Class of August 2014 Part 16
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Good morning,
Great post, Determined.
I have been asked a few times if I wanted a drink, and I always say no, I am really watching my calories....then, I preceed to eat everything in sight! But, I am down 22 pounds, and my skin and hair look much, much better.
Unfortunately, I had SEVEN phone calls from my brother yesterday, and two already this morning. She now wants him to move out and let her keep the house. He said he is considering renting it to her. I told him ABSOLUTELY NOT, she will never give him a penny, he will not throw his three kids out, and he will be paying for a huge home he does not live in, PLUS paying wherever he does live.
His phone calls literally make me sick - bathroom visit after visit. I tell him the same things over and over; the calls keep up for a few days; I don't hear from him for a few weeks during which time I am on edge, then they start again. Today I told him I think he will be better off divorced and so will the kids be instead of living with the constant tension. Hell, I can't stand it, and I am nowhere near them. I also told him it is time for him to tell the rest of the family - of course, I said that in the hope he would start calling others instead of just me.
So, I am miserable and very much on edge today - - but, I am sober - - Today is Day 176 - racing toward my six month mark on the 16th. Unfortunately, I am at a point where I cannot even enjoy myself - all I can think of is my brother in Dallas. I worry about him every day, but when he phones so emotionally confused and sad, I just don't know what to do. I listen, offer suggestions which he does not follow, and then it repeats itself. He still has not gone to his doctor like I suggest every time he calls - starting in October; he still has not opened his own bank account; he still has not contacted a Dallas attorney; he still has not talked to my other brothers or adult nephews.
I am very sad, fighting tears, waiting for the phone to ring as I know it will.
Please send thoughts and prayers to both of us.
Great post, Determined.
I have been asked a few times if I wanted a drink, and I always say no, I am really watching my calories....then, I preceed to eat everything in sight! But, I am down 22 pounds, and my skin and hair look much, much better.
Unfortunately, I had SEVEN phone calls from my brother yesterday, and two already this morning. She now wants him to move out and let her keep the house. He said he is considering renting it to her. I told him ABSOLUTELY NOT, she will never give him a penny, he will not throw his three kids out, and he will be paying for a huge home he does not live in, PLUS paying wherever he does live.
His phone calls literally make me sick - bathroom visit after visit. I tell him the same things over and over; the calls keep up for a few days; I don't hear from him for a few weeks during which time I am on edge, then they start again. Today I told him I think he will be better off divorced and so will the kids be instead of living with the constant tension. Hell, I can't stand it, and I am nowhere near them. I also told him it is time for him to tell the rest of the family - of course, I said that in the hope he would start calling others instead of just me.
So, I am miserable and very much on edge today - - but, I am sober - - Today is Day 176 - racing toward my six month mark on the 16th. Unfortunately, I am at a point where I cannot even enjoy myself - all I can think of is my brother in Dallas. I worry about him every day, but when he phones so emotionally confused and sad, I just don't know what to do. I listen, offer suggestions which he does not follow, and then it repeats itself. He still has not gone to his doctor like I suggest every time he calls - starting in October; he still has not opened his own bank account; he still has not contacted a Dallas attorney; he still has not talked to my other brothers or adult nephews.
I am very sad, fighting tears, waiting for the phone to ring as I know it will.
Please send thoughts and prayers to both of us.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
Excellent determined!
I was thinking about the subject of moderation last week (not doing it- just the topic). I asked myself, hypothetically, if I could moderate now that I have a different take on alcohol.
My answer: maybe. Even if I had the desire to try to moderate (I do not) what a huge risk with very limited return to prove (to who? And why?) that I can change my previous habits.
I was thinking about the subject of moderation last week (not doing it- just the topic). I asked myself, hypothetically, if I could moderate now that I have a different take on alcohol.
My answer: maybe. Even if I had the desire to try to moderate (I do not) what a huge risk with very limited return to prove (to who? And why?) that I can change my previous habits.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Sorry youre going through tough times concerning your brother Scooterboo, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Feeling pretty low today after a really positive day yesterday, always feel sad and empty when I have taken my girls back to my ex's, its a cold miserable February evening, I don't want to drink I just don't want to feel sad. I know it will pass, there are no meetings local to me tonight and that makes me miss having a vehicle even more. Going to call some AA friends after, there is a meeting early tomorrow so its just a case of getting through the night- just ate a massive pizza- so not back on the healthy track yet!
