JG62

Phew I need to cool down! Day 4 hello - just saw some ones post on another page, I knew where they were coming from, they said they were an alcoholic but they were dry for 2 weeks, but at weekends they get bored, would it be OK if they drank just at weekends. I am not criticising in anyway. But my own response, below made me so angry with myself and my relationship with that bottle. I thank them so much for the clarity and I have made note of what I said should I ever feel that I can just have a sip,
My response: Don't do it!!! I quit in 2003 and stayed booze free for 4 years. Then for some crazy reason, I decided I could be a social drinker (there is nothing social about my drinking). It was fine for a while but every time I got stressed about anything it just increased and 5 days ago, after a drink fuelled vile argument with my husband of 9 months, he left and won't be coming back. I am so ashamed of my actions and the pain I have caused him. I am on day 4. I don't have anyone here to support me and I am finding it tough but I will never give into that vile bottle again. I hope one day he will remember the nice, loving and caring me but for now all he remembers is that disgusting vile person that screamed at him all manner of obscenities. At the moment I can't do any exercise as I can't eat due to the sick feeling I have because he is no longer in my life, but I know when I can it will really help. Please don't do it and ask your partner to support you on your resolve. Be strong - for me it's life or booze and I am choosing life.

JL2014

JG
Find a support group, a recovery group, WHATEVER group you feel you can get with. It helps. I put it off, had all the reasons, excuses not to .
It helps.
There is no way, I mean NO way I'd be sober and not hung over this morning , after yesterday, without it and posting in here.
IMHO it will help.
Hugs,
Thanks folks for the condolences. I've known this was going to happen ( lord knows I've ranted on here about it). Thank you

soberforme06061

Day 20 for me and I'm up at 6am feeling pretty awesome. I slept great and was planning to sleep in but my cat is on my morning schedule and decided it was time for me to get up. If I would've been drinking lastnight I would be feeling real crappy about now but I feel real good. I'm proud of myself because I've never gone this long without drinking except when I was pregnant with my kids. My youngest is 8 ...
I have so much to do today so I'll for sure stay busy and consumed so my alcoholic brain should stay quiet.
I hope everyone has a beautiful day today and thank you all so much for being here! You guys really are so important to me which is so weird but I rely on this board more than you know!!!!

U75

Day 6. Friday nights are a major hurdle, but I made it. Looking forward to a beautiful summer day with the kiddos. Peace to all, hope you have a good day.

luvmygirls

Day 29. I was hoping to sleep in this morning since everyone was up very late last night, but I was awakened at 7 by my kids' screaming and laughing. Reading has been extremely helpful in my early sobriety, so I'm currently scouring the internet for some good books for my Kindle. I have a system where I look to "top 10 book lists" for past years, and check out free, past-popular ebooks from my library.

We are moving and new camps start Monday, so I'm very busy as usual. However, I've gotten MUCH better about taking breaks, resting, and saying "no" when I need to. It's a work in progress...progress, not perfection, right?

SnazzyDresser

awesome, I've been doing the same thing with movies, looking at movie critics' top 10 lists for a recent year. Great resource

U75

Congrats, soberforme and Luvmygirls. (This autocorrect for the usernames is killing me). JG, stay strong. It's hard enough to go through withdrawal alone, but to have the emotional turmoil on top of it... I can't imagine. This experience will make you better and stronger in the future. Have faith in that. When you are on Day 365, you'll be able to look back at this time with pride and marvel at how far you've come. You will get there.

2Wheelterror

Day 26 and somehow I managed to catch a cold. Ugg, I was so close to drinking last night. I was feeling down because my job cut my hours down again, now I'm at 29 hours a week. The job is a dead end job, no advancement at all, no benefits and the pay stinks.
So I stopped to pick up dinner, ran into an ex co-worker and man he was really messed up. He was juking and jiving, itching and scratching way high on meth. After that brief encounter with him, I felt okay with being sober. I don't know how else to put it into words. Just seeing someone else who is an active addict, made me realize I don't want to pick up again even though my drug of choice was booze.
So here I am sober and sick, it's better than hungover and sick.

GAHaley

Welcome Tetrax! Congrats on getting yourself out of that situation and to a meeting!

JL - So sorry to hear about your brother. My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family.

JG - I can definitely relate & feel your pain. My ex-husband left me 3 years ago due to my alcoholism. I know it feels hopeless right now, but it will get better. Just stick close to us and we will be your support. Also, have you thought about looking into AA?

Day 6. Today is the first day I woke up actually feeling pretty ok (I won't say good, but at least I didn't start the day with uncontrollable crying). I think the worst of the physical withdrawls is over, but now the mental is setting in. Mood swings, brain fog, inability to find happiness in anything, etc. I just have to push through and remind myself "this too shall pass".

Could use some prayers, because I will be working at my new apartment today and as you know I am not happy about being there. Last weekend turned into a major binge after moving in because I was so depressed about being there. I have stayed with my boyfriend since and this is my first time back. Thankfully, he is going with me, so even if I did want to "sneak" to the liquor store, I won't have a means of transportation.

On a side note, I have taken everyone's advice and am not concentrating so much on eating healthy. If I can, I choose healthy options, but yesterday when I was craving, I had 2 pieces of cake!!! Not like me at all lol .

Have a nice sober Saturday everyone!!

Optimist4ever57

Day 1 again. I've been feeling quite sorry for myself lately, as I've lost some people very dear to me and drank last night. As I said in the checkin, it was one drink so my first instinct was to just let it slide "because I've been through so much" but, one of my character defects is not being truthful ( and self-pity) and I want God to remove that from me, as well as the other defects on my list.

I should have logged in and talked to someone, and the thought did occur to me, but my hand just accepted the drink. My trigger is anxiety and while I do have methods of dealing with it, the drink was right there.

Today, I will take it hour by hour. I'm going to do some reading and will try to get to know you, my classmates, a bit better.

Here's to a Sober Saturday!

Optimist4ever57

Thanks Cute!

Optimist4ever57

Thanks Caramel! It's good to be back....

Optimist4ever57

Thanks Snazzy!

Optimist4ever57

Thank you, Dee!

luvmygirls

You know that cake was good though!!! LOL!

Wastinglife

Day 36. It's summer weather, a Saturday, Euro 2016 is in the knockout round, and I am bored. Normally, under such circumstances, I would already be at a pub, probably finishing my 2nd pint of beer by now. It's just past noon here but because of the time difference to France, it is perfectly acceptable to get drunk this early.

I think I may have to avoid watching the tournament. Huge trigger for me. Watching sports while drinking at a bar was pretty much my main hobby for the last decade.....

SnazzyDresser

I hear this, sports meant beer for me. Not quite as bad for me cause I always drank alone and watched from home though.

callmemilly

Still here. Third weekend. Really struggling. Trying to read here. Have a great day all ☺

Caramel

We're here for you, callmemilly

U75

Okay, so my wife is at the store and I've got the kids in the pool. Just went inside to use the restroom, and I was friggin' broadsided by a massive craving. It was the perfect opportunity to sneak a few swallows without anyone being the wiser. AV was telling me that it would only be one, that I couldn't have more because then my wife would notice that the amount left in the bottle was lower (although she's been fooled by the "adding water" trick many times before). I've heard that **** before, and I'm not buying it anymore.

Managed to fight it off, but it's still there below the surface. Back outside with the kids now, re-focusing on why I'm doing this.