Class of March 2013 Part 15
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,174
Well Peeps, haven't we been active! Shoes, I expect you to come back here with a good few humorous anecdotes, black humour gets people through a lot of tough times, if you don't laugh you cry, as you know well! The scary fact is that with lifespans extending more of us will be coping with dementia in all it's forms with close relatives or personally, so we do all need to start thinking of how we would cope, and what we would want done medically if it happens to us. As I say, scary!
Life, having read so many posts here from different folk, there is definitely a very high percentage of both care givers and those who suffered abuse as children. I feel that there is a type who find it difficult to share the load, and resort to drugs/drink to cope. Others who cannot share dark secrets need to release pressure. Obviously there are many reasons we drink, from boredom, peer pressure to low self esteem. I find it fascinating, as I love trying to understand the workings of the mind.
1day, your poor inner child must be in a perpetual huff at the moment, I'd better not do anything to upset her further! And I totally agree that caregivers frequently neglect their own health, again for different reasons. Some go through life wanting to be 'victims' so it suits them reinforce their self image of hard done carer. Others genuinely do not care enough about themselves. With me I know, I believed I was unlovable, so being needed was the next best thing. My early life was devoted to making myself indispensable, and with a giving nature, was drawn to the caring professions. Again, you have to love the psychology.
Talking of psychos, hey Natty!!! I love annoying my grandson when he wants to play act Star Wars, I insist on being Daft Vader I growl things at him like ' Luke I am your father... That's 14 Father's Day presents you owe me' and ' come over to the dark side... We have camping and midnight feasts' I know, but it's fun!!!! Seriously, you are a fantastic example of victory over adversity. Because of your innate grouchiness, few here know that you have been dealing with a world of cr4p for months, situations that would have driven you back to drink and drugs before. You have gritted your teeth and pushed on, knowing that the light at the end of the tunnel is probably the 9:05 from Glasgow. I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for your determination, and a whole lot of love for one of my closest friends.
Sass and Marcher, often you get lumped together, because for the most part you quietly get on with you sobriety, rarely asking for support, but always with a special word for those in need. You are the backbone of this thread.
Joygirl, there was a thread about why we chose our names, I don't know the history of your,but it suits you! I know you walked a dark path for a while, but I never felt that showed your true self. Your innate joy of life is infectious and wonderful, you obviously play with your inner child all the time!
Dee, man you know already what we all think of you, but we do worry when you are not well.
Babs, not sure if you will get to see this on your travels, but your quiet support is immeasurable
NMS, you had a steep hill to climb and then hit the ground running on your return, haven't seen you for a few days hope all is well.
Budd, I'd love to see you work on that boat, I bet you would do a great job!
And now I am fearful of having missed someone vitally important to the March group, so if I have, it is down to my slow brain rather than anything else and I beg humble forgiveness!
(Panache, I didn't include you, coz you don't visit too often, but if you are reading here, well you know hon)
So much for a quick hello!!!!!!!
Life, having read so many posts here from different folk, there is definitely a very high percentage of both care givers and those who suffered abuse as children. I feel that there is a type who find it difficult to share the load, and resort to drugs/drink to cope. Others who cannot share dark secrets need to release pressure. Obviously there are many reasons we drink, from boredom, peer pressure to low self esteem. I find it fascinating, as I love trying to understand the workings of the mind.
1day, your poor inner child must be in a perpetual huff at the moment, I'd better not do anything to upset her further! And I totally agree that caregivers frequently neglect their own health, again for different reasons. Some go through life wanting to be 'victims' so it suits them reinforce their self image of hard done carer. Others genuinely do not care enough about themselves. With me I know, I believed I was unlovable, so being needed was the next best thing. My early life was devoted to making myself indispensable, and with a giving nature, was drawn to the caring professions. Again, you have to love the psychology.
