Class of May 2012 part 19
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 328
Dear May 2012 boater friends,
I love you all. It's ok if I disappear for a while and come back, isn't it? I vaguely recall one of my first posts in SR dealt with the want to be fully present in my kiddo's lives. I've done that. I'm doing that. My thanks to all of you for helping me get there.
Some reflections, some knowledge gained, maybe earned along the way:
The world according to Crewisms (read, the world as I know it and things I've learned along the way.)
Humility. The art of f..king up and readily admitting so when you do.
Love. The unconditional hug, whether with a friend or someone you’ve never met.
Friendship. Years gone by without skipping the beat, yet never, ever taking it for granted.
Lies. In my past drunken world, it’s what I’d do every minute of every day with first myself, then others, always at my convenience and my own benefit. I don't do that any or ever more.
The truth. Congruence in every aspect of your life. Even if you can't see the in-congruence of your own life -- the simple difference between right and wrong -- others eventually will. It's amazing how easy it is to lie. It's warming to tell the truth. It's a revelation to understand the difference.
Sober Recovery. A place of comfort. A place where you can be humble, let go of inhibitions. A place where you can skip the beat with friendships and still come home to give and receive that loving hug. A place where truth is embraced. A place where love is real.
OneLess…thank you for reaching out.
FrenchPink. A mutual crush, for sure.
Hitrock, Saskia, tanja, Jeni, Malka, 2mags, lilac, kittycat,Leemzer, Deserto, Lilac, findingsoleil, Pink62, kittycat, ThursdayNight, flickedhis…still aboard the ship for some, where art thou for others.
And Dee...need I say anything more than thank you.
Goodness. I don’t have a perfect count, but I know I’m near 10 months. Many of you know I quit, then started, then quit again on Father’s Day of last year.
Gratefully,
C
I love you all. It's ok if I disappear for a while and come back, isn't it? I vaguely recall one of my first posts in SR dealt with the want to be fully present in my kiddo's lives. I've done that. I'm doing that. My thanks to all of you for helping me get there.
Some reflections, some knowledge gained, maybe earned along the way:
The world according to Crewisms (read, the world as I know it and things I've learned along the way.)
Humility. The art of f..king up and readily admitting so when you do.
Love. The unconditional hug, whether with a friend or someone you’ve never met.
Friendship. Years gone by without skipping the beat, yet never, ever taking it for granted.
Lies. In my past drunken world, it’s what I’d do every minute of every day with first myself, then others, always at my convenience and my own benefit. I don't do that any or ever more.
The truth. Congruence in every aspect of your life. Even if you can't see the in-congruence of your own life -- the simple difference between right and wrong -- others eventually will. It's amazing how easy it is to lie. It's warming to tell the truth. It's a revelation to understand the difference.
Sober Recovery. A place of comfort. A place where you can be humble, let go of inhibitions. A place where you can skip the beat with friendships and still come home to give and receive that loving hug. A place where truth is embraced. A place where love is real.
OneLess…thank you for reaching out.
FrenchPink. A mutual crush, for sure.
Hitrock, Saskia, tanja, Jeni, Malka, 2mags, lilac, kittycat,Leemzer, Deserto, Lilac, findingsoleil, Pink62, kittycat, ThursdayNight, flickedhis…still aboard the ship for some, where art thou for others.
And Dee...need I say anything more than thank you.
Goodness. I don’t have a perfect count, but I know I’m near 10 months. Many of you know I quit, then started, then quit again on Father’s Day of last year.
Gratefully,
C
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Hi Crewisms, that's what it's all about. In fact I've since adopted a dog and am now taking the time to raise him properly, because I'm sober and I can.
Thanks WeHav. I just figure being in a new home with new owner it might be best to start at the beginning instead of guessing where he is on the training chart so-to-speak. It makes it easier on me as I control the training timeline now. Now that have the ability to be aware enough to do this right I would like to, I guess I'm maturing all these years later.
Got his flea meds today and they are tiny compared to what I gave my cat. It's Kitten, Puppy/dog size. Easier to sneak in his food and he didn't even know I fed it to him.
He's tucked in so I'm going to watch 48 hours and then something on Netflix until I sleep.
Yes, it does look like I'm falling back into a normal sleep time again.
Thanks WeHav. I just figure being in a new home with new owner it might be best to start at the beginning instead of guessing where he is on the training chart so-to-speak. It makes it easier on me as I control the training timeline now. Now that have the ability to be aware enough to do this right I would like to, I guess I'm maturing all these years later.
Got his flea meds today and they are tiny compared to what I gave my cat. It's Kitten, Puppy/dog size. Easier to sneak in his food and he didn't even know I fed it to him.
