Originally Posted by heyfly

Home from hospital yesterday, right knee total replacement. Painful but gets better each day, same as giving up the booze. Little foggy from pain drugs, never been my d of choice.

Originally Posted by NoGoingBack

Hi everyone, I'll take another 24 if I may..

A quick explanation for my absence these last few months...
Long story but those of you who remember me may be familiar with the story of my sobriety / relapse loop that I got stuck in.

In March 2016 I underwent a second medicated detox at home. Bad move really as 'home' has been a pub which my long suffering partner and I ran together, we lived above the pub.

I'd been caught drinking by my partner after a period of abstinence and this was to be my final, final, ultimate last chance, again...

What no one knew at the time was that I'd managed to acquire myself a pretty substantial cocaine habit too, between quarter and half an ounce a week which I financed by taking money from our business without my partner knowing.

My behaviour became steadily worse and although I got sober, I carried on taking the cocaine and predictably relapsed into drinking around July. Again I managed to keep that a secret too, topping up with coke when I got to feeling too drunk, then drinking to sleep.

It got to the point where I'd be awake all night and stay in bed until 3 in the afternoon or until my next delivery came if I'd run out.

I wasn't interested in anything, stopped driving, couldn't interact with anyone and was so anxious and paranoid I thought I'd lost my mind. As did my family and friends as no one knew the truth.

I was desperate to tell someone but daren't for fear of the consequences.

In November, my partner finally had enough. She went to pick the kids up from school and just didn't come home.

I barricaded myself in the pub, hoping somehow I'd get away with everything and she'd come back after a few days, but then my brother told her about the cocaine and things just went crazy.

I stayed in that place for a week and virtually drank it dry.

During that week I somehow managed to go cold turkey on the coke and just drunk myself to oblivion. I left after the police became involved and was fortunate enough to be able to come to our house which we've always rented out as the last tenant had just left.

I came with literally one suitcase, my guitars and our two dogs. Carried on drinking but no drugs, my stepfather gave me some money in sympathy which didn't take me long to drink.

On the 28th of December I had a breakdown, literally. I hadn't seen my children in over a month, had no money and no hope.. I collapsed on the pavement when I was going to the shop to buy vodka, and kneeling on the floor crying my eyes out in sheer despair, something clicked in my brain.

So I did what they always say you mustn't and instead of going to the shop I went home and rode the storm, cold turkey detox from alcohol when I'd been drinking 100 plus units per day. Luckily I made it through when by rights it should have killed me..

So here I am now, there's more to tell but I've tried to post this three times and fallen asleep each time.

I plan to start a blog or journal soon and this will be a part of it, but for now I'd like to wish everyone sweet sober dreams and best wishes

Peace all
NGB

Originally Posted by mystified

In for another 24.