Feeling pretty low today after a really positive day yesterday, always feel sad and empty when I have taken my girls back to my ex's, its a cold miserable February evening, I don't want to drink I just don't want to feel sad. I know it will pass, there are no meetings local to me tonight and that makes me miss having a vehicle even more. Going to call some AA friends after, there is a meeting early tomorrow so its just a case of getting through the night- just ate a massive pizza- so not back on the healthy track yet!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Doing something. Love your story! Hope you're ok after your stunt 😊 really hope you get moved and settled quickly, must be a bit of a nightmare living like a student at the mo, hope it all, sorts out quickly xxx
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 130
So I'm out with so normal drinking people who all order a glass of wine or a cocktail before dinner. I order my usual soda water with a splash of cranberry and oj (I really do love it - especially the free refills). The guy across from me is baffled by my drink. "What is that?" he says. I tell him the ingredients. "It doesn't have any alcohol? Really? Does it have a name?" I told him I just call it "my usual". People's reaction to not drinking is funny. Even light drinkers are taken aback by non-hootch drinkers.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it sometimes. I even have thoughts some days that it's a real bummer I can't whoop it up a little. But I remember that it really was a serious activity for me. It would take up the larger portions of a day (and the next). There was never any "a little". Not to mention, it was beginning to do a job on my mind and body. Which is why we're a part of this community. Many of us are looking at cresting 6 months. It's a big hurdle in recovery and it's important that we stay vigilant. Let's all remember what brought us here - especially the early months, the nose to the grindstone days.
It's a new life for us. Mind that demon cause it's a nasty one.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss it sometimes. I even have thoughts some days that it's a real bummer I can't whoop it up a little. But I remember that it really was a serious activity for me. It would take up the larger portions of a day (and the next). There was never any "a little". Not to mention, it was beginning to do a job on my mind and body. Which is why we're a part of this community. Many of us are looking at cresting 6 months. It's a big hurdle in recovery and it's important that we stay vigilant. Let's all remember what brought us here - especially the early months, the nose to the grindstone days.
It's a new life for us. Mind that demon cause it's a nasty one.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
(((ScooterBoo))) My thoughts and prayers are with you and your brother (and his children).
Mostly I am worried about you my friend. I hate to hear that you are so miserable and on edge because of this situation that you have no control over. I am happy to hear that you suggested he tell the rest of the family. I can speak from experience that my children are much happier now that we are divorced because it is much better than when they were living in a house full of tension.
Hope tomorrow is better.
Mostly I am worried about you my friend. I hate to hear that you are so miserable and on edge because of this situation that you have no control over. I am happy to hear that you suggested he tell the rest of the family. I can speak from experience that my children are much happier now that we are divorced because it is much better than when they were living in a house full of tension.
Hope tomorrow is better.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I'm wishing you well too ScooterBoo.
Grateful said it well - you have no real control over any of the aspects here and I'm worried that it's weighing on you so heavily.
I hope he elects to tell the rest of the family because IMO this is terribly unfair, and unhealthy, on you.
D
Grateful said it well - you have no real control over any of the aspects here and I'm worried that it's weighing on you so heavily.
I hope he elects to tell the rest of the family because IMO this is terribly unfair, and unhealthy, on you.
D
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,347
Another Sunday sober sunrise!
Scooter, I agree with others, it will be good to not have to saddle this one solo. Hang tough, this will pass.
Doingsomething, you were spot on with your post. Captured my feelings perfectly. Easy to forget where we came from with six months of miles behind us. We must remember that we speak another language than most, I.e., a few drinks and a jolly good laugh translates for us into a blackout, hangover and a starting of a bender without a clear definition of ending or outcome.
Time for us all to kick it up and get moving on another six months!
To that;
"Pigpen, this here's the rubber duck and I'm about to put the hammer down!!" C.W. McCall.
Endurance.