He's tucked in so I'm going to watch 48 hours and then something on Netflix until I sleep.
Yes, it does look like I'm falling back into a normal sleep time again.
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Originally Posted by Soberjanedoe 
Hey guys.
I've been a bit lazy the past 2 days and unmotivated so I'm listening to some loud dance music in the hopes that it perks me up.
I've been a bit lazy the past 2 days and unmotivated so I'm listening to some loud dance music in the hopes that it perks me up.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Aussie
Posts: 382
I'm listening to a Ministry of Sound 2012 Remix collection. It's got all the top songs of 2012 remixed to be awesome. It's fantastic there's Rhianna, Maroon 5, Carly Rae Jepson, Gotye, Afrojack and more that have been remixed by people like Tiesto.
ETA: It's working and I'm getting hyped up.
ETA: It's working and I'm getting hyped up.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Wow, Crewisms.....how lovely to hear from you, it has really brightened up the morning. And to know you're doing so well!xxx
To be present in our kids lives is truly the greatest reward of sobriety for me too xx
To be present in our kids lives is truly the greatest reward of sobriety for me too xx
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Originally Posted by Soberjanedoe
I'm listening to a Ministry of Sound 2012 Remix collection. It's got all the top songs of 2012 remixed to be awesome. It's fantastic there's Rhianna, Maroon 5, Carly Rae Jepson, Gotye, Afrojack and more that have been remixed by people like Tiesto.
ETA: It's working and I'm getting hyped up.
ETA: It's working and I'm getting hyped up.
Morning Jeni, hope you woke up on the right side of the bed ;-)
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Morning Mayans!
A quick one before I head for work.
Crewisms, thank you for your thoughtful post!
Shock, you are a wonderful presence in Oscar's life. A gift in both directions.
Morning, Jeni!
SJD, glad the music is helping. That usually works for me. There's something special about the way music impacts our moods.
WeHav, congrats on the rapidly growing number of days.
Bloss, always good to hear from you :-)
A happy Thursday to all!
(((hugs)))
Sassy
A quick one before I head for work.
Crewisms, thank you for your thoughtful post!
Shock, you are a wonderful presence in Oscar's life. A gift in both directions.
Morning, Jeni!
SJD, glad the music is helping. That usually works for me. There's something special about the way music impacts our moods.
WeHav, congrats on the rapidly growing number of days.
Bloss, always good to hear from you :-)
A happy Thursday to all!
(((hugs)))
Sassy
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by crewisms
FrenchPink. A mutual crush, for sure.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Crew, so happy to hear from you! And so so so happy to hear you have 10 months! Thank you so much for checking in and letting us know how you've been. Keep doing what you're doing! Your kids are very lucky to have you sober and you should be so very proud of yourself 
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Good Morning All,
Jeni - That is wonderful news that you have worked through all of the steps. You have worked so very hard at your recovery. You are a constant source of inspiration to me.
((Sas)) - Sending hugs your way on your surgery stress. In spite of that, you sound very positive. You are wonderfully inspiring
Wehav2day - Thank you for the snake story! That was too funny. Working in a nature preserve sounds like it would be wonderful. Do you ever take walks at lunchtime through the preserve? I used to take walks through the woods when I was working and found it very calming. I would often see deer and they were very tame. I love animals, so seeing them would really lift my spirits.
Crewisms - What a lovely post! Congratulations on 10 months of sobriety
It is great to know that you are doing so well.
OLL- I hope work is going well and you find some time to pursue your love of gardening
I had a few good days and managed to hit some meetings. Yesterday was not such a good day. I have a wonderful saying on my collage that really resonates with me on the less than ideal days. "I know that sun can't shine every day, but if I can stand the rain, I wil see the sun again, if I stay sober". Tonight is my service position and my new grandsponsor's celebration of 30 years. I am really looking forward to it.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Jeni - That is wonderful news that you have worked through all of the steps. You have worked so very hard at your recovery. You are a constant source of inspiration to me.
((Sas)) - Sending hugs your way on your surgery stress. In spite of that, you sound very positive. You are wonderfully inspiring
Wehav2day - Thank you for the snake story! That was too funny. Working in a nature preserve sounds like it would be wonderful. Do you ever take walks at lunchtime through the preserve? I used to take walks through the woods when I was working and found it very calming. I would often see deer and they were very tame. I love animals, so seeing them would really lift my spirits.
