Class of April 2013
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Olde England
Posts: 528
Sorry to hear your news Janie
I spent the day fighting London traffic and running around on the tube to meetings, home and knackered, trying to work up the motivation to tackle the emails that have no doubt piled up during the day...
Got a 05:30 start tomorrow and a long drive to one of our Northern offices so back late tomorrow night, working from home Thursday and looking to take Mrs N out to see a film must make sure I book that tonight and offer to drive so no wriggling out of it to drink. That should see me through to Day 10 close :0)
Going to get the kids from Dads first thing Sat so next big challenge will be Saturday night, have seen Soberthon's organised on here - who's up for choosing a film to watch on Sat?
I'll make the tea!
:0)
I spent the day fighting London traffic and running around on the tube to meetings, home and knackered, trying to work up the motivation to tackle the emails that have no doubt piled up during the day...
Got a 05:30 start tomorrow and a long drive to one of our Northern offices so back late tomorrow night, working from home Thursday and looking to take Mrs N out to see a film must make sure I book that tonight and offer to drive so no wriggling out of it to drink. That should see me through to Day 10 close :0)
Going to get the kids from Dads first thing Sat so next big challenge will be Saturday night, have seen Soberthon's organised on here - who's up for choosing a film to watch on Sat?
I'll make the tea!
:0)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi everyone. So sorry for your loss, Janie. I can't even begin to imagine, so sad.
Had a busy Day 3. It has been a gorgeous, summer-like day here in the Northeast. Dropped my little one off at pre- pre- school and then went to the gym for a long, much needed workout. My mom had the day off work so she joined me and then we treated ourselves to a pedicure. She kept asking me why I was so moody? Really frustrating because I don't know why. I know it is "normal" for our emotions to be up and down in the early days of sobriety, but it is getting really annoying. I'm tired of snapping at everyone and being cranky. I sometimes think I am better if I am drinking.... I know, I know, stupid thinking, just have to ride this out. We had lunch at a diner because it would have been too tempting for me to sit at an outdoor cafe watching everyone drink wine in the sun. My mom and I were best wine buddies so it was especially hard, but she has been supportive.
Back home now and need to figure out dinner. Not in the mood to cook, though. Anyone else feeling unmotivated, but happy to be sober today??
Had a busy Day 3. It has been a gorgeous, summer-like day here in the Northeast. Dropped my little one off at pre- pre- school and then went to the gym for a long, much needed workout. My mom had the day off work so she joined me and then we treated ourselves to a pedicure. She kept asking me why I was so moody? Really frustrating because I don't know why. I know it is "normal" for our emotions to be up and down in the early days of sobriety, but it is getting really annoying. I'm tired of snapping at everyone and being cranky. I sometimes think I am better if I am drinking.... I know, I know, stupid thinking, just have to ride this out. We had lunch at a diner because it would have been too tempting for me to sit at an outdoor cafe watching everyone drink wine in the sun. My mom and I were best wine buddies so it was especially hard, but she has been supportive.
Back home now and need to figure out dinner. Not in the mood to cook, though. Anyone else feeling unmotivated, but happy to be sober today??
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Missouri
Posts: 28
i have the desire to quit
Hi, I would like to join the Class of April 2013. I'd like to share a little bit of my story. I'm new here but certainly not new to addiction; I've been an addict as long as I can remember. I started abusing street drugs in my early teens, as well as drinking uncontrollably. By the time I was 19 I was addicted to opiates and amphetamines and was drinking every day. I got married to and divorced a man who was little more than a drinking buddy to me during this time.
In my twenties I got married again and my second husband had little tolerance for my drug abuse. So I quit the hard drugs and drinking and moved on to prescription pain pills and prescription amphetamines, which were easier for me to conceal from my husband. However, in time that relationship soured as well and my husband asked me to leave, as my addiction caused problems in all facets of my life.
After we divorced I found myself in my mid-twenties, unemployed, addicted to drugs, and living in my parents' basement. I went to treatment once, but relapsed less than two months after I got out of rehab. I spent some time in a psych ward because the pills were making me crazy. I have gone on this way, aimless and seemingly hopeless, for many years. Last year I met an absolutely wonderful man and we are together now. At the moment it's a long-distance relationship, but we are getting a place and I am moving out to live with him. He has 9 months clean & sober and knows about my past using, but he does not know I'm currently using. I love him more than anything and for the first time I have the desire to quit. I just want to have a happy and healthy life.