Scooter, I agree with others, it will be good to not have to saddle this one solo. Hang tough, this will pass.
Doingsomething, you were spot on with your post. Captured my feelings perfectly. Easy to forget where we came from with six months of miles behind us. We must remember that we speak another language than most, I.e., a few drinks and a jolly good laugh translates for us into a blackout, hangover and a starting of a bender without a clear definition of ending or outcome.
Time for us all to kick it up and get moving on another six months!
To that;
"Pigpen, this here's the rubber duck and I'm about to put the hammer down!!" C.W. McCall.
Endurance.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
The sadness passed and Im back to being positive today! Hit the early 11am meeting and feel better for it, shared and got good feedback. Day 10 today, first time ive had double digits for a while! Hope everyone is well, catch up again soon.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: NH
Posts: 110
hello all-
I too, am feeling the 6 month "pull" towards…."maybe I can moderate"? I know I can't and I know I won't. I'm puzzled, disgusted and frustrated as to why I am even asking myself this question. I think others may have it right….after such a period of time, theres a tendency to forget where I came from. In August, I was miserable, bloated, depressed, anxious, sick, tired and not feeling very good about life or myself. Now that things have turned around 180 degrees I almost want to celebrate it the way I have always celebrated everything. I have used the line…."I don't drink" for the past 3 months and lately I have found myself having to use the line…."I can't drink".
Scooter- I hope things resolve quickly with your family situation, I know how much it affects you. If they do decide to divorce, it sounds like a lengthy and ugly situation will unfold. Maybe coming up with a long-term strategy to get thru it is in order? Your brother is most comfortable leaning on you, he most likely is in pain right now and will be for awhile. When we are in pain, we aren't typically worried about others pain. You need to take care of you first and foremost!
All great journeys begin with the first step, first day, first week, first month. They add up quickly.
It is so good and so helpful to read here and see everyones achievements and struggles. --Shout outs to - London, Pink, 1Step, Max, Ultra, Doing, Determined, Choob, Grateful, Chris, Cute, Outdrsman,ee and anyone I've missed. Keep up the great work everyone, we can do this.
I too, am feeling the 6 month "pull" towards…."maybe I can moderate"? I know I can't and I know I won't. I'm puzzled, disgusted and frustrated as to why I am even asking myself this question. I think others may have it right….after such a period of time, theres a tendency to forget where I came from. In August, I was miserable, bloated, depressed, anxious, sick, tired and not feeling very good about life or myself. Now that things have turned around 180 degrees I almost want to celebrate it the way I have always celebrated everything. I have used the line…."I don't drink" for the past 3 months and lately I have found myself having to use the line…."I can't drink".
Scooter- I hope things resolve quickly with your family situation, I know how much it affects you. If they do decide to divorce, it sounds like a lengthy and ugly situation will unfold. Maybe coming up with a long-term strategy to get thru it is in order? Your brother is most comfortable leaning on you, he most likely is in pain right now and will be for awhile. When we are in pain, we aren't typically worried about others pain. You need to take care of you first and foremost!
All great journeys begin with the first step, first day, first week, first month. They add up quickly.
It is so good and so helpful to read here and see everyones achievements and struggles. --Shout outs to - London, Pink, 1Step, Max, Ultra, Doing, Determined, Choob, Grateful, Chris, Cute, Outdrsman,ee and anyone I've missed. Keep up the great work everyone, we can do this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Greetings!
Thank you all for the kind words, advice, prayers and thoughts. It is helping. Yesterday, on call number 8, I let my brother have it....I told him I cannot stand this! You call, I tell you what I think you should do, you don't do it - status quo - - she loses her mind again, you call - - it is like GROUNDHOG DAY! You need to get a plan in action when things are stable - not when she is constantly berating you. You need to see a doctor THIS WEEK! You need meds and counseling. I don't think calling me is helping you at all. Stop moping. She wants to know what your goals are???(that is her latest - hers is to be a multi-millionaire, she thinks he is stagnant) Tell her your (*&^&^% #1 goal is to be a good parent. Then, take the three kids and go somewhere and have fun! I HAVE HAD IT! ( I went on for some time)
He said talking to me does help, and he knows I am right - he should tell others in the family, he does need his own bank account, he should see the doctor - but, he is just overwhelmed. I said that is just too bad - - get hold of yourself and DO IT!!