Talking of psychos, hey Natty!!! I love annoying my grandson when he wants to play act Star Wars, I insist on being Daft Vader I growl things at him like ' Luke I am your father... That's 14 Father's Day presents you owe me' and ' come over to the dark side... We have camping and midnight feasts' I know, but it's fun!!!! Seriously, you are a fantastic example of victory over adversity. Because of your innate grouchiness, few here know that you have been dealing with a world of cr4p for months, situations that would have driven you back to drink and drugs before. You have gritted your teeth and pushed on, knowing that the light at the end of the tunnel is probably the 9:05 from Glasgow. I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for your determination, and a whole lot of love for one of my closest friends.
Sass and Marcher, often you get lumped together, because for the most part you quietly get on with you sobriety, rarely asking for support, but always with a special word for those in need. You are the backbone of this thread.
Joygirl, there was a thread about why we chose our names, I don't know the history of your,but it suits you! I know you walked a dark path for a while, but I never felt that showed your true self. Your innate joy of life is infectious and wonderful, you obviously play with your inner child all the time!
Dee, man you know already what we all think of you, but we do worry when you are not well.
Babs, not sure if you will get to see this on your travels, but your quiet support is immeasurable
NMS, you had a steep hill to climb and then hit the ground running on your return, haven't seen you for a few days hope all is well.
Budd, I'd love to see you work on that boat, I bet you would do a great job!
And now I am fearful of having missed someone vitally important to the March group, so if I have, it is down to my slow brain rather than anything else and I beg humble forgiveness!
(Panache, I didn't include you, coz you don't visit too often, but if you are reading here, well you know hon)
So much for a quick hello!!!!!!!
New and learning
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 85
Aaaaahhh, the wisdom from you all on these boards! Wow! Toots- you seem to peg us all perfectly.
Yes, been busy just with life stuff....nothing earth-shattering. I'm glad it is Friday, and cooler weather today! I just heard of a condition called "heat rage" with all the high temps across the US. Yep, I get grumpy with the heat! Ha! I need to do some cleaning, and it's better in cooler weather, or at least not hot weather. Amazing how fast the dust, dog hair and gunk accumulates and multiplies!
I love reading the funny back and forth between Marchers! (especially Natty, and he has a soft side!) and the day to day stuff they are going through! Keep at it!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
NMS
Yes, been busy just with life stuff....nothing earth-shattering. I'm glad it is Friday, and cooler weather today! I just heard of a condition called "heat rage" with all the high temps across the US. Yep, I get grumpy with the heat! Ha! I need to do some cleaning, and it's better in cooler weather, or at least not hot weather. Amazing how fast the dust, dog hair and gunk accumulates and multiplies!
I love reading the funny back and forth between Marchers! (especially Natty, and he has a soft side!) and the day to day stuff they are going through! Keep at it!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
NMS
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Rogersville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,659
Hi everyone,
Hope you are all doing great, been a little busy this week doing some work on the boat joy bought me. Definitely needed to get more sandpaper, and with a few other things I had lying around I was able to do this.thCA2O20R7.jpg
Joy, again thanks and congrats on 4 months!
Natty, congrats on 6 months and can I borrow your cleaning ladies for the boat?
Shoes, hang in there, you are amazing.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Stay Strong
Ken
Hope you are all doing great, been a little busy this week doing some work on the boat joy bought me. Definitely needed to get more sandpaper, and with a few other things I had lying around I was able to do this.thCA2O20R7.jpg
Joy, again thanks and congrats on 4 months!
Natty, congrats on 6 months and can I borrow your cleaning ladies for the boat?
Shoes, hang in there, you are amazing.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Stay Strong
Ken
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,174
Hey Budd, no need to get Nattys cleaners, I'm already on my way, and will even bring my own broom!
It's amazing what you can do with some sandpaper, and a bit of left over gloss!!