That said, I don't know how to quit or stay quit. My addiction is raging these days. I've got a habit of at least 40 to 50 pain pills a day. I had a grand mal seizure last Sunday as a result of taking so many pills at once. It's the fifth one I've had. I was prescribed anti-seizure medicine, and I started taking more of that than prescribed so I could continue taking more pain pills. It's gotten to the point where some nights when I go to sleep I don't know if I am gonna wake up. I'm terrified of the sickness that's gonna come when I quit, but I don't possess the willpower or self-control to do a tapered reduction.
I would love to be free of this. I'm so tired of carrying my addiction and secrets with me wherever I go. I just want this to be over. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get through the withdrawal phase? Sorry for writing such a lengthy post!
--j
In my twenties I got married again and my second husband had little tolerance for my drug abuse. So I quit the hard drugs and drinking and moved on to prescription pain pills and prescription amphetamines, which were easier for me to conceal from my husband. However, in time that relationship soured as well and my husband asked me to leave, as my addiction caused problems in all facets of my life.
After we divorced I found myself in my mid-twenties, unemployed, addicted to drugs, and living in my parents' basement. I went to treatment once, but relapsed less than two months after I got out of rehab. I spent some time in a psych ward because the pills were making me crazy. I have gone on this way, aimless and seemingly hopeless, for many years. Last year I met an absolutely wonderful man and we are together now. At the moment it's a long-distance relationship, but we are getting a place and I am moving out to live with him. He has 9 months clean & sober and knows about my past using, but he does not know I'm currently using. I love him more than anything and for the first time I have the desire to quit. I just want to have a happy and healthy life.
That said, I don't know how to quit or stay quit. My addiction is raging these days. I've got a habit of at least 40 to 50 pain pills a day. I had a grand mal seizure last Sunday as a result of taking so many pills at once. It's the fifth one I've had. I was prescribed anti-seizure medicine, and I started taking more of that than prescribed so I could continue taking more pain pills. It's gotten to the point where some nights when I go to sleep I don't know if I am gonna wake up. I'm terrified of the sickness that's gonna come when I quit, but I don't possess the willpower or self-control to do a tapered reduction.
I would love to be free of this. I'm so tired of carrying my addiction and secrets with me wherever I go. I just want this to be over. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get through the withdrawal phase? Sorry for writing such a lengthy post!
--j
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: SF, CA
Posts: 65
Originally Posted by Ladybug2 
Not in the mood to cook, though. Anyone else feeling unmotivated, but happy to be sober today??
I just got through with THE most mundane task of verifying printed payroll reports vs excel sheets!!
But, because I was curious about using pivot tables, I came up with a much faster way of doing it and had a spark of accomplishment. (It only took four hours as opposed to two days from forever)
Going to the gym on day 3 is a major accomplishment IMO! That is way beyond my level of physical motivation right now.
Maybe when you're a little more motivated, you can make cooking somewhat fun by trying out new things? Not sure how adventurous in the kitchen you are, but I find that tasting sauces, stir frys, etc., seeing what something "needs" or how to develop the flavor better is pretty engaging.
Food is awesome because you use your senses, let go of your ruminations, focus on working towards a goal, and then get nearly instant gratification when actually get to eat the fruits of your labors!
Anyhow, hope you have a nice evening and incrementally better days to come, as little by little your body continues to adjust towards balanced.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: London UK
Posts: 25
Sorry to hear of your loss janiebluebird - puts some of my issues in perspective.
Welcome all newcomers; glad you've decided to join the April-fun-bus - we're all travelling to SoberVille, no stops till we've reached our destination - hang on tight 'cos it can be a bumpy ride!!
Bobby
Welcome all newcomers; glad you've decided to join the April-fun-bus - we're all travelling to SoberVille, no stops till we've reached our destination - hang on tight 'cos it can be a bumpy ride!!
Bobby
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 34
Hi Joy,
It sounds amazing to have met such a wonderful person and the motivation to be clean. By the sounds of it your health could be in serious jeopardy. Have you sought out medical advice for a safe detox?
Carter
It sounds amazing to have met such a wonderful person and the motivation to be clean. By the sounds of it your health could be in serious jeopardy. Have you sought out medical advice for a safe detox?
Carter
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Missouri
Posts: 28
lostnconfused2 -- Hi I got your PM. Thank you I appreciate it. I'm not allowed to send PM's until I have five posts so I thought I'd just reply here til I get five posts. It sounds like we have a lot in common!
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