Well, he texted later to say he took the three kids bowling - something they had never done before - with a good friend and his two kids. I have not heard from him since. My first thought today when I hadn't heard from him when I got home from walking the beach was he must be upset with me, then I remembered how he had texted they were going bowling - probably to show me he had finally taken some advice, so I assume he is calm.
Meanwhile, I know, as ClearEyes said, my brother is in so much pain he has no idea what he is doing to me physically and emotionally. AND, I honestly don't know why this is bothering me as much as it does, even though I worry because of his teenage bout with depression. I JUMP when the phone rings! My neighbor dropped by this morning to walk to the beach together for our neighborhood Sunday morning walk, and I JUMPED!
I resent that I cannot be calm and happy about my sobriety and weight loss. I resent the constant feeling of dread I have. I am trying hard to follow my late mother's advice - Put one foot in front of the other and a smile on your face - that she gave us whenever we were upset.
I spoke to my doctor about this last week, and we talked about whether I should see a counselor or if I should go on meds. I told her I don't want to get addicted to meds, and I don't want to go on something with weight-gain as a side effect. I am trying an all-natural alternative that is supposed to relieve stress and anxiety. This is Day Two on it - I think it will take a while to see if it works - I will give it two weeks, and if I am still having these problems I will call my doctor for the prescription for something stronger.
I am much too private a person to see a counselor; I have told my close friend Bob and my dear SR team...that is it.
I apologize for such a long post, but writing this really helps me to put things in perspective. One thing for certain, I would be much, much worse, and no doubt would have phoned the sister-in-law if I was still drinking. Sobriety came at a great time for me to deal with this issue.
But, I wish I was enjoying it more - this morning I realized the pair of jeans I have kept for more than fifteen years - my very, very favorite - that I grew out of so quickly they are like new- - the only pair I kept whenever I realized I was never going to squeeze into them again - - is now baggy in the backside! Now, that should be cause for celebration! But, for some crazy reason, I tend to celebrate weight loss with chocolate; hmmmm, sort of like the first thought in celebrating a certain amount of time of sobriety always makes me think I should buy champagne to celebrate.
Thank you all for the kind words, advice, prayers and thoughts. It is helping. Yesterday, on call number 8, I let my brother have it....I told him I cannot stand this! You call, I tell you what I think you should do, you don't do it - status quo - - she loses her mind again, you call - - it is like GROUNDHOG DAY! You need to get a plan in action when things are stable - not when she is constantly berating you. You need to see a doctor THIS WEEK! You need meds and counseling. I don't think calling me is helping you at all. Stop moping. She wants to know what your goals are???(that is her latest - hers is to be a multi-millionaire, she thinks he is stagnant) Tell her your (*&^&^% #1 goal is to be a good parent. Then, take the three kids and go somewhere and have fun! I HAVE HAD IT! ( I went on for some time)
He said talking to me does help, and he knows I am right - he should tell others in the family, he does need his own bank account, he should see the doctor - but, he is just overwhelmed. I said that is just too bad - - get hold of yourself and DO IT!!
Well, he texted later to say he took the three kids bowling - something they had never done before - with a good friend and his two kids. I have not heard from him since. My first thought today when I hadn't heard from him when I got home from walking the beach was he must be upset with me, then I remembered how he had texted they were going bowling - probably to show me he had finally taken some advice, so I assume he is calm.
Meanwhile, I know, as ClearEyes said, my brother is in so much pain he has no idea what he is doing to me physically and emotionally. AND, I honestly don't know why this is bothering me as much as it does, even though I worry because of his teenage bout with depression. I JUMP when the phone rings! My neighbor dropped by this morning to walk to the beach together for our neighborhood Sunday morning walk, and I JUMPED!
I resent that I cannot be calm and happy about my sobriety and weight loss. I resent the constant feeling of dread I have. I am trying hard to follow my late mother's advice - Put one foot in front of the other and a smile on your face - that she gave us whenever we were upset.
