One Year and Under Club Part 40
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Gilmer, many congrats on your wonderful one year soberversary!!!
GF, big congrats on passing your exam!
About retirement community - a good lesson for me as I work to stay sober. After the roughest day yesterday since being sober, I went to an AA meeting. I finally am feeling more comfortable going to meetings and am gradually finding myself becoming more open to what I can learn there. After the really good meeting, I came home and started thinking about the whole retirement community thing. It finally dawned on me that this is a case where I have done all I can and now I need to accept whatever happens (without kicking and screaming). And I realized that although it's not certain, they have a responsibility to protect the financial solvency of the community for everyone. If I need to sign an amendment, the terms would only kick in IF I have a recurrence of heart condition and if that were to happen, my life expectancy would be quite short and therefore cost wouldn't be an issue. So I'm getting all hot and bothered over the fact that I can't control everything!!! There may be some anxiety, too, over the reality of this actually happening and "What if I hate it" kind of stuff.
So, here is a classic example of how I get myself wound up and would drink to relieve the anxiety ... which would lead to more anxiety. Whew! What an insane way to live. I realize now that I have a good bit of work to do about learning to let go when appropriate and not get totally frustrated and ugly when things don't go the way I expect they "should".
GF, big congrats on passing your exam!
About retirement community - a good lesson for me as I work to stay sober. After the roughest day yesterday since being sober, I went to an AA meeting. I finally am feeling more comfortable going to meetings and am gradually finding myself becoming more open to what I can learn there. After the really good meeting, I came home and started thinking about the whole retirement community thing. It finally dawned on me that this is a case where I have done all I can and now I need to accept whatever happens (without kicking and screaming). And I realized that although it's not certain, they have a responsibility to protect the financial solvency of the community for everyone. If I need to sign an amendment, the terms would only kick in IF I have a recurrence of heart condition and if that were to happen, my life expectancy would be quite short and therefore cost wouldn't be an issue. So I'm getting all hot and bothered over the fact that I can't control everything!!! There may be some anxiety, too, over the reality of this actually happening and "What if I hate it" kind of stuff.
So, here is a classic example of how I get myself wound up and would drink to relieve the anxiety ... which would lead to more anxiety. Whew! What an insane way to live. I realize now that I have a good bit of work to do about learning to let go when appropriate and not get totally frustrated and ugly when things don't go the way I expect they "should".
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I've been cheating--I had my husband unblock SR at home all day the last couple of days so I could bask! Thus, I haven't needed to go out to McD's in the mornings lately. Next week I'll get back to my routine!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Saskia 
Gilmer, many congrats on your wonderful one year soberversary!!!
GF, big congrats on passing your exam!
About retirement community - a good lesson for me as I work to stay sober. After the roughest day yesterday since being sober, I went to an AA meeting. I finally am feeling more comfortable going to meetings and am gradually finding myself becoming more open to what I can learn there. After the really good meeting, I came home and started thinking about the whole retirement community thing. It finally dawned on me that this is a case where I have done all I can and now I need to accept whatever happens (without kicking and screaming). And I realized that although it's not certain, they have a responsibility to protect the financial solvency of the community for everyone. If I need to sign an amendment, the terms would only kick in IF I have a recurrence of heart condition and if that were to happen, my life expectancy would be quite short and therefore cost wouldn't be an issue. So I'm getting all hot and bothered over the fact that I can't control everything!!! There may be some anxiety, too, over the reality of this actually happening and "What if I hate it" kind of stuff.
So, here is a classic example of how I get myself wound up and would drink to relieve the anxiety ... which would lead to more anxiety. Whew! What an insane way to live. I realize now that I have a good bit of work to do about learning to let go when appropriate and not get totally frustrated and ugly when things don't go the way I expect they "should".
GF, big congrats on passing your exam!
About retirement community - a good lesson for me as I work to stay sober. After the roughest day yesterday since being sober, I went to an AA meeting. I finally am feeling more comfortable going to meetings and am gradually finding myself becoming more open to what I can learn there. After the really good meeting, I came home and started thinking about the whole retirement community thing. It finally dawned on me that this is a case where I have done all I can and now I need to accept whatever happens (without kicking and screaming). And I realized that although it's not certain, they have a responsibility to protect the financial solvency of the community for everyone. If I need to sign an amendment, the terms would only kick in IF I have a recurrence of heart condition and if that were to happen, my life expectancy would be quite short and therefore cost wouldn't be an issue. So I'm getting all hot and bothered over the fact that I can't control everything!!! There may be some anxiety, too, over the reality of this actually happening and "What if I hate it" kind of stuff.
