Class of March 2013 Part 14
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Good day everyone!
Meso, I'm glad you got some help. And I'll certainly be praying and sending good vibes your way for the job!
Sassy, I'm glad you were on top of things at the reunion!
Toots, we'll need a pic of your deck as proof, and you covered in deck stain!
I really think I am starting to turn the corner, slowly, on my emotions. Melancholy being replaced with motivation and happiness and contentment. A little better every few days. Geez, how messed up I must have been! Thinking back on March and April is like remembering a nightmare. It actually makes me feel sick.
I know without you guys, I would not have made it to today.
Love and hugs!
Meso, I'm glad you got some help. And I'll certainly be praying and sending good vibes your way for the job!
Sassy, I'm glad you were on top of things at the reunion!
Toots, we'll need a pic of your deck as proof, and you covered in deck stain!
I really think I am starting to turn the corner, slowly, on my emotions. Melancholy being replaced with motivation and happiness and contentment. A little better every few days. Geez, how messed up I must have been! Thinking back on March and April is like remembering a nightmare. It actually makes me feel sick.
I know without you guys, I would not have made it to today.
Love and hugs!
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Meso, I meant to relay a story to you: We needed a sum of money a few weeks ago for an unexpected expense. We have been strapped lately and as I'm a teacher, I can't start working until end of summer. So, we worried and prayed and lo and behold, a check came in the mail that we were not expecting from the sale of our house last summer! (Insurance reimbursement- a pretty good sum of $1900!) So, you never know what will come, but have faith in prayer or karma or Buddha, and yourself, whatever you believe, believe it will happen. You will be okay!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Joy, Maybe that wave of sadness about this time in not drinking is just our way of mourning how badly we treated ourselves. If I treated and talked to a friend the way I did to myself I certainly would have been depressed. I owed myself an apology and needed to give myself a hug and say I forgive me. Me did and said it was about time. Now me is just happy to have me back...flaws and all.
Oh no, I'm talking to myself in the third person. I hope this isn't a multiple personality disorder manifesting. I don't need another issue to deal with. And if it is I hope she at least is nicer and doesn't drink.
Oh no, I'm talking to myself in the third person. I hope this isn't a multiple personality disorder manifesting. I don't need another issue to deal with. And if it is I hope she at least is nicer and doesn't drink.
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Good morning, shoes! Oh, I sure did treat myself badly. It's clear now just how badly, like I was my worst enemy. Me has hugged and apologised to myself. I need a little more time to forgive me, but I know I will. Me is nicer, and doesn't use drugs! I like me!
Oh no, I'm doing it too!
Oh no, I'm doing it too!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,184
I'm feeling a lot of love here, guys!
Joygirl, I finally showered off the last of the stain! I think! I'm so covered in moles it's difficult to be sure. I still have the base to do, but I am pleased with the job I have managed to do so far! Back to work tomorrow, got my grandson Thursday night and then Friday off to see my daughter pass out and officially become a police officer. She received an award for her commitment to her high standards, so we are so proud of her. A wee celebration back here with champagne, but I will have my fizzy water on ice! So busy few days ahead, I may not get to post much but will read when I can
Congrats on the potential job and on having your faith in humanity restored! But much much more, congratulations on not allowing your circumstances lead you to drink! A huge stride forward in your recovery, and as hugs seem to be the order of the day, give yourself a big hug from me!
Joygirl, I finally showered off the last of the stain! I think! I'm so covered in moles it's difficult to be sure. I still have the base to do, but I am pleased with the job I have managed to do so far! Back to work tomorrow, got my grandson Thursday night and then Friday off to see my daughter pass out and officially become a police officer. She received an award for her commitment to her high standards, so we are so proud of her. A wee celebration back here with champagne, but I will have my fizzy water on ice! So busy few days ahead, I may not get to post much but will read when I can
Congrats on the potential job and on having your faith in humanity restored! But much much more, congratulations on not allowing your circumstances lead you to drink! A huge stride forward in your recovery, and as hugs seem to be the order of the day, give yourself a big hug from me!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
It's shocking how comforting cyber hugs can be! So Meso - big hug from me too! I think we're all proud of you maintaining your sobriety through a really tough time.
Sassy - so happy you made it through your reunion and knew when to back off. I'm still learning my limitations.
Joy, great news that your mood is shifting. This is a process and sounds to me like you're working your way right through it - wonderful!