I spoke to my doctor about this last week, and we talked about whether I should see a counselor or if I should go on meds. I told her I don't want to get addicted to meds, and I don't want to go on something with weight-gain as a side effect. I am trying an all-natural alternative that is supposed to relieve stress and anxiety. This is Day Two on it - I think it will take a while to see if it works - I will give it two weeks, and if I am still having these problems I will call my doctor for the prescription for something stronger.
I am much too private a person to see a counselor; I have told my close friend Bob and my dear SR team...that is it.
I apologize for such a long post, but writing this really helps me to put things in perspective. One thing for certain, I would be much, much worse, and no doubt would have phoned the sister-in-law if I was still drinking. Sobriety came at a great time for me to deal with this issue.
But, I wish I was enjoying it more - this morning I realized the pair of jeans I have kept for more than fifteen years - my very, very favorite - that I grew out of so quickly they are like new- - the only pair I kept whenever I realized I was never going to squeeze into them again - - is now baggy in the backside! Now, that should be cause for celebration! But, for some crazy reason, I tend to celebrate weight loss with chocolate; hmmmm, sort of like the first thought in celebrating a certain amount of time of sobriety always makes me think I should buy champagne to celebrate.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Ee day 1! First day nearly down! Great start, keep going. It's day by day. Sometimes it's even minute to minute , just take a deep breath when the Av comes knocking and get on here and we will support you, you can do this. A new start, which is part of your new future. We got your back 😊
1 step, you're doing great!!!
Scooter, thinking of you and sending big hugs 😊
Clear eyes, I think we lull ourselves into a false sense of security sometimes with sobriety., I always reflect on what dee said once. Do not confuse abstinence with control. We all know we can't drink. Let's keep going, we gotta make that year honey! We can do this xxx
London, how you doing? I'm heading down your way Saturday to be a tourist 😊 should be fun. Can you recommend anywhere for a meal sat night that's less than £100? Just me and the other half. Bear in kind it's valentines and most places are booked! Didn't know if you have any little gems. Any cuisine. Thanks in advance 😊
1 step, you're doing great!!!
Scooter, thinking of you and sending big hugs 😊
Clear eyes, I think we lull ourselves into a false sense of security sometimes with sobriety., I always reflect on what dee said once. Do not confuse abstinence with control. We all know we can't drink. Let's keep going, we gotta make that year honey! We can do this xxx
London, how you doing? I'm heading down your way Saturday to be a tourist 😊 should be fun. Can you recommend anywhere for a meal sat night that's less than £100? Just me and the other half. Bear in kind it's valentines and most places are booked! Didn't know if you have any little gems. Any cuisine. Thanks in advance 😊
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Ok guys, that's another weekend over! When I drank, weekends were my favourite times. When i git sober, they were my hardest times. Now I've been sober 5.5 months, they are my most favourite times ever! This weekend has consisted of little bits of loveliness. Snuggles in bed on a Saturday morning instead of being hungover and reaking of booze? AWESOME! Had lunch with my mum and went to bingo and won £100 Yay! This will be financing a day trip to London on Saturday with my other half for valentines! When drinking, I would have blown this on a night out last night and Pissed it up the wall all by myself. AWESOME! Last night was watching reruns of firefly sitting by the fire chatting, instead of the drinking me going out every half hour for a smoke and another glass of wine.
Today, more morning snuggles, never get tired of this! Lunch out, followed by a long country drive around the droves. Saw the most amazing sunset, felt the wind I my cheeks, my hair blowing in the wind, saw 6 buzzards, 2 herons, 9 kestrels and 5 barn owls. This evening, made myself an owl print messenger bag for work and prepped some meals for the rest of the week, and spent time researching what to do in London o Saturday. I've had a lovely weekend, and hope you all have too 😊
I am going to the gym tomorrow. I've not been this year really due to my body falling apart around me! Tomorrow after work I will try to rotate 10 mins walking on the treadmill, 10 mins walking on the cross trainer, and 10 mins on the recumbent cycle. If I'm not half dead, I will repeat. If half dead, will come home and whack dinner on and start studying before my sweetheart comes home. That's the plan. I need to get my fitness back up before insane terrain in April! Also looking forward to my intermediate tennis coaching course, have missed it!