Crewisms - What a lovely post! Congratulations on 10 months of sobriety
It is great to know that you are doing so well.OLL- I hope work is going well and you find some time to pursue your love of gardening
I had a few good days and managed to hit some meetings. Yesterday was not such a good day. I have a wonderful saying on my collage that really resonates with me on the less than ideal days. "I know that sun can't shine every day, but if I can stand the rain, I wil see the sun again, if I stay sober". Tonight is my service position and my new grandsponsor's celebration of 30 years. I am really looking forward to it.
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Tanja thank you for your well wishes. I am plugging through the work days easier, accepting the way things are, and trying to remember this place is not my life. I have been much better once leaving here, not thinking and worrying about it, which is great progress. Between the therapy, a few books, and meditating, I'm working on the present moment kind of stuff and I think it's helping me. I just have to stay consistent with it. Hoping to get some gardening this weekend
I'm glad you had a few good days and sorry to hear about yesterday. Your walks in the woods sound like they were great! I love seeing animals especially ones in their natural environment. Have you ever been to Yellowstone? Buffalo and and elk and fox literally parade through right in front of you! I how you have a good night at your service position and celebration. How is the new sponsor? How is your nephew too?
I'm glad you had a few good days and sorry to hear about yesterday. Your walks in the woods sound like they were great! I love seeing animals especially ones in their natural environment. Have you ever been to Yellowstone? Buffalo and and elk and fox literally parade through right in front of you! I how you have a good night at your service position and celebration. How is the new sponsor? How is your nephew too?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
OLL - I am glad to hear that you are handling your work situation is such a great fashion. I have never been to Yellowstone. We have fox around here. I haven't seen any this year. But, last year I saw two sunning themselves on a neighbor's lawn. Absoutely priceless! Fortunately, the dogs I was walking didn't spot them. My new sponsor seems very low key and laid back. I haven't spoken to my nephew in a few weeks. He was supposed to meet me at a meeting a few weeks back and was a no-show. He told his mother there was no one there. Maybe, he got the time wrong. Thank you for asking.
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
Sas, thank you for the kind words about Oscar. His former mother felt the same way but I don't have faith in myself yet. I'm getting there.
Tanja, I really like that saying. It sounds like you have a good plan.
Something is upsetting me but I don't know what. I can tell because I'm smoking like a chimney and I usually only smoke 4 cigs a day. It's still better than relying on other things to hide my feelings behind.
Besides that not much going on today. Making an ice cream cone in a minute though. Yum
Tanja, I really like that saying. It sounds like you have a good plan.
Something is upsetting me but I don't know what. I can tell because I'm smoking like a chimney and I usually only smoke 4 cigs a day. It's still better than relying on other things to hide my feelings behind.
Besides that not much going on today. Making an ice cream cone in a minute though. Yum
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi guys...a very tired Jeni tonight. I'm having terrible nights, waking every hour or so with a start. I've got a lot of work stuff going on which is adding to it all. But apart from that, I'm doing just fine. I've got an extra hour or so in bed tomorrow which might help as I've got an important meeting close to home in the morning. Unfortunately not a nice meeting, in fact a downright unpleasant one, but I'm going to try not to fret about it. I've just eaten a huge amount of chocolate, I find it helps most situations...
Sorry you're a little down Shock. Sometimes there isn't always a reason but just the way the cookie crumbles...ice cream sounds a plan, some chocolate sprinkles on top would probably seal it. Take care xxx
Thanks for checking in HRB-hope work goes well xxx
OLL-it sounds like you're coming to terms with your work situation a bit? Sometimes situations are just not going to change, all you can do is manage your reaction to it. I hope your Friday goes well xxx
Tanja-I loved that saying. Enjoy the celebrations tonight xxx
FP- I just KNEW you would swoon when Crewisms made an appearance!! Steady on now...you're taken remember, you don't want a miffed MP on your hands!xxx
Now, with Crewisms back where he belongs...about time we heard from Luling, Deserto, and 2mags amongst many others...
Lots of love to you all
Xxx
Sorry you're a little down Shock. Sometimes there isn't always a reason but just the way the cookie crumbles...ice cream sounds a plan, some chocolate sprinkles on top would probably seal it. Take care xxx
Thanks for checking in HRB-hope work goes well xxx
OLL-it sounds like you're coming to terms with your work situation a bit? Sometimes situations are just not going to change, all you can do is manage your reaction to it. I hope your Friday goes well xxx
Tanja-I loved that saying. Enjoy the celebrations tonight xxx
FP- I just KNEW you would swoon when Crewisms made an appearance!! Steady on now...you're taken remember, you don't want a miffed MP on your hands!xxx
Now, with Crewisms back where he belongs...about time we heard from Luling, Deserto, and 2mags amongst many others...
Lots of love to you all
Xxx
Reach Out and Touch Faith
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: On a Sailboat
Posts: 3,871
It was Chocolate Mint ice cream. Yum.
