree with the advice you've given re staying sober. Logging in every day is really helping me to be accountable, I post here every day, do my 24 hour pledge and my bedtime gratitude post. It's working for me at the minute anyway.
I'm glad you came back to us Quitnow, you did well to walk out of that place before you got completely blotto. Just keep going forward now, no looking back, the days will soon add up.
Good to see you posting lessgravity, 62 days is awesome. It is good to be part of a group, together we can do so much.
Bluesey, thank you for your kind words. What an ordeal you had with your telephone people, I'd have been tearing my hair out, you must have more patience than me, more power to you.
Hi Rowlands, I hope all is good with you. Have you got the rain your way? It's pouring down here, very heavy and thundery, it'll do my garden good though. x
Hi Donny boy, how's it going? I hope work is being kind to you? Take good care of yourself.
You can do this Nichole, you're stronger than you know, stay sober my lovely, our Strawberry may need to talk to you. It's just for today.
Great to see you Lovehoops, I hope all is good with you.
Hi Suze, I know what you mean about the group seeming to be a little disjointed today, it's been a bit like the calm before the storm. A.A is really doing it for you, your posts are a joy to read, you make such sense.
Viper, I hope you are okay, come and check in please.
Nichole, what you said about your family, I thought I was hiding my drinking well, I thought nobody could tell. I thought wrong, people could tell, people knew, it was obvious to everyone except me. I was kidding myself.
Well it's getting late and I'm going to make myself some lemon and ginger tea and read for a while in bed. Sorry for moaning, but I feel better for getting it off my chest. I hope you all have a good night, sleep well and stay sober.
Much love to you all. xx
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 752
Daisybelle your probably right so I gave in and not going to lie little drunk and now I remember why I can’t drink because I have thoughts of ending life it’s not normal to stick a gun in your month and think about ending everything so I’m just going to say this I’m sorry for wasting your time everyone y’all don’t need someone like me in your class maybe one day I’ll get help or maybe it will be to late who knows Im not scared to die I don’t know how to cope with life daily issues I can’t bring the class down you deserve someone better then me in the class and I’m sorry but I’m over it y’all are freaking amazing people and I swear on anything I truly hope for the best y’all deserve the best anyone who takes time out of there day to support and check on others Is a okay in my book much love my fellow classmates
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,529
Hi Nichole
Quitting drinking isn't easy. It's not for sissies
It is possible tho and I hope that one day soon you'll see its possible for you too.
I think I've shared before that it took me 15 years to stop - not that I wish that on you,...but yeah it can be tough when drinking is a major part of your life.
I know you've mentioned the gun thing before. If you feel that way now PLEASE get some help. even if it's only calling a crisis line.
There are numbers here - and helpful reading.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html
It may seem like there's no end to this but there is. Do you know the 2 wolves parable?
Feed the good wolf. You can do this.
You'll always have a seat here, no matter what you decide today
D
Quitting drinking isn't easy. It's not for sissies
It is possible tho and I hope that one day soon you'll see its possible for you too.
I think I've shared before that it took me 15 years to stop - not that I wish that on you,...but yeah it can be tough when drinking is a major part of your life.
I know you've mentioned the gun thing before. If you feel that way now PLEASE get some help. even if it's only calling a crisis line.
There are numbers here - and helpful reading.
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ease-read.html
It may seem like there's no end to this but there is. Do you know the 2 wolves parable?
Feed the good wolf. You can do this.
You'll always have a seat here, no matter what you decide today
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi folks. I wanted to check in so you didn’t worry. I’ve been depressed and exhausted. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be a bit better. Sometimes something crops up, a chronic thing, and I take the meds for it and it works. Man I am exhausted.
I’ve been eating well and taking care of myself.
I hit the Google machine and found an addiction counselor in my town that takes my insurance. Looks like a fit from his web site. If I’m not going do AA I better do something. It can’t hurt to meet him. I also contacted my regular therapist but he hasn’t responded. Maybe away or something. I’ll see.
V
I’ve been eating well and taking care of myself.
I hit the Google machine and found an addiction counselor in my town that takes my insurance. Looks like a fit from his web site. If I’m not going do AA I better do something. It can’t hurt to meet him. I also contacted my regular therapist but he hasn’t responded. Maybe away or something. I’ll see.
