Optimist4ever57

My grandson got me hooked on Narcos, Pablo Escobar's life. I binged watched the first 7 and am holding out on the last 3 because I don't want it to end. Sigh. It's kind of graphic (violence) and some sex scenes, but hey, at 59 I can handle it. And I'm guessing it was much worse in real life. A real behind the scenes look at the "War on Drugs" in the good ole USA.

OldTomato

I'm off to write in my journal, read and then sleep. I've been so tired lately, even though I've been sleeping well and my blood work is all fine. A normal part of recovery I guess. I'm going to stop putting off my step 4 work tomorrow, and I'm going to listen to a podcast instead of attending a meeting. Goodnight all!

GardenGal

I can agree with that. He did seem at odds, and it was no Mrs. Doubtfire, but we still enjoyed it. Hope my son will be a better behaved teen than those in RV!

Optimist4ever57

So, here it is, 5pm on a Friday evening and I would be getting ready to pour myself a drink. Funny thing, after that initial first week with the withdrawals and being sick, I've not had any cravings. But that's not what usually gets me, it's the sudden onset of some anxiety provoking incident and I just want the panicky feeling to end. And then there was the "saw it, picked it up and bought it" incident.

The amazing thing is I've slept like a baby almost every single night. Some nights I didn't get to be early enough but when I did fall asleep, I was out. I had horrible nights when I was drinking. Tossing, turning, snoring so bad I'd wake myself up!

Still working on my recovery journal and not sure how to handle the panic attacks. I can probably ask my doc for a few Xanax. The last time I had it was years ago and all it took was 1/4 of a .25 pill to calm me down. Placebo effect maybe?

Then again, if it is a placebo effect, a Tylenol might do the trick too, if I believe it will help.

Anyway, looking forward to waking up tomorrow to my 2 week milestone. I think I'll do some laundry and cleaning tonight. A friend is coming over to work on her Step 4 tomorrow and my cleaning lady didn't make it this week. Looks like it's all on me!

I'll check in tonight before I hit the bed :-)

GardenGal

Alcohol! It's a pretty common correlation. I posted about it a while back. Docs weren't going to put me on meds, since I told them about the wine problem, but now they have.

opalblue

Don't apple. You need to break this habit.
Have you seen Still Alice? Good film

GardenGal

WAY WAY worse. I too live on an acre and get skunks [plus lots of other wild critters]. My cat has been smart enough to avoid the spray, but I occasionally smell it on the property. You seriously must close all windows, it's that toxic.

Delizadee

Lean on us kitty and SR lots! remember the important part is not giving up- slipping isn't a failure, it's merely a setback and a reminder to keep our plans strong!


I can tell ya what skunk sprays smells like. As I have had both the privilege and the honor of not only washing many an animal but also wearing the scent on my hands for a few days.

It smells like an overpowered mixture of the strongest and most bitter coffee, onions, pot and almost gasoline that you can imagine. Also depending on how badly the skunk sprayed different 'flavours' come out. Puke.
The few times it permeated my hands I thought I would go insane. I spent 45 minutes scrubbing my hands until scalding hot water. It's terrible because you can't escape the waftiness of it. ugggggggh

Applekat, have you seen "Me, Earl and the Dying Girl"? it's a great movie! I loved it... have tissues ready.
Thanks to many folks on SR I've gotten into true crime podcasts. I am obsessed!!! I listened to probably 16 hours of podcasts in two days.

I still think we should do a roll call. I wanna knoooooow you guys like, intimately. ok that sounds dirty. But remember the old a/s/l? in chatrooms and such? lol
Formal introductions. I go by Dee in real life... . My screen name is just a play on my real name... . Not too many folks out there with my name so I come up on google search real fast lol. I'm 32, crazy single trouble live in the prairies in Canada.

I always thought Dee on here was a woman too.

opalblue

Sane here. I couldn't watch someone drink in front of me every weekend. No way. It would irritate the hell out of me

opalblue

Now I really want to smell it

opalblue

Ha ha love it. In my experience the woman gets diamonds and the man gets the cheap ring.

opalblue

Do you work with your hands?

opalblue

Night OT. I am shattered myself. I was suppose to go to a meeting but couldn't be bothered. As much as I love the meetings, I also need a break from them

kittycat3

Hey KNB, yes I'm sober now. Day 1.
Feeling better than earlier but not 100%. Will rest up for the remainder of the day and tomorrow I have a workshop I've been looking forward to. I am sure it won't be easy but I'll get through this with all of your help.

JL2014

Friday.
Breakdown day.
Going to get a big pizza.
2 pages behind on posts. Will catch up.
Sinuses killing me ! Guess I'm gonna cough for 2 months.
Not drinking today.

opalblue

So Optimist..what are your triggers for panic attacks. We need to have a chat about this cause I suffer from them too. Mine started 20 years ago. They are usually triggered by certain situations. I am currently looking at therapy to combat them...although I have done therapy in the past

opalblue

I am having blood tests next Friday as my iron was high in my last test. Hopefully it will have reverted back to normal

GardenGal

Also ask the doc about gabapentin. It's prescribed for anxiety, but also apparently helps keep EtOH cravings at bay. I don't believe it's addictive.

opalblue

Gosh that's great kitty how you can just drink fir a day and then get back on the wagon

If that happened to me, yoi wouldn't hear off me for weeks. It would have set off a massive trigger in me Well done for coming back so quickly

opalblue

JL you eat as much pizza as I do chicken wings. Enjoy :-)