ForMeForThem

Happy sober 40th Gorc!!! and congrats on 3 weeks! Reading your posts about your birthday really hit home with me - in August I turned 40 and had promised myself that I would celebrate and start my 40's sober. It's one of my regrets that it didn't happen. But here I am a few months later and I'm working really hard to make it stick this time (4 weeks today). So don't give in today, you deserve a sober birthday, take it from me-you won't regret it tomorrow! Enjoy your day!!!
:day1

ForMeForThem

Poppy - I am so proud of you! So glad you got up there (I never had the courage with or without alcohol! the closest I ever got was playing rock band on the xbox with my family - and probably best if i keep it there!).

Great job on not just getting through the party without drinking, but proving to yourself that you can have fun without it!

ForMeForThem

Wifi - I'm glad you're getting right back to it. Learn from what happened and use it the next time you get that urge. You can do it. You can still be part of November, be part of both - the more support the better!

Nikkipoo

I am proud of you Idiot! Going to that 1st party is really hard test and you PASSED.

After awhile, I just plan to tell my friends that I am no longer drinking....as hard as that may be for them to believe!

Nikkipoo

I see a lot of movies. Last week it was "Lincoln" which was awesome! I thought Moonrise Kinddom was great too.

veryready

Wow there are some awesome posts here this morning. I think we lost some mojo over thanksgiving, but I would say we are once again 'cooking with gas'. I had a teacher that used to always say that.

I went to a party last night and had someone insist on putting an open bottle of beer in my hand. I started to think it was rude, but its my fault. He was just doing what I wanted him to do for years. Really can't stop seeing these people. They are neighbors and the kids are friends, etc. I just need a better line than no thanks. That's not enough. Oh and I just put it down when he wasn't looking. He did make me do a cheers with him first. No sipping.

Good work everyone. Really impressive, Poppy, ID10T, I can't list everyone as this thread goes so fast, but it really motivates me to wake up and read about all your successes. That includes you wifi.

JJay

Had a nice (huge) breakfast with my parents. I went to the gym after that but about 45 minutes into my workout my body said, "Okay, enough is enough. Time to rest a bit." After a long work week and daily workouts at the gym I decided to cut my workout short and take the rest of the weekend off.

Snow is still coming down here but it's not really sticking too much. Still just a dusting.

Hope everyone's afternoon is going well.

Junebugapril

Wow, I love our little group. Your stories are sometimes sad, sometimes happy, but I always learn from what you say. I love going down this bumpy road with you.

I have two weeks sober today. I still feel a little shaky and unsure of myself, but in general, I feel good. I like how clear my mind feels. It's subtle, but I do notice it. I didn't realize how much effect my drinking had on my brain chemistry until I stopped drinking. I had been really depressed before I stopped drinking. When I stopped drinking, the depression lifted and is now gone.

I am disappointed with what I term the Cult of AA. I am starting to see the similarities in the meetings. I see a lot of redundant stuff that seems a waste of time to me. The so called beginner's meeting that I went to last night was loaded with people who had thirty or more years sober. People spend a lot of time thanking the speaker. To me there is a lot of redundancy that would be better served by talking about people's actual issues. I personally don't need to hear the same stuff over and over. I get it the first time.

That being said, I do hope I find a comfortable home meeting. I will continue to look for my home meeting, even though out of the first five meetings I have attended, four were awful, one was okay.

I didn't think it would be this hard to like AA. When I went to Al-Anon years ago, I liked the meeting I went to. I only went to one group, and it was fine.

I am really proud of our little group. You are all doing so well, and even if you slipped, you are here now, and that's all that counts.

June

JJay

There was a meeting I used to go to called "Day At a Time For Beginner's". It's the same thing. Some people in there have 1 hour sober and others had 3 decades. It's not a beginner's meeting at all. Unfortunately, they're all like that. At least in my area. And in my town you can find about 20 meetings a day. I don't bash AA. I know it works for a ton of people. There are a few things I like about it but a lot I don't. And if you don't like redundancy then you're not going to like AA (in my opinion).