So, here is a classic example of how I get myself wound up and would drink to relieve the anxiety ... which would lead to more anxiety. Whew! What an insane way to live. I realize now that I have a good bit of work to do about learning to let go when appropriate and not get totally frustrated and ugly when things don't go the way I expect they "should".
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by gleefan
I'm pleased to report that I passed my exam at work; I get to keep my job - and I move into the next phase of training Monday morning. ......
......
The important thing over the next several days is not to let my success lead me to be ruled by my ego. While I'm proud of my accomplishment and excited for Monday, only humility, peace, joy and love can guide me in the right direction.
......
The important thing over the next several days is not to let my success lead me to be ruled by my ego. While I'm proud of my accomplishment and excited for Monday, only humility, peace, joy and love can guide me in the right direction.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Originally Posted by calichris
Hey sober twin, you really have things in perspective I am so proud of you! It must have felt so liberating to write down how you feel/felt about this. Your thinking is so healthy and completely in line with making your sobriety the #1 priority. Love and hugs, Chris
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
I started a thread for Gilmer -- show up & show your love!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5020525
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post5020525
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,179
Gilmer, I am so happy for you on reaching that wonderful milestone in your new sober life. Your kind and sweet words and thoughts to others coupled with offering your struggles have helped all of us to grow and strengthen our individual recovery programs. Enjoy, reflect, keep giving it back...and, do it AGAIN!!
Sask, I really enjoyed your post...so true how we get all hung up on trying to predict outcomes and control when the present is just as advertised...A PRESENT!
BF, relax and enjoy a day to recharge. You, my dear, for sure have earned it after this long womp week!
Glee, whatever that spa treatment was, it's on my list for my next business celebration. Congrats on not just passing that test, but, on doing the next right thing for the three weeks leading up to it. In my active addiction, after that accomplishment, I would still be in recovery after Friday nights activities. You are becoming exactly what you expected you were going to be till alcohol derailed you. Onward and upward in a lifetime and recovery!
Well gang, that is as far back as the thread goes in the past in this mode. Oh, I remember...good luch with those test results, LS.
Yes, yesterday was the full range of emotions as I sorted through a lifetime of our old things. My MAIN goal was to find a sales training program that I helped write with a small group in 1980 while working for Panasonic in their newly formed office systems division. It has nothing to do with product knowledge and everything to do with the philosophy of successfully communicating. It is FOUND! I cannot wait to get started repackaging this gem for the business I plan to start in St Thomas.
I was telling a recovery 'friend' (?) how I threw all my sports and business trophies and plaques away. Goodness knows why I kept them anyway. However, I could not part with this cheesy plaque for being my cities hop-scotch champion in the mid 60's. Nor could I toss the 20 or so Playboy mags from the late 70's-early 80's. My initial plan was to sell them on one of those sites...but, my recovery friend offered an alternative suggestion. Since I am hosting my gf this afternoon, this CRAZY LADY (you know who you are) said I should put those mags on coffee table display and hang my hop-scotch plaque to impress my gf and present a mood. Hey, why not?
Have a good one, Undies.
Carlos
PS - Oh, Courage, nice to see you popping by!
Sask, I really enjoyed your post...so true how we get all hung up on trying to predict outcomes and control when the present is just as advertised...A PRESENT!
BF, relax and enjoy a day to recharge. You, my dear, for sure have earned it after this long womp week!
Glee, whatever that spa treatment was, it's on my list for my next business celebration. Congrats on not just passing that test, but, on doing the next right thing for the three weeks leading up to it. In my active addiction, after that accomplishment, I would still be in recovery after Friday nights activities. You are becoming exactly what you expected you were going to be till alcohol derailed you. Onward and upward in a lifetime and recovery!
Well gang, that is as far back as the thread goes in the past in this mode. Oh, I remember...good luch with those test results, LS.
Yes, yesterday was the full range of emotions as I sorted through a lifetime of our old things. My MAIN goal was to find a sales training program that I helped write with a small group in 1980 while working for Panasonic in their newly formed office systems division. It has nothing to do with product knowledge and everything to do with the philosophy of successfully communicating. It is FOUND! I cannot wait to get started repackaging this gem for the business I plan to start in St Thomas.
