Class of July 2013 Part 46
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Originally Posted by CaseyW 
Good morning Julyers! All is well here. Day 42. In a row! Off work today and planning on taking my laziness to new heights. It's good to have goals.
, Casey. 42 days is great!!!! So happy for you.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,997
I don't want to give in but living like this is hopeless. I know I am ill but I can't keep fighting. I do, but it's exhausting and demoralizing and agonizingly lonely. I try to sleep, but dream of losing Larry. I almost called a helpline. A friend hasn't responded to a message. I implored my sister to be in touch, she hasn't. All I would like is some human acknowledgement of the fact that this is hard.
Drunk or not I'm not living. I see my psychiatrist next week. I've exhausted all forms of treatment. I don't even know why I'm posting. There are times I regret, I really do, not being able to drink to numb out. Life is horrible.
Drunk or not I'm not living. I see my psychiatrist next week. I've exhausted all forms of treatment. I don't even know why I'm posting. There are times I regret, I really do, not being able to drink to numb out. Life is horrible.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Originally Posted by Leshar
I don't want to give in but living like this is hopeless. I know I am ill but I can't keep fighting. I do, but it's exhausting and demoralizing and agonizingly lonely. I try to sleep, but dream of losing Larry. I almost called a helpline. A friend hasn't responded to a message. I implored my sister to be in touch, she hasn't. All I would like is some human acknowledgement of the fact that this is hard.
Drunk or not I'm not living. I see my psychiatrist next week. I've exhausted all forms of treatment. I don't even know why I'm posting. There are times I regret, I really do, not being able to drink to numb out. Life is horrible.
Drunk or not I'm not living. I see my psychiatrist next week. I've exhausted all forms of treatment. I don't even know why I'm posting. There are times I regret, I really do, not being able to drink to numb out. Life is horrible.
I wish I knew the solution.
I know that we are only virtual but we do care, very much so.
Please be totally forthcoming with your psychiatrist next week; she/he needs to know exactly how and what you are feeling.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I understand its hard Leshar - saying I know things will get better again is not meant to dismiss your feelings 
Personally I think giving up would be harder. Been there done that. Not good.
Maybe it is time to touch base with your Dr or therapist again as a move for your own welfare?
D
Personally I think giving up would be harder. Been there done that. Not good.
Maybe it is time to touch base with your Dr or therapist again as a move for your own welfare?
D
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
We know how badly you're suffering, Leshar. But I doubt that the depths of depression and despair have pummeled any of us as long or as relentlessly as they have you.
We know you're suffering horribly. We stand here by your side, even though there's probably nothing any of us can say that you haven't heard or thought before.
I am praying that there will be a new medicine you can try that will really turn things around.
And I'll bet they might be able to encourage you somewhat on the hotline. I don't think you actually have to have your head in the noose to qualify for their care.
You're about as down as down can get, and you've been suffering a long time.
Perhaps they will give you an angle to consider that you hadn't considered before.
Just a question: do you ask any higher power to be with you in your affliction? I believe that there is one person who fully understands your hopelessness and mental anguish, and he will stand with you and guide you better than any mortal being can, and can soothe and carry you even when you are certain that you cannot go on.
I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds. I continue to pray for your complete restoration to health and comfort.
We know you're suffering horribly. We stand here by your side, even though there's probably nothing any of us can say that you haven't heard or thought before.
I am praying that there will be a new medicine you can try that will really turn things around.
And I'll bet they might be able to encourage you somewhat on the hotline. I don't think you actually have to have your head in the noose to qualify for their care.
You're about as down as down can get, and you've been suffering a long time.
Perhaps they will give you an angle to consider that you hadn't considered before.
Just a question: do you ask any higher power to be with you in your affliction? I believe that there is one person who fully understands your hopelessness and mental anguish, and he will stand with you and guide you better than any mortal being can, and can soothe and carry you even when you are certain that you cannot go on.
I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds. I continue to pray for your complete restoration to health and comfort.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
For sure you should have called the Helpline, Leshar.
Seriously, just being to talk and cry it out anonymously and feel the wretchedness and express it, might just help.
I've used them before, nothing to lose. Share the load.
Seriously, just being to talk and cry it out anonymously and feel the wretchedness and express it, might just help.
I've used them before, nothing to lose. Share the load.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,877
Originally Posted by Gilmer
We know how badly you're suffering, Leshar. But I doubt that the depths of depression and despair have pummeled any of us as long or as relentlessly as they have you.
We know you're suffering horribly. We stand here by your side, even though there's probably nothing any of us can say that you haven't heard or thought before.
I am praying that there will be a new medicine you can try that will really turn things around.
And I'll bet they might be able to encourage you somewhat on the hotline. I don't think you actually have to have your head in the noose to qualify for their care.
You're about as down as down can get, and you've been suffering a long time.
Perhaps they will give you an angle to consider that you hadn't considered before.
Just a question: do you ask any higher power to be with you in your affliction? I believe that there is one person who fully understands your hopelessness and mental anguish, and he will stand with you and guide you better than any mortal being can, and can soothe and carry you even when you are certain that you cannot go on.
I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds. I continue to pray for your complete restoration to health and comfort.
We know you're suffering horribly. We stand here by your side, even though there's probably nothing any of us can say that you haven't heard or thought before.
I am praying that there will be a new medicine you can try that will really turn things around.
And I'll bet they might be able to encourage you somewhat on the hotline. I don't think you actually have to have your head in the noose to qualify for their care.
You're about as down as down can get, and you've been suffering a long time.
Perhaps they will give you an angle to consider that you hadn't considered before.
Just a question: do you ask any higher power to be with you in your affliction? I believe that there is one person who fully understands your hopelessness and mental anguish, and he will stand with you and guide you better than any mortal being can, and can soothe and carry you even when you are certain that you cannot go on.
I hope I haven't overstepped my bounds. I continue to pray for your complete restoration to health and comfort.
Amen.
So much love to you, Leshar.
You, too, Gilmer.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
My brain is fried a bit right now, so I can't remember if I posted on the 3rd or not, but I meant to....Best wishes on 4 years sober, Leshar.
It may not feel like an achievement, but having heard a very sad story this week about alcoholism, which I won't share now, I'm still very grateful, that although you are in pain, this is the genuine version of you.
There may not be much brightness in this dark patch, but Larry would be proud of you for making a start on getting out of that murk of drinking. I wish I could find the words to magically fix how you feel, but I cant, but the wishing I could is there, Leshar.
It may not feel like an achievement, but having heard a very sad story this week about alcoholism, which I won't share now, I'm still very grateful, that although you are in pain, this is the genuine version of you.
There may not be much brightness in this dark patch, but Larry would be proud of you for making a start on getting out of that murk of drinking. I wish I could find the words to magically fix how you feel, but I cant, but the wishing I could is there, Leshar.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Oh my!
I missed Leshar's anniversary date.
I had to look into your profile after Crois mentioned it.
Always so much going on that week here in the U.S.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so happy that you are part of this class,Leshar. I enjoy hearing about your exploits in the plays you get involved in. Good lord, I would never have the courage to do that.
Congratulations on 4 years, Leshar!!!
I missed Leshar's anniversary date.
I had to look into your profile after Crois mentioned it.
Always so much going on that week here in the U.S.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so happy that you are part of this class,Leshar. I enjoy hearing about your exploits in the plays you get involved in. Good lord, I would never have the courage to do that.
Congratulations on 4 years, Leshar!!!
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