Class of September 2013 - Part 25
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
Originally Posted by NewLeaf 
Love this. So true!
Diesel, This is a crude interpretation of something I once read - something bad didn't happen every time I drank, but every time something really bad happened I had been drinking.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
Originally Posted by EternalQ
BLKDiesel:
I'm not sure how you can say it was moderate drinking with no repercussions....
...Especially when you continually repeat in your post about "craving" alcohol already (the next day),
..... and you're ruminating about alcohol,
.... and imagining the alcohol,
.....and asking for help with the alcohol......
It sounds like your four beers actually did quite a number on your head and body...
as you're already making drinking the center of your thinking.
Just know, all that stuff you wrote, is ALL your Addiction's voice, and not you.
And don't let your addiction try and tell you otherwise.
I'm not sure how you can say it was moderate drinking with no repercussions....
...Especially when you continually repeat in your post about "craving" alcohol already (the next day),
..... and you're ruminating about alcohol,
.... and imagining the alcohol,
.....and asking for help with the alcohol......
It sounds like your four beers actually did quite a number on your head and body...
as you're already making drinking the center of your thinking.
Just know, all that stuff you wrote, is ALL your Addiction's voice, and not you.
And don't let your addiction try and tell you otherwise.
To be quite honest, I've always felt great once I haven't been drinking and a part of me deep down would love to be able to moderate and not envision life without alcohol at all....this is the quest I believe of any drinker...but I understand with my patterns before that abstinence is the best and more healthy commitment for me so my plan will be adjusted to get back to what I was doing prior (abstinence) and to let Sunday just be a bump in the road to not be revisited. To beat myself up and be guilt-ridden about it is not being progressive. But facing the reality that I can't moderate is being progressive.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Originally Posted by BLKDIESEL
\ my plan will be adjusted to get back to what I was doing prior (abstinence) and to let Sunday just be a bump in the road to not be revisited. To beat myself up and be guilt-ridden about it is not being progressive. But facing the reality that I can't moderate is being progressive.
That is the right attitude ! THere is no point in feeling guilt, shame or remorse. Its the past, learn from it, let it go and move on.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
Originally Posted by Dee74
Hey Diesel if you're interested I wrote this a few years back:
'At Least I didn't get drunk'
It seems I'm seeing people saying this more and more often here these days....
I've actually been waiting for a day when I haven't seen it here, so I can post this and not have people think I'm picking on them...
but everyday I see some one post saying 'hey I drank, but at least I didn't get drunk'
I understand to a certain extent because I used to do the same.
When I was trying to get a handle on my drinking, not getting drunk was an achievement, a victory - it was hope to me, somewhere deep in me, that hey maybe I could control my drinking whenever I wanted....at the very least it was proof I was 'getting better'...
If I really looked back at my history I'd have seen the times when I drank 'like a gentleman' were the rare exception, not the rule.
I had 100s, maybe 1000s, of times where I got wasted and embarrassed or hurt myself or others - but I'd always go back to those handful of times where I'd had a glass or two and 'nothing happened'.
I really wanted to be a normal drinker, so I guess it's not surprising I clung to those few nights....but I'd always return to my normal pattern of drinking.
Looking back now, the truth was I was a blackout alcoholic drinker who sometimes had a 'normal' drinking experience - it was blind luck, not good management.
Please don't fall for the same lies I did for all those years.
Alcohol and I have a disastrous relationship. My drinking caused me immense pain and suffering, and it damn near destroyed me and all I loved....
if I drink - even one or two glasses - it's anything but a triumph.
D
It seems I'm seeing people saying this more and more often here these days....
I've actually been waiting for a day when I haven't seen it here, so I can post this and not have people think I'm picking on them...
but everyday I see some one post saying 'hey I drank, but at least I didn't get drunk'
I understand to a certain extent because I used to do the same.
When I was trying to get a handle on my drinking, not getting drunk was an achievement, a victory - it was hope to me, somewhere deep in me, that hey maybe I could control my drinking whenever I wanted....at the very least it was proof I was 'getting better'...
If I really looked back at my history I'd have seen the times when I drank 'like a gentleman' were the rare exception, not the rule.