Working hard on the move but get a break tomorrow when we take the boys to Disney for the day with grandma.
Sassy - so happy you made it through your reunion and knew when to back off. I'm still learning my limitations.
Joy, great news that your mood is shifting. This is a process and sounds to me like you're working your way right through it - wonderful!
Working hard on the move but get a break tomorrow when we take the boys to Disney for the day with grandma.
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Oh, Duffster! I am so jealous that you are going to the Cathedral of St. Mickey! We really miss it now that we are away from it. Which park is your favorite? I love Epcot. Love it. international food, and Soarin'.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
Epcot is fun! Like mini vacations around the world. Tomorrow we're going to the Magic Kingdom and won't have time to visit Epcot but I really like Universal the best when I'm in the mood for some serious rides
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Universal does have good rides. And good restaurants. And my 15 yr old son is going there tomorrow! He's down there visiting friends for 2 weeks, one of whom works at Ben and Jerry's there. Maybe when he comes home he won't be so angry. Wishful thinking!
Have fun at MK! And good news- no alcohol served there to tempt you!
Have fun at MK! And good news- no alcohol served there to tempt you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Good morning peeps. MeSo I am so delighted to hear about the lady writing the cheque to help you out not because of the money but because that shows her faith in you.
Have a good one peeps. This morning when I woke up I was in a bit of a bad mood like the old days, though in the old days I had a physical reason to feel bad. Today I had no reason to be in a bad mood so I told myself to buck up -- it worked!
Have a good one peeps. This morning when I woke up I was in a bit of a bad mood like the old days, though in the old days I had a physical reason to feel bad. Today I had no reason to be in a bad mood so I told myself to buck up -- it worked!
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Good morning Marcher! Sorry that you woke up in a bad mood. Some days start like that, and it seems you've got a handle on it. Amazing what a little positive self-talk can do for us! Here's your hug- we've been passing them out all day! 
Marcher
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,235
Hey, shoes, and Marchers,
I've been thinking since I read your post earlier about being introspective. It made me introspective, which is good. And then I can't help but be quite mad at myself for throwing away 8 years that should have been fantastic. I was young. I was an interesting person. I was fun. I was accomplished in many areas of my life. I was friendly and outgoing, busy with a full life. What went wrong?
Then I thought some more. I think I was exhausted and stressed. I put so much pressure on myself to be just right, as close to perfection as possible. A woman who could do it all, and look great doing it, with a big smile and no complaints. Had to keep it up!
When I got into my accident, I was given pain meds and orders to rest. What a prescription! And with that, I checked out.
I should have just gone to a spa! Or something else, I don't know. But I didn't, no, I took a long, sad break from life. And I really missed out on a lot of living.
I know I can't get it back, and I have to leave regrets behind. I am just now realizing the losses and regrets. I guess I have a more delayed reaction.
I'm going to recognize them, then put them out to pasture. I'm a little surprised to be thinking about all of this now, but I had to at some point. Maybe now I'm just getting emotionally ready to handle it.
Then I thought some more. I can't let this happen again! I have to be more gentle with myself. I have to give myself a break. I have to learn to say "no" to demands and pressures that try to work themselves into my life. I have to strive for happiness and joy instead of perfection. Oh my gosh, I have to live ONE DAY AT A TIME! It's not just a cliche! It has real application in my life.
I'm going to remain clean and sober, because I am worthy.
Everything I have been reading from everyone at SR has brought me to these conclusions. I could not have gained these insights from myself. Oh, I know there is still so much more to learn. I look forward to it!
Thanks everybody, especially my manic Marcher friends!
Joy
I've been thinking since I read your post earlier about being introspective. It made me introspective, which is good. And then I can't help but be quite mad at myself for throwing away 8 years that should have been fantastic. I was young. I was an interesting person. I was fun. I was accomplished in many areas of my life. I was friendly and outgoing, busy with a full life. What went wrong?
Then I thought some more. I think I was exhausted and stressed. I put so much pressure on myself to be just right, as close to perfection as possible. A woman who could do it all, and look great doing it, with a big smile and no complaints. Had to keep it up!
When I got into my accident, I was given pain meds and orders to rest. What a prescription! And with that, I checked out.
I should have just gone to a spa! Or something else, I don't know. But I didn't, no, I took a long, sad break from life. And I really missed out on a lot of living.
I know I can't get it back, and I have to leave regrets behind. I am just now realizing the losses and regrets. I guess I have a more delayed reaction.