It sounds like you'd be better of speaking to a counselor or someone/something similar. AA doesn't really discuss people's issues all that much. If you speak up and say you're struggling basically what they'll say is, "Just don't pick up that first drink. Don't drink. Call your sponsor. Keep coming to meetings." They aren't going to try to talk you through your problems and issues.

AnotherPaul

I guess I should check in here. Sober since 11/19/12 - this is day 13.

June: Congrats on two weeks! As for AA, have you been to five different groups or five meetings at the same group? The reason I ask is that I've found a lot of variance in the groups I've attended (I bounced in and out of AA for months before I finally quit drinking a couple of weeks ago). I definitely agree with you that some groups have a somewhat cultish feel and others feel more like people are there to be part of a social club rather than to do the work of carrying on the message of sobriety to others. Through trial and error, I did manage to find two very good groups that I now attend regularly.

I'm glad to hear that you're going to keep searching for your home group. Good ones are out there, and even if it's a needle in a haystack in your area, that needle is well worth finding.

And best of luck in general.

Grimes

thanks everyone. ya nikki i guess i will have to tell everyone too, or maybe just do the ive been exercising more and dont want the alcohol answer i guess time will tell.

i wanna watch movies but i used to drink always when watching them. i havent seen most of the ones you guys are talking about though. nothing i liked better than getting a good buzz on and watching a comedy, or whatever. only watched two movies since quitting and i used to watch one or two a night.

june and other people, ive never been to an aa meeting. knew right away it wasnt for me, but it does seem to work for a lot of people. figured if it was really hard to quit i would give it a go. you never know what will happen. i read of people going for months and years without drinking and relapsing, shows its really never gonna end. i dont even know where im going with this?

hope everyones doing ok, still 9 hours till the beer store closes. cleaning up all the random papers in the house today, the fun never stops at my place lol.

later fellow alcoholics

Junebugapril

You guys are awesome. Thanks for the quick responses. JJay, I attended meetings in five different groups. I see how well AA works for people, and I keep wanting it to work for me. Somehow I am hopeful that I will find the right group. My feeling is "Who am I to argue with success?"

I had a sponsor who asked me to call her every day. I called her for a few days, then stopped. She hasn't called me. I do think the idea of a sponsor is great. I can see where it would help both people. So I am continuing to have stars in my eyes about AA, and hope to find the right meeting.

Maybe it would have been better if I had started AA when I was still drinking, rather than three days after I stopped. I don't feel that my life is totally unmanageable, either, one of the basic tenets. Still, I see so many people that have been helped by AA. I dunno, it's a conundrum!

ForMeForThem

veryready - impressed you stayed so strong. I think if someone physically put a glass of wine in my hand I would have a hard time putting it down. I hope I would but wow, that's some strength there!

Marine28

Junebug - I tried to quit drinking on my own for 6 years and ended up with a DUI. I have only been going to AA for three weeks, and am still searching for the right "fit". Yeah, they are all basically the same, but I have found a few that are more to my liking. Some are very religious based and some are not. I am on the "not" end of the scale! I am going to try another one this afternoon. Fortunately I live in an area where there are about 25-30 each day starting at 7am all the way through 9pm. I find the ones later at night to be more of what I am looking for, and I intend to try some of the 7am meetings too. Don't give up- keep looking. It works for a lot of people.

AnotherPaul

I was the one who asked that question actually. No worries!

It's good that you're trying different groups. I was fortunate that the very first one I went to turned out to be a very good fellowship. A couple of the others, boy if that had been my first AA experience I might have said to hell with this and never gone to another. It's good that you're being more open-minded than that. Keep hunting.

And you're right about the repetition. I'll be honest: I spend the first ten minutes of every meeting silently meditating or reading from the Big Book because I've heard the same exact opening a few dozen times now! But I see the value in explaining the program for the first-timers.

