lisatrying

Thank you for the lovely welcome dee, snoozyq resolute and leshar. At 6 and a half months my self esteem is so shakey I felt a huge sense of relief when you welcomed me. I really struggle to shake that core self belief that I am not good enough! Snoozyq I love scrabble - remember it was just a dream. Leshar there is so much pressure on women re our looks , how you feel is normal I think. I have used botox in the past, and prob will again when I have an income. Anything we can do to help us feel good about ourselves is ok in my opinion. I was very close to slipping at Christmas eve and also two weeks later. I don't think we should chastise ourselves if we do. Saying that that is part of why I haven't slipped. I know I would likely loose the hard gained self esteem I have tried to claw back, temporarily anyway. We would never be as hard on another human being as we are on ourselves, would we?
Leshar are you sure now is a good time to be stopping your anti depressant? You seem quite anxious- as I am also that's for sure. I think I will need to be in a lot more stable and strong position before I do that. Not meaning to give med advice of course.
Thankyou again my new friends

SnoozyQ

Hello everyone , a lot better today thanks to my wonderful friends here.

In answer to your question Dee . Haven't contemplated having a drink for months. I don't get cravings nor worry about being around people who drink.

This hit me out of the blue .

.ill be ok ...I'm staying in bed today and Shaun bought me the season 4 and 5 of breaking bad .

Loving it with the new big tv . ..no spoilers plz ;-)

Love you all my Julyers

thank you xxxx

NorCaliGal

Hi all -

Rainy Thursday morning here. Nice because we really need the rain. Not nice because I have to go to work instead of curling up with the cats, a blanket and a book! Also just heard on the news there's a huge accident on my normal route to work. Ugh. Will have to take my alternate route (the road I hit a deer on years ago).

Woke up with a huge stress headache. Stress at work and stress at home - BF's drinking increasing again this week and he was stumbling around last night. Had another argument about it. So over it, really. Have started to look online for other options when the lease is up in October. Have also started to not return his texts at the end of the day when he asks when I'll be home from work. It's not like he's trying to plan dinner or something - I think he's trying to plan how much drinking time he has before I get home. Well f*** him then. I know this is passive agressive of me....sigh. But I am so angry about this whole thing a little passive agressive ignoring of his texts beats letting him have it with both barrels (which even though we argue I haven't done. Yet.)

Leshar I am so so sorry you are having a rough time! I second what Dee has said, we are here for you! Big hugs...

Snoozy I often have very vivid dreams...sometimes they can be quite unsettling. Once I even threw a phone at my BF (not my current one) in my sleep! I've had one drinking dream since July and it was very real. I could taste the beer I was drinking I swear. Thankfully it was just a dream.

Crois hang in there. It's hard to be losing a loved one - hugs to you and your family.

Have a good sober day everyone!

NCG

resolute50

Hey Lisa,sounds like your sob date is close to mine.
On the 26th it will be 7 months for me.

We got a foot of snow yesterday. I took some pictures as the sun was rising this morning. Have to post them up later for my Aussie friends.
I'm thankful that getting through these little challenges of winter are easier staying sober. It's a great feeling knowing that whatever mother nature throws at me I'm prepared for it. Not like in the past when I would put off things till it needed to be fixed or done rather than already being prepared.

Hope everybody has a wonderful day/night.

Petecrab

Sorry to hear of your troubles lesher. Wish I knew how I could help. X

Petecrab

I have a works party tomorrow. First one I'm the 2 years I've worked there. Today people were talking about how to get too and from the party. I overheard everyone say 'Pete doesn't drink so we could ask him for a lift' actually made me feel proud hearing others say it!

House buying is certainly stressful but seems to be going pretty smoothly. It's a new build and should be finished by the end of feb so looks like il be moving into my first house early march, exciting!

All this whilst training for a upcoming half marathon! Being busy is good but my oh my does the time fly by

resolute50

That's great, Pete.
Being the designated driver.
I always thought that DD was very cool.
And sounds like the new Pete has a good reputation.