I had 100s, maybe 1000s, of times where I got wasted and embarrassed or hurt myself or others - but I'd always go back to those handful of times where I'd had a glass or two and 'nothing happened'.
I really wanted to be a normal drinker, so I guess it's not surprising I clung to those few nights....but I'd always return to my normal pattern of drinking.
Looking back now, the truth was I was a blackout alcoholic drinker who sometimes had a 'normal' drinking experience - it was blind luck, not good management.
Please don't fall for the same lies I did for all those years.
Alcohol and I have a disastrous relationship. My drinking caused me immense pain and suffering, and it damn near destroyed me and all I loved....
if I drink - even one or two glasses - it's anything but a triumph.
D
thanks
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 567
I know i can't moderate 18 months ago i had 4 months alcohol free a glass of wine made me think ha i can do this moderating is easy so wrong i very quickly got back into old habbits of drinking a bottle of wine 3 nights a week it took a year to even admit i needed to stop that's when i found Sr
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
I cannot moderate either. And, really, since when is 4 drinks truly moderate? Our standards for moderate drinking are skewed to be any sort of drinking that doesn't leave us hungover, or blacked out, or unhealthy, or whatever your particular limits are. True moderate drinking is 1 drink a day for a woman, and that does not mean saving all 7 for Saturday night. 2 for men. So, 4 drinks, 4 beers does venture close to a binge, in medical terms. I think I read that 5 drinks in one session is a binge, as a definition.
I know I think I have done well to limit myself to 2-3, when I am fooling myself. That is still more than moderate drinking. I cannot have 1 glass of wine. Not sure about anyone else. I think I have done enough research on that one to be sure...(for myself).
All that said, I still have a hard time letting go of the fantasy of drinking "normally."
**************************************
Off to a good start today. Up early, but was very tired, and my daughter overslept. I helped her get to school on time, and then have also exercised already, while son was waiting to go to school. He gets up early and reads and relaxes. That is his style. Of course, we often still have a panicked dash for the bus, because he gets so distracted. That was this am, because I did go off to exercise. But, I just cannot keep wasting that hour where I have been up with my daughter and waiting for him to go to school. He will just need to learn to be ready. We are working on more independance with that. Ugh. It is a challenge.
So, I feel good I exercised, but son and I had "words" before he went off to school. I get so frustrated with him. It is 18 degrees out, he had on shorts(because he was too distracted and lazy to change). So, then ensues the argument and scramble to change before the bus gets here. It happens frequently. Then he is so grumpy going off on the bus. Now I feel sad. He is so sensetive.
Anyway, so, I feel selfish, for actually doing something right for *me.* Of course I am not a bad mommy for exercising while my son has free time before school. But I feel frustrated about us having these morning struggles. I hate sending him off with a frown.
Looking like we may have a snow day tomorrow.
I know I think I have done well to limit myself to 2-3, when I am fooling myself. That is still more than moderate drinking. I cannot have 1 glass of wine. Not sure about anyone else. I think I have done enough research on that one to be sure...(for myself).
All that said, I still have a hard time letting go of the fantasy of drinking "normally."
**************************************
Off to a good start today. Up early, but was very tired, and my daughter overslept. I helped her get to school on time, and then have also exercised already, while son was waiting to go to school. He gets up early and reads and relaxes. That is his style. Of course, we often still have a panicked dash for the bus, because he gets so distracted. That was this am, because I did go off to exercise. But, I just cannot keep wasting that hour where I have been up with my daughter and waiting for him to go to school. He will just need to learn to be ready. We are working on more independance with that. Ugh. It is a challenge.
So, I feel good I exercised, but son and I had "words" before he went off to school. I get so frustrated with him. It is 18 degrees out, he had on shorts(because he was too distracted and lazy to change). So, then ensues the argument and scramble to change before the bus gets here. It happens frequently. Then he is so grumpy going off on the bus. Now I feel sad. He is so sensetive.
Anyway, so, I feel selfish, for actually doing something right for *me.* Of course I am not a bad mommy for exercising while my son has free time before school. But I feel frustrated about us having these morning struggles. I hate sending him off with a frown.
