Class of December 2017 Support Thread Pt. 2
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Greece
Posts: 943
Originally Posted by ChloeRose63 
Sorry to hear you are still experiencing dizziness. Are you eating good foods? Maybe your blood/sugar levels should be checked out. Can you get to a dr?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: Mayland
Posts: 80
How I ruined Christmas..
I am have a rough day today. Feeling guilty and ashamed about my Christmas behavior/drinking. Usually when I feel like this I head out to the liquor store and say F it. Instead I'm coming on here for some advice because I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to be a new me without the alcohol. Happy and Healthy.
So let me tell you how I ended up here acknowledging my alcoholism, looking for help and support.
We went and visited my husbands family. They always have this huge, beautiful party with the entire family there. (Probably close to 60 people or so.) Lots and lots of alcohol. My niece Steph, who is 19, got engaged on Christmas eve to her much older boyfriend, Matt(26). They've been together for 2 years.
Some back story here: She had a full scholarship to a college that was a ways away and then she met Matt. She decided to stay closer to home (Matt) so she dropped out of that college and enrolled in a school there.
She then ended up dropping out of that college and enrolling in online classes. Did she tell her family? They didn't find out until they got a partial refund in the mail. They had to call the college to find out what the money was for. Matt has no job. Hasn't worked in over a year in a half. She says he's taking classes but his major has changed 4 times in the time we've known him. He received a settlement that he's been living off of but has been blowing through it, new cars, trips, clothes. He even said something to the fact that once Steph gets her degree, they'll have tons of money because she's going to be a nurse.
Steph has become very secluded from our family. Barely talks to anyone, even her parents. When we do see them they usually are together. It's hard to speak with her with out him around.
So here I am at the Christmas party. I was drinking vodka drinks. I can't tell you how many I had. My SIL was lamenting to us and crying about the situation, when they called us upstairs to make the big engagement announcement. They did, and I lost it. I cussed like a sailor in front of the whole family. I cussed him out, called him a loser, told him he wasn't good enough for her, told him to find someone closer to his own age. Lots of cussing and nastiness.
The things I said I can't take back. It was terrible and embarrassing for them, my family and for me. I am so ashamed because that is not who I am. I wish I would kept my drunk mouth shut.
Another terrible thing is when I called my husbands parents to apologize they thought it was great. I had the courage to say what everyone was thinking. That was not courage, that was alcohol induced rage.
Anyways, the culling of the family has begun. She has deleted a lot of us from her social accounts. Before she did, she made sure to nail home her everlasting love for Matt, in posts and pictures. I feel so guilty. I could have handled the situation in a very different, more mature way. The fact that I took a bunch of my family down with me too, tears me up.
What I ask you is how to deal with this guilt? How do I begin to make amends? I am not going to drink this problem away because that's what got me into this to begin with. I feel terrible about the whole thing. Any suggestions? Please.
So let me tell you how I ended up here acknowledging my alcoholism, looking for help and support.
We went and visited my husbands family. They always have this huge, beautiful party with the entire family there. (Probably close to 60 people or so.) Lots and lots of alcohol. My niece Steph, who is 19, got engaged on Christmas eve to her much older boyfriend, Matt(26). They've been together for 2 years.
Some back story here: She had a full scholarship to a college that was a ways away and then she met Matt. She decided to stay closer to home (Matt) so she dropped out of that college and enrolled in a school there.
She then ended up dropping out of that college and enrolling in online classes. Did she tell her family? They didn't find out until they got a partial refund in the mail. They had to call the college to find out what the money was for. Matt has no job. Hasn't worked in over a year in a half. She says he's taking classes but his major has changed 4 times in the time we've known him. He received a settlement that he's been living off of but has been blowing through it, new cars, trips, clothes. He even said something to the fact that once Steph gets her degree, they'll have tons of money because she's going to be a nurse.
Steph has become very secluded from our family. Barely talks to anyone, even her parents. When we do see them they usually are together. It's hard to speak with her with out him around.
So here I am at the Christmas party. I was drinking vodka drinks. I can't tell you how many I had. My SIL was lamenting to us and crying about the situation, when they called us upstairs to make the big engagement announcement. They did, and I lost it. I cussed like a sailor in front of the whole family. I cussed him out, called him a loser, told him he wasn't good enough for her, told him to find someone closer to his own age. Lots of cussing and nastiness.
The things I said I can't take back. It was terrible and embarrassing for them, my family and for me. I am so ashamed because that is not who I am. I wish I would kept my drunk mouth shut.