It's amazing what you can do with some sandpaper, and a bit of left over gloss!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Rogersville, Tennessee
Posts: 2,659
Toots, no need to bring your broom, that's why I need Natty's cleaning ladies, we are all going on a voyage on the S/V SR Marcher.
I'll post pics and descriptions of our first leg in the Café over the weekend.
I'll post pics and descriptions of our first leg in the Café over the weekend.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good morning everyone! I hope you are all well and not hearing too much from AV. Toots I am delighted to hear that Sassy and I are lumped together, Sass is such a sweetheart. 
We've had five days of record temperatures, well record for July, it's been in the low 20s which has Marcher dancing in the winter sunshine. Tomorrow the maximum is going to be only 14C and even the radio announcers are talking about the "coldwave" that's coming. Maybe North has some advice for me on surviving those temperatures?
And I hear you northern hemisphere-ites are going through some awful bad heat...stay well hydrated my friends and don't forget to slip, slop, slap. Dee and Life will know what that means, for the rest of you:
Slip on a shirt, slop on sunscreen and slap on a hat
We've had five days of record temperatures, well record for July, it's been in the low 20s which has Marcher dancing in the winter sunshine. Tomorrow the maximum is going to be only 14C and even the radio announcers are talking about the "coldwave" that's coming. Maybe North has some advice for me on surviving those temperatures?
And I hear you northern hemisphere-ites are going through some awful bad heat...stay well hydrated my friends and don't forget to slip, slop, slap. Dee and Life will know what that means, for the rest of you:
Slip on a shirt, slop on sunscreen and slap on a hat
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,288
Why thank you, Marcher! I feel honored that we are "lumped together"!
I will try to read but will be unlikely to post this weekend since I have very dear relatives this weekend and they won't be leaving until Monday.
So, all of you behave while the cat is away!
I will try to read but will be unlikely to post this weekend since I have very dear relatives this weekend and they won't be leaving until Monday.
So, all of you behave while the cat is away!
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Oh, Ken I had complete faith in your woodworking, yacht building skills. I'm packed and ready to board. I'm still in vacation mode anyway! Had I anticipated your need, I would have included the girls who hauled the boat off the trailer, to tidy up for you. Here, I hope it's not too late...
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,174
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I never go outside without a shirt or hat - gotta work on the sunscreen tho
have a good weekend everyone
D
have a good weekend everyone
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,420
Checking in
I have been so busy... it took me awhile to catch up on reading, both here and in the cafe... I am enjoying the cruise very much!
I don't have much to contribute at this time, however, I did have an illuminating moment at work last week, so now my inner child is happy.
Toots, for what it is worth here is some information on 1 reason people choose to go into the field of mental health from a professor I had, who just happens to also be in recovery: a study was done among those in the mental health and addiction counseling fields, and it turns out a lot of counselors were put into a position as children, of being the emotional support to one of their parents.
The parent confided in that child, and the reason is not given, but these children grow up to be emotional caretakers in their professional lives.
Without getting into too much detail, that had resonated with me on a deep level. I was the oldest of four sisters, and you bet I was my mom's confidente. My dad was at work, etc., and my mom married young. And of course, I was an empathic, intelligent, wise (did I mention modest, lol) child.
I had other jobs/careers earlier in my life, but eventually went to school, again, and found myself in the field of behavioral health.
I don't have much to contribute at this time, however, I did have an illuminating moment at work last week, so now my inner child is happy.
Toots, for what it is worth here is some information on 1 reason people choose to go into the field of mental health from a professor I had, who just happens to also be in recovery: a study was done among those in the mental health and addiction counseling fields, and it turns out a lot of counselors were put into a position as children, of being the emotional support to one of their parents.
The parent confided in that child, and the reason is not given, but these children grow up to be emotional caretakers in their professional lives.
Without getting into too much detail, that had resonated with me on a deep level. I was the oldest of four sisters, and you bet I was my mom's confidente. My dad was at work, etc., and my mom married young. And of course, I was an empathic, intelligent, wise (did I mention modest, lol) child.