Looking like we may have a snow day tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 776
~~~Food for thought ~ Tuesday Edition~~~
~~~Today I Declare~~~
~~~Note: I want to thank everyone for their input concerning yesterday and my state of affairs...I must say that it is sometimes difficult to be vulnerable and admit ones slip ups and bad choices but not expressing them here would be unbeneficial to what we all are trying to accomplish. With that said, honesty is not always the easy road but the necessary road to work the process adequately. Thanks again to you all
.~~~
~~~Today I Declare~~~
Today, I declare I am strong and brave, not timid nor weak
Today I declare that my past will no longer limit my future and just because I couldn't achieve something yesterday doesn't mean I won't do it this day.
Today I declare that I'll honor my talents, express my gifts and reveal my creativity to everyone around me.
Today, I declare I'll be loyal to my values, respectful of my mission and fiercely focused on my dreams.
Today, I declare that I am a maker versus a consumer, a giver versus a taker and a visionary versus a victim.
Today, I declare that I will always be part of the solution and never part of the problem.
Today, I declare that when I fall, I will certainly rise and when I'm in doubt, I will persist.
Today, I declare that I will cherish my health, feed my mind and nourish my soul.
Today, I declare that I am surrounding myself with people who are smarter, faster, stronger and better than me so I am uplifted by their models and inspired by their examples.
Today, I declare that I set the standard in my work, am becoming the icon of my industry and a legend at my craft.
Today, I declare that I adore my family, am grateful for my friends and am an encourager to all those who are blessed to cross my path.
Today, I declare that this New Year is MY year. My time to grow, excel, laugh, love, win, believe, persevere and serve, knowing that I am truly the leader of my fate, the owner of my results and the hero of my destiny.
"What comes easy won't last...but what truly lasts won't come easy"
~~~Today I Declare~~~
~~~Note: I want to thank everyone for their input concerning yesterday and my state of affairs...I must say that it is sometimes difficult to be vulnerable and admit ones slip ups and bad choices but not expressing them here would be unbeneficial to what we all are trying to accomplish. With that said, honesty is not always the easy road but the necessary road to work the process adequately. Thanks again to you all
.~~~~~~Today I Declare~~~
Today, I declare I am strong and brave, not timid nor weak
Today I declare that my past will no longer limit my future and just because I couldn't achieve something yesterday doesn't mean I won't do it this day.
Today I declare that I'll honor my talents, express my gifts and reveal my creativity to everyone around me.
Today, I declare I'll be loyal to my values, respectful of my mission and fiercely focused on my dreams.
Today, I declare that I am a maker versus a consumer, a giver versus a taker and a visionary versus a victim.
Today, I declare that I will always be part of the solution and never part of the problem.
Today, I declare that when I fall, I will certainly rise and when I'm in doubt, I will persist.
Today, I declare that I will cherish my health, feed my mind and nourish my soul.
Today, I declare that I am surrounding myself with people who are smarter, faster, stronger and better than me so I am uplifted by their models and inspired by their examples.
Today, I declare that I set the standard in my work, am becoming the icon of my industry and a legend at my craft.
Today, I declare that I adore my family, am grateful for my friends and am an encourager to all those who are blessed to cross my path.
Today, I declare that this New Year is MY year. My time to grow, excel, laugh, love, win, believe, persevere and serve, knowing that I am truly the leader of my fate, the owner of my results and the hero of my destiny.
"What comes easy won't last...but what truly lasts won't come easy"
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Yeah, BLK, I am proud of you for getting on the board yesterday morning and letting us know what was going on. I imagine that when you did so you knew what we were going to say, and it is no fun setting yourself up for a verbal hand-smack. But you did exactly what you should have and the system of SR worked. And don't think we are looking down our noses at you; it could have been any one of us in your spot. You were wise to come to us with your situation and to keep reading.
Good job getting back on track, friend,
Good job getting back on track, friend,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Strailya
Posts: 8,023
Originally Posted by Renarde
I am in the ER getting fluids and meds. They gave me IV fentanyl so I am pretty out of it. I feel so much better already.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
Don't do it Fishy - it's like shooting yourself in the foot...one last time...
Hope you feel better soon Renarde
time for a new thread gang:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-26-a.html
Hope you feel better soon Renarde
time for a new thread gang:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-26-a.html
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
