Class Of March 2014 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 625
So good to jump in and see all the hurdles you've passed and the care you're taking of yourselves. I'm taking care of myself too! I had delicious ramen twice today. No, not the instant package, the delicious Japanese and Korean homemade soul food. Mmmmmm
BUT MEANWHILE in the RAGE files....
My husband hung up the phone on me earlier this evening because I was being "short." I cannot abide by the hang up. I got so angry, and could not calm down. I was by myself, and I had to drive. I had to be somewhere. I was worried about driving angry. But I drove. And I screamed at the top of my lungs.
It scared me how angry I got but I knew that I must open a valve so I screamed bloody murder for something like 10 minutes. I felt much better. My driving was fine by the way, I am notorious for being overly cautious. The neighboring drivers at red lights must have thought I was insane. I didn't know what else to do. I felt like I could sprint a mile or turn over a mail box!
My husband called me back and he was irritated but I demanded he tell me what he thought he was doing, and he explained that he had thought I said goodbye and he had had to get back to work, and I was being "short". I didn't even care anymore if he had hung up or not. I finally let it go.
Did I scare anyone? I was a bit scared and didn't know what to do with my feelings. Because now all of a sudden I am feeeeeeeling them. Oh great. So there's that. A nice new little anger problem.
In other news, I tested myself for the first time. Since the trip to visit the friend had been cancelled, I went to another friend's birthday party at a bowing alley. First time being around drinkers and booze. I stayed for an hour. I left because I really do have to work early tomorrow. But there it is, I did it. Even after the hang up incident. I was so scared I'd go straight to that bar and throw it all out the window, but I kept trying to remember what you all say, and that it would pass.
I made a couple of business contacts too.
Finally, goodnight. Thank you for sharing all of your experiences so consistently, it really helped me get through today.
Ilya
BUT MEANWHILE in the RAGE files....
My husband hung up the phone on me earlier this evening because I was being "short." I cannot abide by the hang up. I got so angry, and could not calm down. I was by myself, and I had to drive. I had to be somewhere. I was worried about driving angry. But I drove. And I screamed at the top of my lungs.
It scared me how angry I got but I knew that I must open a valve so I screamed bloody murder for something like 10 minutes. I felt much better. My driving was fine by the way, I am notorious for being overly cautious. The neighboring drivers at red lights must have thought I was insane. I didn't know what else to do. I felt like I could sprint a mile or turn over a mail box!
My husband called me back and he was irritated but I demanded he tell me what he thought he was doing, and he explained that he had thought I said goodbye and he had had to get back to work, and I was being "short". I didn't even care anymore if he had hung up or not. I finally let it go.
Did I scare anyone? I was a bit scared and didn't know what to do with my feelings. Because now all of a sudden I am feeeeeeeling them. Oh great. So there's that. A nice new little anger problem.
In other news, I tested myself for the first time. Since the trip to visit the friend had been cancelled, I went to another friend's birthday party at a bowing alley. First time being around drinkers and booze. I stayed for an hour. I left because I really do have to work early tomorrow. But there it is, I did it. Even after the hang up incident. I was so scared I'd go straight to that bar and throw it all out the window, but I kept trying to remember what you all say, and that it would pass.
I made a couple of business contacts too.
Finally, goodnight. Thank you for sharing all of your experiences so consistently, it really helped me get through today.
Ilya
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Sorry I was just catching up on the past few hours posts... Okay now good night for real... 
See you all tomorrow for a bright, clear, sober, happy day !! I will toast you all with my morning tea
See you all tomorrow for a bright, clear, sober, happy day !! I will toast you all with my morning tea
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 206
Fantastic job, Ilya!!! I can scream bloody murder (my parents used to tell me that I would be a good Mule skinner). Recently, my younger daughter and I had a screaming contest. We did it in the car, on the freeway, because if I screamed in the house, the neighbors would call the cops. I won.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Ilya 
So good to jump in and see all the hurdles you've passed and the care you're taking of yourselves. I'm taking care of myself too! I had delicious ramen twice today. No, not the instant package, the delicious Japanese and Korean homemade soul food. Mmmmmm
BUT MEANWHILE in the RAGE files....
My husband hung up the phone on me earlier this evening because I was being "short." I cannot abide by the hang up. I got so angry, and could not calm down. I was by myself, and I had to drive. I had to be somewhere. I was worried about driving angry. But I drove. And I screamed at the top of my lungs.
It scared me how angry I got but I knew that I must open a valve so I screamed bloody murder for something like 10 minutes. I felt much better. My driving was fine by the way, I am notorious for being overly cautious. The neighboring drivers at red lights must have thought I was insane. I didn't know what else to do. I felt like I could sprint a mile or turn over a mail box!