So valentines day in London. Early train there. Our plan is tower of London, the operating theatre and apothecary museum as my pick (the nurse in me!), Thames barrier his pick ( he's a hydrogeologist) then the British museum for pure geekiness and then dinner, and then a late train home. Lovely valentines day 😊
No news really, just trying to keep the momentum going on the roller coaster, really enjoying the ride at the moment, but holding on tight incase there's a nasty drop ahead!
So my other half who is terrified of the idea of having children casually said over lunch......now we don't drink, all the stuff we do is child friendly anyway....I guess the things we do do would only be more fun with a pair of little legs to share it with........and our new home is a perfect family size.......okay! Think our relationship has deepened so much without the plonk, and maybe he was just terrified of his children having an alcoholic mother? Either way, this was such a lovely thing to hear....I've always wanted a family but thought it wasn't on our cards. Guess I have a better hand now. Happy happy happy 😊
Feeling optimistic today
Tell me something good that happened in your day, even if the best you got was that the milk wasn't off! Tell me something good, keep the positivity baton passing on between us, particularly for those who need to hold it today ☺
Love you guys, night night xxxxxxxx
Today, more morning snuggles, never get tired of this! Lunch out, followed by a long country drive around the droves. Saw the most amazing sunset, felt the wind I my cheeks, my hair blowing in the wind, saw 6 buzzards, 2 herons, 9 kestrels and 5 barn owls. This evening, made myself an owl print messenger bag for work and prepped some meals for the rest of the week, and spent time researching what to do in London o Saturday. I've had a lovely weekend, and hope you all have too 😊
I am going to the gym tomorrow. I've not been this year really due to my body falling apart around me! Tomorrow after work I will try to rotate 10 mins walking on the treadmill, 10 mins walking on the cross trainer, and 10 mins on the recumbent cycle. If I'm not half dead, I will repeat. If half dead, will come home and whack dinner on and start studying before my sweetheart comes home. That's the plan. I need to get my fitness back up before insane terrain in April! Also looking forward to my intermediate tennis coaching course, have missed it!
So valentines day in London. Early train there. Our plan is tower of London, the operating theatre and apothecary museum as my pick (the nurse in me!), Thames barrier his pick ( he's a hydrogeologist) then the British museum for pure geekiness and then dinner, and then a late train home. Lovely valentines day 😊
No news really, just trying to keep the momentum going on the roller coaster, really enjoying the ride at the moment, but holding on tight incase there's a nasty drop ahead!
So my other half who is terrified of the idea of having children casually said over lunch......now we don't drink, all the stuff we do is child friendly anyway....I guess the things we do do would only be more fun with a pair of little legs to share it with........and our new home is a perfect family size.......okay! Think our relationship has deepened so much without the plonk, and maybe he was just terrified of his children having an alcoholic mother? Either way, this was such a lovely thing to hear....I've always wanted a family but thought it wasn't on our cards. Guess I have a better hand now. Happy happy happy 😊
Feeling optimistic today
Tell me something good that happened in your day, even if the best you got was that the milk wasn't off! Tell me something good, keep the positivity baton passing on between us, particularly for those who need to hold it today ☺
Love you guys, night night xxxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Hey all
I had a busy old weekend catching up with friends and family
Hoping everyone is OK. Hugs scooter. 1step glad you are through the weekend and AA helped you. EE day one is a great step. You can do it.
Pink - I spotted your London post. That sounds great your special valentines. Let me have a little think tomorrow on any restuarant gems !!
Great to read and catch up on the posts.
It's way past bedtime so I will say goodnight and happy weekend all.
I had a busy old weekend catching up with friends and family
Hoping everyone is OK. Hugs scooter. 1step glad you are through the weekend and AA helped you. EE day one is a great step. You can do it.
Pink - I spotted your London post. That sounds great your special valentines. Let me have a little think tomorrow on any restuarant gems !!
Great to read and catch up on the posts.
It's way past bedtime so I will say goodnight and happy weekend all.
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