Another terrible thing is when I called my husbands parents to apologize they thought it was great. I had the courage to say what everyone was thinking. That was not courage, that was alcohol induced rage.
Anyways, the culling of the family has begun. She has deleted a lot of us from her social accounts. Before she did, she made sure to nail home her everlasting love for Matt, in posts and pictures. I feel so guilty. I could have handled the situation in a very different, more mature way. The fact that I took a bunch of my family down with me too, tears me up.
What I ask you is how to deal with this guilt? How do I begin to make amends? I am not going to drink this problem away because that's what got me into this to begin with. I feel terrible about the whole thing. Any suggestions? Please.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,721
What is done is done. You may have been right about the whole marrage thing. They will find out in time that it is going to be a difficult road ahead.
Let is all settle down. Now, concentrate on your recovery and getting a fresh start on the new year. Stop blaming yourself. Move forward with the lesson you have learned.
Let is all settle down. Now, concentrate on your recovery and getting a fresh start on the new year. Stop blaming yourself. Move forward with the lesson you have learned.
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Hi scrappy....you can’t undo what’s done, simply move forward in sobriety & life goes on. You are much more than your alcoholism....your right, it’s not who you are.
Day 7 here, not feeling so well physically & fatigued but glad to be here sober. Have a good day all
Day 7 here, not feeling so well physically & fatigued but glad to be here sober. Have a good day all
Member
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 697
Hi skrappy - what a mess. I've been there before myself many years ago. I have learned to keep my mouth shout now a days. You can't change what happened and as chloe said, they will find out for themselves.
The best thing you can do is apologize, forgive yourself and move on. I know it's easier said than done. I'm struggling with self forgiveness myself. But I know in order to stay sober, it's better to let things go that you can not change.
The best thing you can do is apologize, forgive yourself and move on. I know it's easier said than done. I'm struggling with self forgiveness myself. But I know in order to stay sober, it's better to let things go that you can not change.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
Hi Skrappy.
I agree with the advice here. All you can do to mend fences is apologise.
There's a lot more you can do to make sure you never find yourself in that position again tho - and I think thats where the bulk of your efforts need to be focused now?
The only thing that will mend relationships is time...and, perhaps, you very clearly changing and embracing a life of sobriety.
Actions speak very much louder than words here.
It may not be enough for you to be forgiven, but you'll be better off.
D
I agree with the advice here. All you can do to mend fences is apologise.
There's a lot more you can do to make sure you never find yourself in that position again tho - and I think thats where the bulk of your efforts need to be focused now?
The only thing that will mend relationships is time...and, perhaps, you very clearly changing and embracing a life of sobriety.
Actions speak very much louder than words here.
It may not be enough for you to be forgiven, but you'll be better off.
D
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,721
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hi countrylife, I'm sad you decided to close your account.
I don't think you'll find that not focusing on your problem makes it better, but I wish you the best.
D
I don't think you'll find that not focusing on your problem makes it better, but I wish you the best.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
HI everyone,
Welcome northern lass..I remember you from previous classes...
Scrappy..like others have said, all u can do is apologize and continue to make sober choices.
Feeling blah myself...new year gets me meloncholy always...
Have a good night xo
Welcome northern lass..I remember you from previous classes...
Scrappy..like others have said, all u can do is apologize and continue to make sober choices.
Feeling blah myself...new year gets me meloncholy always...
Have a good night xo
I learn somethin' new everyday!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 219
Hi Decembers. Just checking in.
I called in sick to work today. I didn’t get to sleep until after 1pm here, even though I went to bed at 9:30. Part of that is SR. I can’t peel myself away. I felt melancholy yesterday and I just wanted more than anything in the world to sleep all morning. So I did.
I think I’m going to try to get an appointment with an addiction counselor next week. I was feeling very positive, but here I am now on day 12 feeling sad. I was hoping being sober would make me feel alive and amazing, but I obviously need to deal with some ****. Like I’ve said in previous posts, i feel paralyzed- not dealing with anything, or anyone. Zoning out to Netflix and SR. I’m getting the effect of being drunk but not actually drinking.
Anyway, I don’t want to drink. I know it’ll make things worse.
Hope you guys are having/had a good day. Sorry to hear country left us. Strange that you would delete an account when you could just not go to the sight. I hope the best for her. Maybe she’ll come back reincarnated.