My husband called me back and he was irritated but I demanded he tell me what he thought he was doing, and he explained that he had thought I said goodbye and he had had to get back to work, and I was being "short". I didn't even care anymore if he had hung up or not. I finally let it go.
Did I scare anyone? I was a bit scared and didn't know what to do with my feelings. Because now all of a sudden I am feeeeeeeling them. Oh great. So there's that. A nice new little anger problem.
In other news, I tested myself for the first time. Since the trip to visit the friend had been cancelled, I went to another friend's birthday party at a bowing alley. First time being around drinkers and booze. I stayed for an hour. I left because I really do have to work early tomorrow. But there it is, I did it. Even after the hang up incident. I was so scared I'd go straight to that bar and throw it all out the window, but I kept trying to remember what you all say, and that it would pass.
I made a couple of business contacts too.
Finally, goodnight. Thank you for sharing all of your experiences so consistently, it really helped me get through today.
Ilya
BUT MEANWHILE in the RAGE files....
My husband hung up the phone on me earlier this evening because I was being "short." I cannot abide by the hang up. I got so angry, and could not calm down. I was by myself, and I had to drive. I had to be somewhere. I was worried about driving angry. But I drove. And I screamed at the top of my lungs.
It scared me how angry I got but I knew that I must open a valve so I screamed bloody murder for something like 10 minutes. I felt much better. My driving was fine by the way, I am notorious for being overly cautious. The neighboring drivers at red lights must have thought I was insane. I didn't know what else to do. I felt like I could sprint a mile or turn over a mail box!
My husband called me back and he was irritated but I demanded he tell me what he thought he was doing, and he explained that he had thought I said goodbye and he had had to get back to work, and I was being "short". I didn't even care anymore if he had hung up or not. I finally let it go.
Did I scare anyone? I was a bit scared and didn't know what to do with my feelings. Because now all of a sudden I am feeeeeeeling them. Oh great. So there's that. A nice new little anger problem.
In other news, I tested myself for the first time. Since the trip to visit the friend had been cancelled, I went to another friend's birthday party at a bowing alley. First time being around drinkers and booze. I stayed for an hour. I left because I really do have to work early tomorrow. But there it is, I did it. Even after the hang up incident. I was so scared I'd go straight to that bar and throw it all out the window, but I kept trying to remember what you all say, and that it would pass.
I made a couple of business contacts too.
Finally, goodnight. Thank you for sharing all of your experiences so consistently, it really helped me get through today.
Ilya
IIlya your strength at and after the bowling alley are an inspiration to us all !!!
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Ilya, reading many of the posts and in the meeting tonight made me realize how many people are dealing with anger. You're not alone. If screaming like a banshee made you fee better, that's great! You let it out. You didn't drink. I think that's amazing! I know you and your hubby were having issues. Have you guys considered going to counseling? Use it as a safe place to air things out and get some help on how to communicate with each other?
Great job on being able to hang with your friends! I think it's good you limited you time as not to tempt yourself but you were able to be social. Just keep the thought that we are all with you, cheering you on!
I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow!
Have a great night! /hugs
Great job on being able to hang with your friends! I think it's good you limited you time as not to tempt yourself but you were able to be social. Just keep the thought that we are all with you, cheering you on!
I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow!
Have a great night! /hugs
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: California
Posts: 206
Hi Aarrychka,
It sounds like you made it to a meeting. Did you like it? It's fine if you didn't, but the meetings gave me such a sense of community. I've been so hecka busy that I haven't been to one since Saturday. I've got another work related meeting tomorrow, but after that, I'm going to an AA meeting. I have had very good experiences there. I hope your experience was good too.
It sounds like you made it to a meeting. Did you like it? It's fine if you didn't, but the meetings gave me such a sense of community. I've been so hecka busy that I haven't been to one since Saturday. I've got another work related meeting tomorrow, but after that, I'm going to an AA meeting. I have had very good experiences there. I hope your experience was good too.
Phoenix Rising Again
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Chicagoland
Posts: 3,079
Sadly, no, I haven't made it to one.
I keep wrestling with it in my mind. I really need to stop reading the AA threads here. Honestly, I really just want to go so I get the heck out of my house. There's one tomorrow at 9. I wish there were more women only groups around here.
I keep wrestling with it in my mind. I really need to stop reading the AA threads here. Honestly, I really just want to go so I get the heck out of my house. There's one tomorrow at 9. I wish there were more women only groups around here.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
