Dee74

Glad you found us Chewy - welcome

Congrats to all those hitting milestones today, no matter what they are - great stuff

happy belated birthday JT

You know a dumb idea when it hits you Immri - treat it with the contempt it deserves

D

JayWil

Hi all, I'm new here but not new to the struggle. hope it's ok for me to jump in. Hoping for this to be my last day 1.

immri

Thanks guys, got some food instead and feel better. Damn its powerful sometimes though! Stupid AV grr

Bmac

First day back to work after quitting 8 days ago (it was spring break). Felt kinda strange. At work I used to be so accustomed to checking the clock and then figuring out how many more hours until I would be home drinking. Today I found myself checking the clock and realized, "Oh yeah, I don't drink anymore". So instead of going home, I worked late and hit a 5:30 meeting. Move a muscle, change a thought.

Kafkaesque

Welcome JayWil! Happy to have you here

I agree Immri. I have no idea why today but I was so tempted to stop at the liquor store on my way home tonight. I didn't, but it's hard to shut the idea down sometimes. I guess this is strength training for our AV.

Dee74

Hi and welcome JayWil

D

Pouncer

I am in a really cruddy mood -- had a terrible day. I am so close to drinking. I am riding the craving and playing it through, but i get an urge five minutes later. I cannot take much more of the up-and-down-ness of all of this. I am not seeing any improvements. I have been sober for only 9 days, so I cant expect much, but there is nothing, no improvement in my mood. I am actually worse and my external world is worse.

While my husband was supportive at first, he continues to drink wine in the evening and I am sick of being around it. He doesn't understand my mood swings and I feel really guilty for being so emotionally stable right now.

Dee74

Not to discourage you but my whole first month was pretty rough.
I really underestimated the toll my addiction took on my mind and body.

Things got better tho - and when you consider I drank or drugged for 30 years, a month is not a bad initial recovery time?

I know it's rough but try and be patient Pounder

D

Bobcat17

Welcome JayWil. Hang in there Pounder.

Day 24 is in the books. Have eaten a lot of ice cream to deal with cravings. Probably not the healthiest thing, but better than drinking. And I was blessed with high metabolism, so I don't gain any weight

Mentium

11 days since I stopped drinking, which is very pleasing! Saw my addiction counsellor yesterday and had a really helpful session, trying to pin down why I was susceptible to addiction to alcohol and what to do differently to deal with some of the underlying issues, which in my case and anxiety and related physical tension. She is a very helpful and understanding person!

Onwards! All the best to all you other Marchers!

Ento

I had to go to the shops today that are next to the giant discount alcohol store. Usually it is just so easy to pop in and grab a few beers to drink later. You actually have to drive past the front of the shop to get in and out of the car park. AV was huge saying, just stop in, you are going past, you wont want to waste petrol coming back. I didn't stop. I told myself if i don't stop i have time to go through the maccas drive through and get a frozen coke. I got that froen coke and it was delicious. Almost to the end of day 3.

Mel12

Dear Marchers,

Yesterday I had zero urges to drink-smoke and no "talk" from the AV. Also yesterday work output was high, gym stats were high, and mood--though not great--was not at clinical levels of anxiety or depression.

If life can actually be this way, I might start to try to get one. More to the point, I might start to BELIEVE that I can get a life.

I wish everyone the very best in our shared challenge. Thank you each and all for your messages, which really make a difference!

Mel

jazzfish

A bit of insomnia, but sober insomnia trumps drunken insomnia. At least I can get up and do something productive. This beats the heck out of pacing around because sitting still is to nauseating, or trying to hold my head in a certain way that minimizes the pain, or doing that eat/drink then wait - is it coming or going thing.

I had an awesome non drinking victory yesterday. Because I wasn't drinking, I was able to help my daughter with her science project. In 30 minutes, she changed from hating it to loving it and declaring "I am a scientist." Wouldn't have happened drunk.

March on, Marchers!

secretary

Congrats on 16 days and the new job. Way to go.

secretary

I know it's only been two days at my new job but I'm terribly depressed. I just don't know if, after 30 years of doing it, I can sit at a desk for 40 hours a week. I might have to admit defeat and look for something part-time. And when I come home from work, I want a drink to ease all my muscle pains and give myself a reward.

Had a big blow-up with hubby this morning. I'm feeling angry and depressed.

And I want to drink.

NikTes

Secretary, how about you lean on me today and I lean on you? And all of us lean on all of us?

Tonight will be the biggest stressor for me yet so far. I'll post more on that later in the day. Worried.

I'm sorry about the new job. It might take some time to adjust? Are you able to get up and move around from time to time -- to help keep those late day muscle pains away?

NikTes

Also, it seems many of us are having struggles at home these days.

Pouncer and JT, you folks too?

I think I mentioned before that my husband is a big drinker and he doesn't know that I'm working through my own problem -- doesn't know I *have* a problem. Anyhow, the house has become an ice house. We have absolutely nothing to say to each other. Now that I'm sober, I've become even more quiet. And at night, I'm upstairs hiding away, as I've done for years. (He blacks out most nights.) Our non-commnication seems so obvious to me now. When we do try to talk, we're snippy -- and it's all surface stuff. (Oh, more snow... What would you like for dinner?)

It's not a real relationship anymore, though I love him. We've been together 20 years.

I've become so isolated over because of anxiety. No friends other than him, and he's not really a friend these days. It's scary to realize I have nobody to talk except you folks. I want to say, again, I'm so glad to have found this site, and to have found you!

secretary

It's a deal, Niktes. We lean on all the Marchers and each other. Not much walking around on the job. Hard not knowing anyone. Hard to see hubby drinking when I come home. Wow. I'm really having a bit of a pity party here.

Good luck with your evening. I know you'll get through whatever it is you need to get through.

SpiritOfDjinn

Good morning Marching Band.
I'm sorry to see a good number of you are struggling. I hope that in the days, weeks, months to come that things get better. Fighting against an addiction while simultaneously dealing with a stressful home situation has got to be terrible. Just remember that there is always someone you can lean on here. Even if it seems like everyone else has walked away.

Speaking of walking away, has anyone heard from happytobealive1 lately? I haven't seen her "in class" for awhile now. I hope she's well.

As for me, I'm on day 18. It's been an uphill slog for most of the way now. It seems like the longer I go without alcohol the more I feel like I'm going to slip up. Not to mention that since I've quit drinking, I always feel like I have less energy. I feel like I'm ready to pass out around noon... What's up with that?

Chewy88

Day 3

Groggy, tired, depressed yet hopeful and strong. All part of the body and mind's healing process.

1 day at a time, not looking ahead, trying to read, workout and rest as much as I can.

I can tell you this. Due to boozing all night and being tired the next day I developer a massive caffeine addiction. I quit that a few weeks ago and this seems like a walk in the park compared to that. I was drinking 26oz of rum a night and like 8 cups of coffee a day.