Class of October 2014 Part 29
s
. (((V)))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,516
I will be OK. Soon. I didn't mean to be cryptic....it just wasn't suitable thread-sharing material, not for me in any case.
As I said yesterday, life throws some serious curve balls sometimes...and you can't be prepared. I tried that, and ended up shutting out as much good stuff as bad...
I'm still sober. And grateful to know that I can always run straight here if need be. I love all of you very much. Thank you.
As I said yesterday, life throws some serious curve balls sometimes...and you can't be prepared. I tried that, and ended up shutting out as much good stuff as bad...
I'm still sober. And grateful to know that I can always run straight here if need be. I love all of you very much. Thank you.
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
You're right V, we shouldn't shut out life in an effort to protect ourselves. It's not worth the sacrifice, and it isn't true recovery. You're on the right track, and you'll always find love and sanctuary here.
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
I'm so glad! I'm here if you want to talk.
Today was challenging, but I got it all done. I had two gnarly projects going on at work, one involving a couple of real angry people who did not like what I had to say. In my job, I calculate damages. In order to do so, I need documentation of losses. Such documentation comes in the form of, oh, you know...documents. Not everyone keeps the best records, and when they turn up five years after the loss and want compensation for something they didn't document and can describe only as "really expensive," it doesn't usually work out real well. A woman I dealt with today did not respond to this news with a great deal of tact. Oh well, you can't please everyone.
Sometimes in my work, people get pissed and go off on me. Those situations can be pretty intense, and I used to come home and try to drink them off. I still use medication to calm myself down, which might be cheating a bit, but that doesn't let me mentally escape from what went down and the nasty things I was told, called, accused of, etc. Learning to put things like that in perspective is a challenge in my recovery.
It's a whole lot easier to deal with when I'm not depressed because it's easier to put things in the proper perspective. Right now when someone tells me I'm sh*t, I don't believe it. I know they are just responding to something they don't want to hear, but I've actually done them a favor by telling them the truth. I can take their barrage of insults while knowing that I am not the law they are fighting. It's not personal, I don't make the laws, I just explain them. Simple as that.
Unfortunately, when I am depressed, I believe them. I have to fight extra hard to keep a wall up and not let those things soak in, but sometimes I just don't have the fortitude to protect myself, and that kind of abuse really wipes me out. That has led to relapses in the past. But I'm learning how to deal, and awareness is key for me, just being attentive to what I'm feeling and why.
Anyway, that came out a lot longer than intended! I guess I just needed to process that.
So it's all good. I hope all's cool with you guys.
Today was challenging, but I got it all done. I had two gnarly projects going on at work, one involving a couple of real angry people who did not like what I had to say. In my job, I calculate damages. In order to do so, I need documentation of losses. Such documentation comes in the form of, oh, you know...documents. Not everyone keeps the best records, and when they turn up five years after the loss and want compensation for something they didn't document and can describe only as "really expensive," it doesn't usually work out real well. A woman I dealt with today did not respond to this news with a great deal of tact. Oh well, you can't please everyone.
Sometimes in my work, people get pissed and go off on me. Those situations can be pretty intense, and I used to come home and try to drink them off. I still use medication to calm myself down, which might be cheating a bit, but that doesn't let me mentally escape from what went down and the nasty things I was told, called, accused of, etc. Learning to put things like that in perspective is a challenge in my recovery.
It's a whole lot easier to deal with when I'm not depressed because it's easier to put things in the proper perspective. Right now when someone tells me I'm sh*t, I don't believe it. I know they are just responding to something they don't want to hear, but I've actually done them a favor by telling them the truth. I can take their barrage of insults while knowing that I am not the law they are fighting. It's not personal, I don't make the laws, I just explain them. Simple as that.
Unfortunately, when I am depressed, I believe them. I have to fight extra hard to keep a wall up and not let those things soak in, but sometimes I just don't have the fortitude to protect myself, and that kind of abuse really wipes me out. That has led to relapses in the past. But I'm learning how to deal, and awareness is key for me, just being attentive to what I'm feeling and why.
Anyway, that came out a lot longer than intended! I guess I just needed to process that.
So it's all good. I hope all's cool with you guys.
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