Mentium

Day 12 here today! I am feeling well over the withdrawal period thank goodness, but I have woken up this morning feeling very flat, a tad depressed and with no motivation to do anything much.

To expect to be bright eyed, bushy tailed and raring to go at this stage is unrealistic, so I am not worried about it at all. 'This too will pass' as they say!

I have noted a tendency when I have tried to stop for good before to get to this sort of stage - i.e. 'flat, bored, feeling 'meh'...therefore DRINK'!

Well that is addiction logic and there's no way I'm going to fall for that little trick!

Take care all!

jazzfish

I have been there before. It is either that flat, bored feeling, or some vague need to "blow out the pipes". I have found exercise to be the best way to combat both of those, even just walking can get rid of feelings. Congratulations on 12 days, Mentium!

My sleep is slowly returning to a regular normal. I wonder how I functioned for so long with so little quality sleep. I feel good this morning, but strange. There are all kinds of interesting brain sensations as the mind heals. Luckily, any headaches are long gone.

One of the best benefits of sobriety is the ability and desire to reengage with my kids. They really seem to sense when I am sober and available. Oddly enough, I had to help my older daughter complete a school assignment on the dangers of drinking alcohol. I am glad I wasn't slurring my way through that one; although, it made it clear that she knows about it.

Have good sober days!

secretary

Good morning Marchers, I feel so blessed to be in this class, you've been so supportive. I am 3 weeks without a drink.

Last night was terribly hard, I guess anytime I go out to eat there is a huge temptation to order a drink. Just one. (I know, that's funny, isn't it?). But I didn't. Why don't I feel more joy and pride in my strength?

I've always had a problem with depression and even though I am on an antidepressant, I feel that it has come back with a vengeance. Being sober has made me look at my life and I don't like it. I don't like my husband and I don't like my marriage. Drinking made everything okay, at least I had something in my life to comfort me. Now I have nothing.

Guess I better get ready for work. 4th day today, maybe I'll feel better when I get my first paycheck.

Have a great day Marchers, you are all doing so incredibly well.

Dee74

Things will get better secretary so long as you stay sober and keep building your sober life - in little ways like not drinking when you out for a meal...it all helps

Have patience and have faith in yourself - you can do this

secretary

Thanks so much, Dee. You always find the right words to say.

jazzfish

I was just thinking to myself that the only "benefit" to drinking is that it numbs you to the reality of what it is doing to your life. Benefits is in quotations, because it obviously isn't a benefit and in sobriety there is an urge to "make it all go away". At least in sobriety, I can finally see my life for what it has become and start to take small steps toward turning it into what I want it to be. Each day is a little bit better than before.

Congratulations on 3 weeks! That's a serious amount of sobriety.

secretary

Thanks jazzfish

Mvngon

Good morning class!! Great to see the exchange of so many experiences and ideas!!

This morning I was thinking a bit about the things that contribute to my success in this sober thing. Thought I might put them into a list, so here goes--

1. Daily exercise
2. Following a predictable routine
3. Practicing "living in the moment" as I go about my routine
4. Making new friends, and connecting with friends that I've neglected
5. Practicing "detachment"
6. Eating whole foods, and caring for my nutrition
7. De-cluttering my home and my life!!--This one needs an explanation--I started this journey 2 years ago. When I first became sober, I looked around, and everything was an overwhelming mess. For two years I have been working to straighten things out. Little by little I have chipped away at the household chaos. I must say, Martha Stewart would be proud!! Things aren't perfect, but I do feel much calmer and centered when things are organized and predictable.
8. Practicing "forgiveness"
9. Smiling--Again, this needs an explanation--When I am out and about, I work hard to smile and greet random strangers. My thought is that I want to spread some positive energy--heaven knows I've put enough negatives into the world in the past!! People often smile back, and that makes me happy. For the ones that don't, at least I haven't made their day any worse!!
10. Finding things to do that are more valuable to my well being than that glass of wine could ever be.
11. The firm "intention" that my purpose is to create a better world for everyone I encounter. Drinking simply does not support this intention.

These are the things I practice that support my recovery.

Best to each and every one of you today!!