Here's the thing about AA: it's not perfect. Some people will drone on for 10 minutes about something that isn't relevant to your situation. And that's okay. But out of every meeting I've ever gone to, at least one person has said something that I could relate to or that made me think. So maybe it's only a few minutes out of those 60 that are useful to me, but that's enough.

Do you speak at the meetings? In my first 20 or 25 meetings, I spoke up maybe 3 times. Recently I've made it a point to be more vocal and try to speak at almost every meeting (if I have something relevant to offer on the topic). Last night is a good example. I was having some cravings all afternoon, even though I'd already been to two meetings at my detox facility earlier in the day. I decided at 5:15 that I needed to go to the 5:30 meeting at an AA group near my place. So I did, and I spoke up for a couple of minutes, and after the meeting about half a dozen people came up to me and said they appreciated what I'd shared. Two of them asked to trade phone numbers. One older gentleman and I sat on the patio and talked for half an hour. Then when I got home, another guy I'd met at a meeting earlier this week called to check on me and we talked on the phone for an hour. That's what it's all about: networking and building a support system. And AA is awesome for that even if you don't agree with everything in the program. I had several issues with AA, which is part of why I bounced in and out for so long, but it has grown on me over time.

I hope you'll find a group that you click with.

AnotherPaul

This is a very good point. It has been my experience that the best meetings are the ones early in the morning and late at night. I was at an excellent 8:30 am meeting this morning. That is where you will find the people who are serious about getting sober: the ones who are there first thing on a Saturday morning or at 8 pm or 10 pm at night. When I've gone to the ones at noon or 5:30, it seems as if half the people there are only there because a judge told them they had to be there. They're not serious about getting sober and a lot of times don't even believe they have a problem (and maybe they really don't). You're just not as likely to get a good conversation when half the room doesn't want to be there.

Junebugapril

This stuff about AA is very helpful to hear. It does make sense that early in the morning and late at night might be better. I have not tried those yet, now I will.

I do talk at most of the meetings. The only one I didn't talk in was the meeting I liked the best. I learned a lot from listening to each of the speakers talk about their situations. Most had started drinking in college.

I feel like "Who am I to judge?", yet I sit in judgement at each meeting. I could relate much better to the meeting where the people talked about their college drinking. The meeting with the gang members, not so much. My sponsor told me we are all the same, but I just don't feel that way. I feel like I am being a snob, but if I am not comfortable sitting in a room with gang members cell phones constantly ringing, people walking in and out, then it's just not for me. I guess I am just not tolerant enough.

AnotherPaul

There's nothing snobbish about feeling more comfortable in a room with people from a background more similar to yours, especially when we're sharing very personal thoughts and feelings.

Stick with it. You'll find your spot.

veryready

Thanks, but it is just a good thing it was not a high end IPA, like a ranger or titan (or modus or hercules or karma). I could write a book on IPA. It was a coors. I'll just say that coors was not often my first beer, but it was my last beer many times if you know what I mean. Not a position I want to be in. I need to work on my story. Instead of saying no thanks. I should at least have said 'I can't drink tonight'. I would probably then need a 'why not' response in some cases.

Keep up the good work! I always read your posts. They are a big help.

Beeliz

Hi all!
So I was doing a friends hair and make up this afternoon for her christmas party,and she was talking about having a glass of wine when she gets home before the party,and what she was going to drink tonight ect...made me want a glass of wine so bad. And also made me realized that |I need to avoid certain situations and events. I told her I was taking a break from drinking and she said..."aww,,why? You're boring!!"...a lot of people don't like to hear that I guess,and it puts you in a category of "boring". It's my body,my life,and for the first time I didn't want to give in,It made me feel a little stronger..and that the choice I'm making is for ME and not anyone else. So I'm going to take my dogs for a long walk right now,outside in this FREEZING weather cause it's 4:20 pm and I'm getting a bit antsy. (plus it's saturday nigth) :/