Sorry about the sleep thing, Jeni. I haven't been sleeping deep at all lately so I'm waking up needing a lot of coffee to get up and go, and I'm not a coffee drinker. Good luck on your meeting.
Sorry about the sleep thing, Jeni. I haven't been sleeping deep at all lately so I'm waking up needing a lot of coffee to get up and go, and I'm not a coffee drinker. Good luck on your meeting.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by Jeni26
FP- I just KNEW you would swoon when Crewisms made an appearance!! Steady on now...you're taken remember, you don't want a miffed MP on your hands!xxx
Mammoth's heart is large enough to hold more than one. 
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 25
Hi All,
I'm at home after a noon meeting and a round of errands, have taken a couple of naproxen and elevated the foot with the broken toe. (Stubbed it that hard.) Once the swelling went down and the rainbow parade of discoloration abated, of course I went back to being too hard on it. Sigh.
So, lately I've been thinking about my disappointment in people with time who act in ways I don't want to emulate when I have that amount of time. This sort of thinking is just a distraction and doesn't make sense, because we're all on our own paths, starting in very different places, and so on.
The details of this one case baffle me; both parties talk about it in meetings. From hearing the younger, newer (and I'd imagined nuttier) side first, I would never have imagined she was talking about someone with time. Except that she's been through the same thing before, with someone who had even more time. That &%*! happens? So yes, color me naive.
I've started going to Al-Anon, and am wondering if I'll ever be recovered enough to apply those principles to interactions with (and thoughts about) people in my AA meetings. Maybe I don't have to, yet. Maybe I can start with just applying the principles to myself, say by staying off this bum toe while it heals.
OK, here's a practical question for you: how far is it ok to ask those around us to make adjustments that lower our exposure to alcohol? The other night, I was at Mr. X's (that's what a program friend has dubbed my bf, to treat him anonymously or something) and he'd bought dinner fixings that just needed to be put on the table. So I was putting together salad ingredients, and wanted to make a vinaigrette. Reached for a lovely bottle of balsamico, and saw it was sealed with a cork.
Oooof. I do not want to know where Mr. X' corkscrew is. He already cleared the cabinet full of hard stuff from the kitchen into storage, and I'm not sure where the beer went but it's no longer in the kitchen refrigerator. There's wine around, whites in a cooler under one of the counters and reds upstairs. I'm afraid of forgetting that it's important I don't drink -- seriously. So I try to have as many barriers as possible between myself and the first sniff.
Is it ok to call him and ask him to uncork that balsamico when I'm not there?
Oh, and yes, I have experience in uncorking wine without the aid of a corkscrew. ;-)
I'm at home after a noon meeting and a round of errands, have taken a couple of naproxen and elevated the foot with the broken toe. (Stubbed it that hard.) Once the swelling went down and the rainbow parade of discoloration abated, of course I went back to being too hard on it. Sigh.
So, lately I've been thinking about my disappointment in people with time who act in ways I don't want to emulate when I have that amount of time. This sort of thinking is just a distraction and doesn't make sense, because we're all on our own paths, starting in very different places, and so on.
The details of this one case baffle me; both parties talk about it in meetings. From hearing the younger, newer (and I'd imagined nuttier) side first, I would never have imagined she was talking about someone with time. Except that she's been through the same thing before, with someone who had even more time. That &%*! happens? So yes, color me naive.
I've started going to Al-Anon, and am wondering if I'll ever be recovered enough to apply those principles to interactions with (and thoughts about) people in my AA meetings. Maybe I don't have to, yet. Maybe I can start with just applying the principles to myself, say by staying off this bum toe while it heals.
OK, here's a practical question for you: how far is it ok to ask those around us to make adjustments that lower our exposure to alcohol? The other night, I was at Mr. X's (that's what a program friend has dubbed my bf, to treat him anonymously or something) and he'd bought dinner fixings that just needed to be put on the table. So I was putting together salad ingredients, and wanted to make a vinaigrette. Reached for a lovely bottle of balsamico, and saw it was sealed with a cork.
Oooof. I do not want to know where Mr. X' corkscrew is. He already cleared the cabinet full of hard stuff from the kitchen into storage, and I'm not sure where the beer went but it's no longer in the kitchen refrigerator. There's wine around, whites in a cooler under one of the counters and reds upstairs. I'm afraid of forgetting that it's important I don't drink -- seriously. So I try to have as many barriers as possible between myself and the first sniff.
Is it ok to call him and ask him to uncork that balsamico when I'm not there?
Oh, and yes, I have experience in uncorking wine without the aid of a corkscrew. ;-)
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