I'm going to recognize them, then put them out to pasture. I'm a little surprised to be thinking about all of this now, but I had to at some point. Maybe now I'm just getting emotionally ready to handle it.
Then I thought some more. I can't let this happen again! I have to be more gentle with myself. I have to give myself a break. I have to learn to say "no" to demands and pressures that try to work themselves into my life. I have to strive for happiness and joy instead of perfection. Oh my gosh, I have to live ONE DAY AT A TIME! It's not just a cliche! It has real application in my life.
I'm going to remain clean and sober, because I am worthy.
Everything I have been reading from everyone at SR has brought me to these conclusions. I could not have gained these insights from myself. Oh, I know there is still so much more to learn. I look forward to it!
Thanks everybody, especially my manic Marcher friends!
Joy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Joy you have thought this out well and thoroughly, good for you.
I was brooding a bit before I went to sleep last night which is probably why I woke up cranky. I was thinking about how, prior to sobriety, I knew I was on a stupid downward curve and I didn't shake myself and do something about it. I know regrets and thinking that way achieve nothing but it's something I had to go over. I'm one of the lucky ones in that nothing really bad happened, my health was taking a dive, my performance at work was slipping badly, I was taking off more days than I should have and I was living with hangovers but that's all pretty lightweight in comparison to what a lot of people go through.
Gratitude has been very good and very revealing for me. I've always been a bit dismissive of formal gratitude as in journal keeping but being grateful reminds me just how good I've got it and that sobriety is worth striving for.
At the moment AV is playing the game with me that I could control my drinking, I could have one or two occasionally which is utter ermmmm ... balderdash. I never had one or two and that's not going to start now. I may have the optimist's view about whether the glass is half full or half empty, but I have the alcoholic's view of the bottle -- better for it to be empty and me to be full. Nah, not going there.
For me keeping myself firmly on the road, working hard at home and at work, occasional pleasures, good nutritious food and plenty of sleep seems to be working.
Night peeps.
I was brooding a bit before I went to sleep last night which is probably why I woke up cranky. I was thinking about how, prior to sobriety, I knew I was on a stupid downward curve and I didn't shake myself and do something about it. I know regrets and thinking that way achieve nothing but it's something I had to go over. I'm one of the lucky ones in that nothing really bad happened, my health was taking a dive, my performance at work was slipping badly, I was taking off more days than I should have and I was living with hangovers but that's all pretty lightweight in comparison to what a lot of people go through.
Gratitude has been very good and very revealing for me. I've always been a bit dismissive of formal gratitude as in journal keeping but being grateful reminds me just how good I've got it and that sobriety is worth striving for.
At the moment AV is playing the game with me that I could control my drinking, I could have one or two occasionally which is utter ermmmm ... balderdash. I never had one or two and that's not going to start now. I may have the optimist's view about whether the glass is half full or half empty, but I have the alcoholic's view of the bottle -- better for it to be empty and me to be full. Nah, not going there.
For me keeping myself firmly on the road, working hard at home and at work, occasional pleasures, good nutritious food and plenty of sleep seems to be working.
Night peeps.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,290
Joy, you've come a long way, baby! And Marcher, you, too! It takes time away from our addictions to gain perspective.
Joy, I try not to look at anything in life as "lost" or "wasted" time. Each thing I experience teaches me something and I ultimately gain from it. Some lessons are particularly painful but we also need to remember that we are human, we're not perfect and never will be. I try to take each day as it comes. When there are things in my life that I'm not happy about (like addiction!), I work on them until I find a solution. It took me almost a year to finally quit this time ... But the lesson for me is that it is truly worth not giving up. I finally got past the awful feelings of being a failure and that helped me to reach my goal. I'm close to 70 years and it's still worth it to work on myself.
Hugs,
Sass
Joy, I try not to look at anything in life as "lost" or "wasted" time. Each thing I experience teaches me something and I ultimately gain from it. Some lessons are particularly painful but we also need to remember that we are human, we're not perfect and never will be. I try to take each day as it comes. When there are things in my life that I'm not happy about (like addiction!), I work on them until I find a solution. It took me almost a year to finally quit this time ... But the lesson for me is that it is truly worth not giving up. I finally got past the awful feelings of being a failure and that helped me to reach my goal. I'm close to 70 years and it's still worth it to work on myself.
Hugs,
Sass
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