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New and trying my best(:

Old 01-14-2016, 08:19 AM
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New and trying my best(:

Hello everyone! I've been reading this forum for a while, since I decided to quit drinking. I've finally done this now but I'm new to it. I'm very excited that I finally know I can do this! I thought a good step would be to try and talk about it with others who are doing the same thing, and maybe even one day I can help others in the same way(:

Okay so, here's a little of my story! I know people don't use real names here so maybe you can call me Angel as im going to be listening to the Angel on my shoulder instead of the devil! and I'm 29. I've been with my husband since 2007. In the last couple of years I developed a bad habit of secretly drinking too much wine in the afternoons while my husband was at work. I also lost my job and also got in trouble with the police. Kept both these problems from my husband as I didn't want him to be mad at me and I thought I could rectify everything by myself I was not able to do so and he found out and was of course so upset with me. When he found these things out he said he had been concerned that I was hiding wine bottles in my closet and why was I doing this? I then told him I had been drinking too much

We both needed some time to process everything that happened so I went to stay with my family for a couple of weeks. I began to feel I was slowly becoming stronger so I returned home. We had a long talk and I agreed I had to work on my problems. I asked him if he wanted to stay with me and he said he still cared about me and would support me.

A week or so later he decided to go on holiday for about 3 weeks and he wanted to go by himself. While he was there (maybe a week in) a very sad thing happened, my little sister died in horrible circumstances. This did cause me a few setbacks but I was determined I wouldn't completely fall to pieces over it. When my husband came home he seemed very cold towards me, because obviously he knew I hadn't become the best I could be at that point. Not drunk but still drinking. A week after the funeral (that was Tuesday) he said we needed to talk and said he was now thinking about divorce.

We spent the night apart and I tried to process everything that had happened recently. Yesterday we had a talk where I asked what happened on his holiday that made him go from "Im angry and upset but care about you and will support you" to "let's just forget about it". He said a friend advised him to tell me to leave. He has given me six months to regain his trust and save our relationship.

I know I can live without the alcohol. He's much more important to me than that. I've been in a new job for about 6 months now which I love and am doing so well at. So I know I'm going to be the best I can be now, but I'd like some advice on how to regain trust. Any practical things I can do? Or does it just take time? Have any of you had any success with your marriage after your recovery? I need to do everything I can!
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Old 01-14-2016, 08:48 AM
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Welcome, Angel!

Yes, it just takes time. My marriage recovered after I quit drinking, but I had to deal with the issues that made me want to drink.
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Old 01-14-2016, 10:28 AM
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Thank you Coldfusion, just hearing of a success makes me think we can do this! I have suggested marriage counselling as well.. Think it could be helpful to have a mediator or unbiased perspective.

I've just realised I should have posted this in the welcome newcomers forum ahh. I'm not sure how to move it, really sorry about this
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