V
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Nichole, honey, please listen to Dee. If you feel like you want to hurt yourself please call a crisis line and get some help. I remember when I was drinking I would tell myself that I didn't care if alcohol killed me. Well you know what...I actually DO care it was just the alcohol talking. I'm praying for you Nichole 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Oh Daisy, I am so sorry. How gut wrenching that must be. I would be absolutely devastated 
I have always held on to anger or when someone has wronged me spent hours and hours going through it in my mind. I have really struggled letting things go. I imagine this is what you are going through now and I don't blame you BUT I do have some advice....and this is actually advice given to me here on Sober Recovery, I saved it in my jounaling:
Kgirl, I can understand your frustration. I used to really struggle with letting things go. If I were cycling to work and someone was rude to me/cut me off/yelled at me, I would hold on to that for the entire day - it would just sit there, a knot in my gut, as I replayed it over and over all day! I realised this wasn’t healthy and also wasn’t doing me any good, so I started to make a big effort to change my outlook. It takes a long time but for me, slow, incremental changes really helped! I would start to isolate the situation, acknowledge the feelings of anger or frustration (insert relevant emotion here!) and then rather than focus on the perpetrator of the incident, I began to step back and analyze why it made me feel that way. By searching for the answer in my reaction rather than their behavior, I became a lot more introspective and actually learned a lot about myself and where my triggers come from! It takes time though, so it may not work at first - all I can say is give it a try, it really helped me! :-) After all, you can only control your own reactions, not others’ behavior. Yoga is also wonderful for centering your feelings and thoughts and learning to let things just wash over you - you learn to acknowledge the feelings and just let them pass. You neither hold on to the negative feelings nor suppress them. It has been very freeing for me and I’m still learning every day how to improve! Hope this helps!
With this advice I have gotten in the habit of writing out the following:
Incident:
I acknowledge this makes me feel__________________(insert emotions here, be honest!)
Why does this make me____________(reflect on why you feel the way you do. Again be honest.)
I hope this helps Daisy. Just remember you are a WONDERFUL mother, grandmother and friend. If I didn't know better I would say this may be another way for your son to manipulate you. He has to know how hurt you would be. Recognize that for what it is and try the best you can to not take it personal. I am thinking about you and praying your heart can find some peace with this.
I have always held on to anger or when someone has wronged me spent hours and hours going through it in my mind. I have really struggled letting things go. I imagine this is what you are going through now and I don't blame you BUT I do have some advice....and this is actually advice given to me here on Sober Recovery, I saved it in my jounaling:
Kgirl, I can understand your frustration. I used to really struggle with letting things go. If I were cycling to work and someone was rude to me/cut me off/yelled at me, I would hold on to that for the entire day - it would just sit there, a knot in my gut, as I replayed it over and over all day! I realised this wasn’t healthy and also wasn’t doing me any good, so I started to make a big effort to change my outlook. It takes a long time but for me, slow, incremental changes really helped! I would start to isolate the situation, acknowledge the feelings of anger or frustration (insert relevant emotion here!) and then rather than focus on the perpetrator of the incident, I began to step back and analyze why it made me feel that way. By searching for the answer in my reaction rather than their behavior, I became a lot more introspective and actually learned a lot about myself and where my triggers come from! It takes time though, so it may not work at first - all I can say is give it a try, it really helped me! :-) After all, you can only control your own reactions, not others’ behavior. Yoga is also wonderful for centering your feelings and thoughts and learning to let things just wash over you - you learn to acknowledge the feelings and just let them pass. You neither hold on to the negative feelings nor suppress them. It has been very freeing for me and I’m still learning every day how to improve! Hope this helps!
With this advice I have gotten in the habit of writing out the following:
Incident:
I acknowledge this makes me feel__________________(insert emotions here, be honest!)
Why does this make me____________(reflect on why you feel the way you do. Again be honest.)
I hope this helps Daisy. Just remember you are a WONDERFUL mother, grandmother and friend. If I didn't know better I would say this may be another way for your son to manipulate you. He has to know how hurt you would be. Recognize that for what it is and try the best you can to not take it personal. I am thinking about you and praying your heart can find some peace with this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 591
Originally Posted by xxxNICHOLExxx
Daisybelle your probably right so I gave in and not going to lie little drunk and now I remember why I can’t drink because I have thoughts of ending life it’s not normal to stick a gun in your month and think about ending everything so I’m just going to say this I’m sorry for wasting your time everyone y’all don’t need someone like me in your class maybe one day I’ll get help or maybe it will be to late who knows Im not scared to die I don’t know how to cope with life daily issues I can’t bring the class down you deserve someone better then me in the class and I’m sorry but I’m over it y’all are freaking amazing people and I swear on anything I truly hope for the best y’all deserve the best anyone who takes time out of there day to support and check on others Is a okay in my book much love my fellow classmates
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