I was telling a recovery 'friend' (?) how I threw all my sports and business trophies and plaques away. Goodness knows why I kept them anyway. However, I could not part with this cheesy plaque for being my cities hop-scotch champion in the mid 60's. Nor could I toss the 20 or so Playboy mags from the late 70's-early 80's. My initial plan was to sell them on one of those sites...but, my recovery friend offered an alternative suggestion. Since I am hosting my gf this afternoon, this CRAZY LADY (you know who you are) said I should put those mags on coffee table display and hang my hop-scotch plaque to impress my gf and present a mood. Hey, why not?
Have a good one, Undies.
Carlos
PS - Oh, Courage, nice to see you popping by!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Saskia - For me, recognizing that I'm powerless over alcohol in Step One opened the door to realizing that I'm powerless over everything. That has been hands down one of the most freeing realizations I've ever experienced. When I'm tense or worried, most times it's because I'm worried something isn't going to go the way I want it to. Letting that go has had a profound effect on my life. In the immediate term, it's helped me find peace in the moment where I'm experiencing the anxiety. It goes beyond that, though. It's opened my life to opportunities and possibilities that I never expected, but are a great fit.
Gilmer - It's great to see you enjoying all the love today.
Carlos - Good job getting through the emotional land mines yesterday. Thanks for the incredibly warm words of support, and for your friend's interior decorating tips.
I had a dream last night about ego - specifically mine - taking over, and wondering if it would really be all that bad. Then as luck (or maybe the universe, or maybe a higher power) would have it this morning I had the opportunity to see what happens when ego takes over.
My son's team was playing a team that hasn't won yet and today was the first game where they were evenly matched all season. The fans were excited and boisterous - and most of us understood the fans' extreme enthusiasm..... Except for one parent on our team who felt the need to singlehandedly match the other team cheer for cheer. His cheering struck me as having less to do with his enthusiasm for the kids on the ice than his desire not to be outdone.
I've known this particular parent (and his mom and sister) since we were kids. Here's an example of someone who is not a drinker or addict, but could use AA and the 12 steps in his life. I'm sure we all know people like that. As weird as this may sound, it's why I am at times finding myself actually thankful that I'm an alcoholic - for introducing these amazing principles into my life, and for changing the nature and direction of my choices from ego, self centeredness, self-righteousness and anger to hope, peace, acceptance and love.
Have a great day Undies!
Gilmer - It's great to see you enjoying all the love today.
Carlos - Good job getting through the emotional land mines yesterday. Thanks for the incredibly warm words of support, and for your friend's interior decorating tips.
I had a dream last night about ego - specifically mine - taking over, and wondering if it would really be all that bad. Then as luck (or maybe the universe, or maybe a higher power) would have it this morning I had the opportunity to see what happens when ego takes over.
My son's team was playing a team that hasn't won yet and today was the first game where they were evenly matched all season. The fans were excited and boisterous - and most of us understood the fans' extreme enthusiasm..... Except for one parent on our team who felt the need to singlehandedly match the other team cheer for cheer. His cheering struck me as having less to do with his enthusiasm for the kids on the ice than his desire not to be outdone.
I've known this particular parent (and his mom and sister) since we were kids. Here's an example of someone who is not a drinker or addict, but could use AA and the 12 steps in his life. I'm sure we all know people like that. As weird as this may sound, it's why I am at times finding myself actually thankful that I'm an alcoholic - for introducing these amazing principles into my life, and for changing the nature and direction of my choices from ego, self centeredness, self-righteousness and anger to hope, peace, acceptance and love.
Have a great day Undies!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Thanks, everybody.
Carlos, I want to give you a special thank you for offering me your honorary 11-month chip! Good luck with your special decor!
You all have been a great support along the way. I am really stunned.
Carlos, I want to give you a special thank you for offering me your honorary 11-month chip! Good luck with your special decor!
You all have been a great support along the way. I am really stunned.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,286
Glee, I've long been aware that there is much over which I am powerless. Convincing my inner kid and rebel of that is where my challenge lies in this as in much else... and my little rebel can take over in seconds. So my challenge is slightly different ... I need to intercept my incredibly strong little rebel and keep her from sabotaging me. That little fighter is who I credit with my survival through many difficult years. Now, however, that part of me is a distinct liability and I'm very slowly having to learn how to manage that. I know it will come but it is a challenging process.
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