Originally Posted by martina12

Hi all I'm back again for day one and in for 24. I tried moderation but surprise surprise it didn't work.

This time I have added some running challenges to my toolbox.

I have finally realised that I can never drink again. I'm looking forward to getting on the elevator back up from rock bottom.

I'm also looking forward to getting to know you all again

Originally Posted by Delilah1

Those of you that have known me for a while know I have a brother who has struggled with drugs for many years, the most recent incident was a DUI about a year ago due to pot, thankfully nobody was hurt. He had his final court date mid December and pleaded guilty and was given fines and is on probation. This is his second DUI so he hasn't been able to drive for the past year, and it will be at least another before he can again.

One of the conditions of his probation is that he goes to an AA meeting once a week. When he has been ordered to go to counseling in the past he has looked for the easy way out, and has often found someone who would say he is coming and testing weekly, even though he wasn't.

He went to his first meeting yesterday with the father of one of his friends who will have 19 years sobriety pretty soon, and he actually went, listened, and felt like he got something out of it. We talked for a while tonight, and he admitted that he has lied many times in the past about using when he said he wasn't (we knew for the most part that he was lying, but it really was second nature to him). He also said he is Planning on going to 3 meetings a week with the neighbor, and is really going to take this seriously. He said he is going to stop feeling sorry for himself, and that he is to blame for the situation. He is in nobody else. There is also a little drama between him and his girlfriend, and he said right now he needs to focus on getting himself straightened out, he will continue to be there for his kids, but he's not going to worry about ten drama.

I truly think it is the most mature conversation I have ever had with him, and I am really proud of him and excited for where he is mentally right now. He actually quoted the first step to me, and although I do not attend AA, I have been to a few meetings in the past and I am familiar with the steps.

Just wanted to share the beginning of what I hope is a great recovery story.

❤️Delilah

Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife

5:22 and I've been crying since my eyes opened in bed.

I am so overwhelmed by the amount of social obligations this time of year and the with the kids being home from school - I feel like I am going to explode. We have a party tonight (an early one luckily) but I imagine the kids won't be asleep until 9:30 which is WAY past their bedtime. Then another get together tomorrow afternoon. It's the type of thing I can't say "no" to and that kind of pressure doesn't sit will with me.

I don't know what to do anymore. It's 2 days good, 4 days bad. I shouldn't be waking up and crying but it's pretty much the norm this winter.

Regardless, I am sober and very grateful for that. I am grateful for a lot of things, honestly. Just not feeling so well.

Originally Posted by joandmelandhan

Oh Sunflower it really is hard being out of our day to day routines isn't it? Ugh I hate the whole obligation to do things we're not comfortable doing in the holidays. I hope that after today you can get something resembling normality back in place.
I'll be sending you some calming vibes today sweetheart.

Originally Posted by Oxford1

I'll have 24 hours sober tomorrow. I keep trying to remind myself what happens when I drink. I get suicidal, depressed, anxious, and start talking to people about my problems.

Originally Posted by Sunflowerlife

Use whatever it takes to keep from taking that first drink. When I first started out and even today 7 months later, I did the same thing- reminded myself of the obvious and unavoidable outcome to my drinking- depression, anxiety, the awful hangovers, self loathing etc. It's just NOT worth it anymore. If you can just get through today that is enough. One day at time is all you need and you can do this!

Originally Posted by Oxford1

Thank you, I have five beers left. I didn't want to drink yesterday night but I did anyways

Originally Posted by ChloeRose63

Good Morning, Sunflowerlife!
Hope you have a wonderful day!♡