MV

NikTes

This. This. This.

NikTes

Mvngon, this is a great list!

The 'detachment' piece is a hard one for me. A long term project, I guess.

I'm also worried about seeing a very close friend of mine in a couple of weeks. She's a heavy drinker -- we were heavy drinkers together, often polishing off 4 bottles of wine in a couple of hours and then going out on the town for more. Ugh. Anyway. She is a close friend. One of only a couple I have. I don't want to lose her. But our relationship can't stay the same either. (She lives out of town and stays with me when she visits.)

NikTes

A morning question for you, Marchers! I've been thinking about some of the subtle health issues my body was dealing with over the last couple of years.

Did any of you experience body twitches/tremors?

I'm not sure if I can clearly explain what I mean. I remember many times when my whole torso (chest/ribs) felt like it twitched. Like a quick twist or rotation. I could never figure out why. Wondering now if it was my body's response to my alcoholism/withdrawal/hangover/Idon'tknow. It hasn't happened in the last few weeks.

What do tremors/twitches feel like? (I do understand shaky hands. Boy do I.)

SpiritOfDjinn

Thanks secretary. I appreciate it. I hope that you're doing better these days. I know that things have been really difficult for you lately. We're here for you. Don't forget that.

Mvngon

Thank you Nic!! The detachment thing is tough for me too. Deteachment to expectations, outcomes, things, people...anything. All I can say is that it is a practice, and I notice that with continued practice, it has become a bit more natural. So worth it though--for me, it has greatly reduced my anxieties, and de-cluttered my racing mind.

As for your friend, I hear you--I've had a similar situation come up when I was in a good sobriety stretch. I pretty much planned exactly what we would do while she was visiting to take some of the unpredictables off the table. All of the things were things we had not done in the past. She was open to trying new activities, so this helped. She did drink a few times, but I did not--I looked forward to the activities on my agenda and was not willing to compromise them w/a hangover. This helped.

Hope that you can find a way to deal with this that honors your goals and supports your well being.

Much love,

MV

ArcticSA

24 days now. Unfortunately my mental health seems to be declining.
Depression these past few days, and I HATE feeling that way. I'm just so unhappy. I've been reading a lot of the comments above and see a lot of people going through the same thing.
It's true that alcohol numbs that feeling, gives you an artificial high good mood, and that's why it's so tempting.
I feel like my smile muscles are broken. I can't feel joy. My husband tries so hard to perk me up but he has no clue what to do and makes it worse.
I just want to be left alone but he goes at me like a little brother trying to annoy his crabby sister and make her laugh. Can't see the humor in dirty jokes right now, no thanks.
I think he gave up now and is leaving me alone. Had nightmares of leaving him last night and I wanted to hug him but he is standoffish now. Understandably so.
Just wondering how many issues I have that alcohol was "medicating"

jazzfish

I have definitely experienced some strange aches and sensations. None so serious that I felt the need to see a doctor. However, I wondered whether they were new or just something I had been feeling along, but had masked. Definitely see a doctor if it persists and worries you.

I have always been in favor of a simpler, de-cluttered life. It removes so much stress and weight from my life. One of the best things I did recently was de-clutter my approach to sobriety. There were some hiccups, but it is working fine now.

Soberwolf

I think its time we had a group hug (((Marchers)))

It will get better guys

jazzfish

Congrats on 24 days! I think early sobriety definitely can feel down as we shave off the highs and lows of our formerly dramatic lives. Have you tried some exercise? Even going for a short walk can get those endorphins flowing, the brisker the better. Yoga is another great one. It can be really hard to motivate your self the first week or two, but then the benefits really start to kick in.

NikTes

It's good to know that it's possible to forge new ground with old friends. Thanks.

And, I'll try not to forget the importance of having a plan for the day! Lots of galleries, museums, etc. In time, I'll tell her I've quit -- maybe even her next visit.

NikTes

Thanks for this, jazz. For me, the body tremors, if they were tremors, happened before I got sober... I've had none since!

Glad you're sleeping better!

NikTes

Arctic, it seems we're living parallel lives these days. Ugh. Huge fight last night. My husband said I was miserable and I couldn't disagree.