I had other jobs/careers earlier in my life, but eventually went to school, again, and found myself in the field of behavioral health.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,174
1day, that is really interesting, I have never heard of that, but it makes a lot of sense. I guess if you grow up being emotionally supportive of an adult, you would find giving emotional support a normal thing to do. From the earliest age, I was the plain girl, and the boys often talked to me about the pretty girls, and the pretty girls could talk to me as I was non threatening in the looks department. So I was acting therapist from a very early age! Much the same I guess? Sound like your mum thought of you more like a younger sister once you had reached an age where she could share. I was the baby in my family, and although I loved my mum to bits, we only had a sharing relationship after I had left home.
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Oh, that is so interesting! My mom went back to college when I was in 2nd grade (7 yrs. old) to be a psychologist. I used to help her study and go to the school library with her. She even paid me 10 cents per page to read to her in the car on trips! That was fun for me, until she got into practice and I was in high school and she analyzed EVERYTHING I did and said. She wouldn't argue with me, she would tell me to "ventilate my hostility" as she just smiled at me. I wanted to hit her sometimes, if you can imagine. Then she and my dad went through an ugly divorce and she became really selfish and self centered, not paying any attention to me at all. I love her, but that was rough! We are close in some ways, distant in other ways. C'est la vie!
So, maybe that's why I'm a teacher? That's teaching, counseling, mentoring, nursing, and mothering all in one, and that's just for the parents!
So, maybe that's why I'm a teacher? That's teaching, counseling, mentoring, nursing, and mothering all in one, and that's just for the parents!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Hmmmm. Very interesting.
I was always seen as the strong one in the family. My Mom suffered from depression and anxiety but back then the only help she got was a running subscription of Valium. My Dad worked construction and was out of town a lot working jobs. I had to get my brother ready for school and make him breakfast most days when my mom was too sad to get out of bed. She did the best she could and did a mighty fine job considering no one helped her. I feel bad she had to suffer back then. Years later when I was gone she finally got help. I sometimes wonder if that had something to do with her Alzheimer's.
I by nature lean on the introvert side but I like people and can be very outgoing if I need to be. I much prefer small groups and one on one coversations. I really enjoy those.
I have a hard time letting people help me. I have to watch that.
I didn't emotionally support a parent but had to do a lot of grown up things when I was little. I never thought of being a mental health professional but I'm sure glad a lot of you did. I was the one that needed the help.
Very interesting 1day. I like thinking about stuff like this. Thanks!
I was always seen as the strong one in the family. My Mom suffered from depression and anxiety but back then the only help she got was a running subscription of Valium. My Dad worked construction and was out of town a lot working jobs. I had to get my brother ready for school and make him breakfast most days when my mom was too sad to get out of bed. She did the best she could and did a mighty fine job considering no one helped her. I feel bad she had to suffer back then. Years later when I was gone she finally got help. I sometimes wonder if that had something to do with her Alzheimer's.
I by nature lean on the introvert side but I like people and can be very outgoing if I need to be. I much prefer small groups and one on one coversations. I really enjoy those.
I have a hard time letting people help me. I have to watch that.
I didn't emotionally support a parent but had to do a lot of grown up things when I was little. I never thought of being a mental health professional but I'm sure glad a lot of you did. I was the one that needed the help.
Very interesting 1day. I like thinking about stuff like this. Thanks!
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Good morning Marcher! (I know it's not morning THERE, but that's my daily greeting for you)
1day has led us into a discussion where we've been analyzing our emotional baggage, would you like to join in? Come into the circle and put your thinking cap on!
Are you baking today, perchance? Methinks I smell yeast and cinnamon?
1day has led us into a discussion where we've been analyzing our emotional baggage, would you like to join in? Come into the circle and put your thinking cap on!
Are you baking today, perchance? Methinks I smell yeast and cinnamon?
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