Skrappy- I’ve certainly been in your shoes before. It will get better. There isn’t anything you can do other than an apology. You were angry because you care about your niece. I’m sure you would have approached it more rationally and effectively sober.
Okay, keep on being sober guys.
I called in sick to work today. I didn’t get to sleep until after 1pm here, even though I went to bed at 9:30. Part of that is SR. I can’t peel myself away. I felt melancholy yesterday and I just wanted more than anything in the world to sleep all morning. So I did.
I think I’m going to try to get an appointment with an addiction counselor next week. I was feeling very positive, but here I am now on day 12 feeling sad. I was hoping being sober would make me feel alive and amazing, but I obviously need to deal with some ****. Like I’ve said in previous posts, i feel paralyzed- not dealing with anything, or anyone. Zoning out to Netflix and SR. I’m getting the effect of being drunk but not actually drinking.
Anyway, I don’t want to drink. I know it’ll make things worse.
Hope you guys are having/had a good day. Sorry to hear country left us. Strange that you would delete an account when you could just not go to the sight. I hope the best for her. Maybe she’ll come back reincarnated.
Skrappy- I’ve certainly been in your shoes before. It will get better. There isn’t anything you can do other than an apology. You were angry because you care about your niece. I’m sure you would have approached it more rationally and effectively sober.
Okay, keep on being sober guys.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,721
Hi, there, Magpie. There is another member wanting to leave SR. Maybe it is just me but, I get sad when I hear that news. I feel like I should have done something to acknowledge these people with some kind of response. Maybe I am being too sensitive. It wouldn't be the first time I have felt that way. Anyway, hope you have a good evening!♡CR
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 219
She had a really rough week. A friend died in a car wreck driving drunk before Christmas. The holidays are so tough too. I understand. I came and went a lot when I was drinking. It’s like we want something from the site other than ‘quit drinking, you’ll feel better’. Just speaking from my own experience.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 219
She had a really rough week. A friend died in a car wreck driving drunk before Christmas. The holidays are so tough too. I understand. I came and went a lot when I was drinking. It’s like we want to hear something from the site other than ‘quit drinking, you’ll feel better’. But there really is no other better first step. Just speaking from my own experience. I hope you come back when you’re ready Country!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
Morning Class........hi Northern Lass.
....well, Skrappy.
It's a good story. Look on the upside. Your hosts weren't offended. You said what was on everybody's mind. The niece now knows what the score is. She's young.....and has plenty of time ahead of her to reassess and maybe take a different course. The guy has been warned........might wake him up to his responsibilities too.
In summary.....I think you're beating yourself up over the drunkenness. Sure. But the family consequences are not a total disaster and with time might lead to a better situation. Everybody probably needs to back off for a bit.
Sorry to see countrylife close account, but maybe just not the time for her right now. Can always find a way back when she's ready.
How you goin' Loui? Still dizzy?, you've been doing great and riding it out. Just get through to Monday and you'll be ok. Magpie, lovehoops, can understand the melancholies at this time of year.....its another seasonal social moment that many of us have to do on our own. It comes, it goes.
I seem to have been sleeping heavily. Just can't get enough at the moment. Don't think I'll be sitting up late tomorrow night.....
Have a good day everybody,
Later.
....well, Skrappy.
It's a good story. Look on the upside. Your hosts weren't offended. You said what was on everybody's mind. The niece now knows what the score is. She's young.....and has plenty of time ahead of her to reassess and maybe take a different course. The guy has been warned........might wake him up to his responsibilities too.
In summary.....I think you're beating yourself up over the drunkenness. Sure. But the family consequences are not a total disaster and with time might lead to a better situation. Everybody probably needs to back off for a bit.
Sorry to see countrylife close account, but maybe just not the time for her right now. Can always find a way back when she's ready.
How you goin' Loui? Still dizzy?, you've been doing great and riding it out. Just get through to Monday and you'll be ok. Magpie, lovehoops, can understand the melancholies at this time of year.....its another seasonal social moment that many of us have to do on our own. It comes, it goes.
I seem to have been sleeping heavily. Just can't get enough at the moment. Don't think I'll be sitting up late tomorrow night.....
Have a good day everybody,
Later.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 84
Skrappy, what’s done is done and you can’t undo it....BUT, what you can to is turn it into a positive. Use it as your motivation to get alcohol out of your life forever. Then, instead of looking at it as a horrible event, it will be the best thing that ever happened. I bet that everyone at the party would see it the same way - that is, if it turns out to the the first day of a new sober life. One day, if you succeed at this, you will too!
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