EternalQ

You can't wear us out! This is the time to turn to SR. That's what it is for!
I know through quite a few desperate episodes I clung to SR for dear life and it got me through each time. It's a pretty miraculous place.

resolute50

A picture of February in New England. About a foot of fresh snow from last night. Still hanging on the pine trees.
It was 12 degrees.
Hope this cools my Aussie friends.

Ladybug2

Hi all,

Nice pic, Bob! Looks like that here too. We are lucky we didn't lose power here.

Starting to feel more like myself again. Sobriety is so much better. I will never drink again.

Leshar, hope you are doing ok.

Just wanted to say Hi to you all and let you know I am doing better. Back on the road to long term sobriety.

SnoozyQ

Hiya guys , just a quick post to read some posts and check in ;-)

Love the picture thanks Bob ;-) it's beautiful xx
Yet another stinker of a day here and 42 Celsius again tomorrow and Sunday and I'm workinggggg ;/

This is the worst summer i have ever lived through . We are all totally sick of it !

Thanks for the glimpse of snow...sigh ;-)

NorCaliGal

Good Morning everyone -

Friday finally. So busy at work I need more work days in this week, sorry to say.

Way to go Pete on your rep as the responsible sober guy! And also buying a house - I've been too intimidated to buy a home, even though I should have looked into it several years ago. But I'm giving it serious thought these days...a small house or condo.

We're supposed to get more rain today and over the weekend. Good. we really need it.

Early morning meeting today at work so I'd better get going. May treat myself to a vanilla latte on the way in if I have time.

Take care everyone!

NCG

Ladybug2

Hi again all,

My daughter turns 4 on Sunday and I am really looking forward to enjoying her bd with her sober and hangover free!! Last year on her bd I stayed sober for her party, but I was counting down the hours/minutes until I could drink. So sad

Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend.

Leshar

Thanks, Pete, you are very kind. I'm happy for you that things are going so well!

Thanks, EQ, I don't know if I would have kept going without SR.

Thanks, Ladybug, I'm glad that you are feeling in a better place. I hope all goes well for your daughter's party.

I FTimed with my sister today. She was a bit tough loveish on me. Like, just make a change and DO something or you'll be saying the same thing a year from now. Like, you've gotten lazy and are just giving up(told her i wasn't taking care of myself, cleaning up house etc)
Sometimes I don't know if I do need this approach, if I'm just giving in to my depressed mood, I mean I know I'm not well, but it is tiresome for others that I just keep saying the same thing ad nauseam. (Like here, too.)

Skyped with my brother yesterday. Got overwhelmingly anxious and asked him to skype. He sort of rolled his eyes and said you'll get better, it's like you have a cold, it will go away.
I SO want to muster the strength to get out of this rut. I'm doing nothing but bingeing on sweet stuff and ice cream. I just can't seem to fill the void/empty feeling that I'm too old to even bother trying to forge out some sense of my life, find some meaning/joy.

I don't know how much is depression and how much is that I have sort of given up?
I have ZERO pride in myself. It's very self destructive, I know.

I had a drinking dream last night, but I definitely don't want to go there.

Today is first day completely off anti depressant i have been on for years.
I see my psychiatrist on Monday.

Nothing for it but to trudge along.
Thanks, everyone. I do hope to be able to post something more positive soon.
Just want to let you guys know that if I don't stay on SR, even though I'm miserable, I worry about getting even worse, so thanks for letting me put how I'm doing out there.

lisatrying

Good luck at the doctors Leshar.
Snoozyq I am watching season five of breaking bad right now- up to episode 7!
And Bob yes we do share the same day , that's pretty cool. In Australia in January it's a very big public holiday called Australia Day where most people drink a lot- irony.
I feel very lucky to have you all and everyone else on this thread and this entire forum as an extra layer of support in my arsenal of weapons to keep me strong.
Shame about getting to where I was was huge for me. I felt worthless and unworthy. Gaining an understanding through here that my suffering was in fact a fairly normal part of the human condition was and continues to be priceless.

Dee74

we continue here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...13-pt-9-a.html

D